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Old 07-13-2017, 10:49 AM   #3471
bloke57
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I wish that I understood quantum physics.
All of a sudden your brain clears and it all clicks into place. You are a genius.

Trouble is you now both exist and yet don't exist...and you may even be it two places at the same time. You have some charm sometimes - but then people are put off by your strangeness...and you never know whether you are up or down.

Eventually your brain can't take it anymore and you end up a gibbering idiot, fit only to be a VEF member.

I would like alterations/repairs to my house to happen magically so that I don't have to put up with builders getting me up early, making huge amounts of noise and messing up my toilet.
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Old 07-13-2017, 12:30 PM   #3472
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Granted. She is sitting in the kitchenette with nana teaktop and the image of nana, who apparently also goes commando under her floral nightie, will haunt you 'til your dying day.
I wish that I understood quantum physics.
Wish granted. As you finally understand it your head explodes.

I wish that I would be able to fuck the next poster

Last edited by ball7; 07-13-2017 at 05:51 PM..
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Old 07-13-2017, 06:19 PM   #3473
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Wish granted. As you finally understand it your head explodes.

I wish that I would be able to fuck the next poster



Deaf Genie grants your wish to suck on my toaster. Unfortunately for you, I left it plugged in this morning, so between the massive burns on your mouth and face and the electricity coursing through your body causing your muscles to spasm, the encounter is something less than you had hoped for. Also, I make you mop up the puddle of urine on my kitchen floor when you are done while whipping you with the toaster cord.

I wish to be on vacation in Tahiti.
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Old 07-13-2017, 10:32 PM   #3474
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Deaf Genie grants your wish to suck on my toaster. Unfortunately for you, I left it plugged in this morning, so between the massive burns on your mouth and face and the electricity coursing through your body causing your muscles to spasm, the encounter is something less than you had hoped for. Also, I make you mop up the puddle of urine on my kitchen floor when you are done while whipping you with the toaster cord.

I wish to be on vacation in Tahiti.
Er! That's actually quite do-able. Just save up.

But hey! No one corrupted my wish of three posts ago. Does that mean I can have my wish?
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Old 07-14-2017, 12:13 AM   #3475
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Er! That's actually quite do-able. Just save up.

But hey! No one corrupted my wish of three posts ago. Does that mean I can have my wish?
Indeed, no builders getting you up early, making huge amounts of noise and messing up your toilet. Instead you get Dementors, Basilisks, Ghosts, Boggarts and Acromantula.
I wish the taxman would decide I have contributed more than my fair share and give me back all the taxes I have ever paid. With interest.
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Old 07-14-2017, 06:25 PM   #3476
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Wish granted. Unfortunately, in the meantime, you have died in prison while serving a lengthy term for tax evasion. At least the final rebate gets you a nice upgrade to your headstone.

I wish to be back in the 90's as my younger self, in my 20's and having just won a huge lottery jackpot, with a sexy Carla Fernandez ( also young and nubile and in her 20s) sitting naked on my lap, ready to give me congratulatory sex.
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Old 07-14-2017, 07:28 PM   #3477
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^Wish granted.
Like your younger self the intercourse last 23 seconds.

I wish Trump would post on this board instead of twitter. THereby making this board a huge hit.
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Old 07-18-2017, 09:50 AM   #3478
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Wish granted, Albert Trump of Cleckheaton, Yorkshire, England (for non Uk members) posts his private collection of sheep shagging pictures, and the board and it's members are a huge hit with the authorities.

I wish that for one day only, I could have one of everything advertised on TV sent to my door the day after.
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Old 07-19-2017, 03:17 PM   #3479
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Wish granted, Albert Trump of Cleckheaton, Yorkshire, England (for non Uk members) posts his private collection of sheep shagging pictures, and the board and it's members are a huge hit with the authorities.

I wish that for one day only, I could have one of everything advertised on TV sent to my door the day after.
Granted. All the future special waste will be delivered to you free of charge at your doorstep. Curiously you look trough all the shiny crap. Just to understand that the belief that consumption makes happy is nothing but a big lie which corporations keep alive by dishonest TV advertising.

Disappointed, you go back into your house. There you ponder your life for hours. Finally, you set everything on fire, and spend the rest of your life alone in the nearby forest. There you collect mushrooms, stones and dead animals all day long. Just to learn that even this does not makes you happy.

I wish I had a butler.

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Old 07-19-2017, 11:45 PM   #3480
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I wish I had a butler.
Wish granted. Two weeks later after hiring your Butler (James) your bloody corpse are found in a ditch. The butler did it.

I wish more A celebrities would turn into porn stars
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