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Old 07-14-2017, 05:25 PM   #3471
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Wish granted. Unfortunately, in the meantime, you have died in prison while serving a lengthy term for tax evasion. At least the final rebate gets you a nice upgrade to your headstone.

I wish to be back in the 90's as my younger self, in my 20's and having just won a huge lottery jackpot, with a sexy Carla Fernandez ( also young and nubile and in her 20s) sitting naked on my lap, ready to give me congratulatory sex.
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Old 07-14-2017, 06:28 PM   #3472
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^Wish granted.
Like your younger self the intercourse last 23 seconds.

I wish Trump would post on this board instead of twitter. THereby making this board a huge hit.
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Old 07-18-2017, 08:50 AM   #3473
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Wish granted, Albert Trump of Cleckheaton, Yorkshire, England (for non Uk members) posts his private collection of sheep shagging pictures, and the board and it's members are a huge hit with the authorities.

I wish that for one day only, I could have one of everything advertised on TV sent to my door the day after.
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Old 07-19-2017, 02:17 PM   #3474
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Wish granted, Albert Trump of Cleckheaton, Yorkshire, England (for non Uk members) posts his private collection of sheep shagging pictures, and the board and it's members are a huge hit with the authorities.

I wish that for one day only, I could have one of everything advertised on TV sent to my door the day after.
Granted. All the future special waste will be delivered to you free of charge at your doorstep. Curiously you look trough all the shiny crap. Just to understand that the belief that consumption makes happy is nothing but a big lie which corporations keep alive by dishonest TV advertising.

Disappointed, you go back into your house. There you ponder your life for hours. Finally, you set everything on fire, and spend the rest of your life alone in the nearby forest. There you collect mushrooms, stones and dead animals all day long. Just to learn that even this does not makes you happy.

I wish I had a butler.

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Old 07-19-2017, 10:45 PM   #3475
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I wish I had a butler.
Wish granted. Two weeks later after hiring your Butler (James) your bloody corpse are found in a ditch. The butler did it.

I wish more A celebrities would turn into porn stars
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Old 07-19-2017, 10:54 PM   #3476
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I wish more A celebrities would turn into porn stars
Granted. After watching three hours of gay porn starring Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp and Justin Bieber, you wish you could take your wish back.
I wish the POTUS reality TV show would get cancelled.
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Old 07-20-2017, 09:51 PM   #3477
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I wish the POTUS reality TV show would get cancelled.
Your wish is my command.

The POTUS reality show is canceled, and after the unanimous adoption of an Ermächtigungsgesetz replaced by the BLOE (beloved leader or else) reality show. The show is very popular with all tallented gazillionaires. The untalented poor will be declared private property without the right to eat cake.

I wish I had a paraplegic butler.
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Old 07-26-2017, 07:59 AM   #3478
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Wish Granted, however the cost of modifications to your home to allow him to function properly are crippling, and when he accidentally crashes his wheelchair into your neck when you are lying on the floor, you cannot afford the care you need following your spinal cord injury. You live for 30 years in total agony.

I wish I could find a new element.
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Old 07-26-2017, 05:27 PM   #3479
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I wish I could find a new element.
You do, well done!

The world of science is stunned and names the new element in honour of what happened to you after you breathed it in the first time.

Bollocksexplodium is now number 119 on the periodic table.

Your Nobel prize is, sadly, posthumous.

I wish I had a holiday home on the Jurassic Coast, Dorset, England.
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Old 07-26-2017, 10:21 PM   #3480
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I wish I had a holiday home on the Jurassic Coast, Dorset, England.
Granted. In reality Velociraptors may only be the size of turkeys, but a gaggle of them makes short work of you while you are out watering the roadaden...the roddyden....the daises.
I wish that back when I was a university student and delivering pizzas to make ends meet, I really had encountered as many hot MILF's as I told my friends I did...or even just one.
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