Lewd Limericks

[19gc19]

Sorry if it is a re-post...

There once was a lady named Lucky,
Who used dynamite to give herself fucky.
They found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
And one of her tits in Kentucky

[BlueArsedFly]

There was a young porn star named Tove
Who sucked Horny Rob like a hoover
She took all his cum
But not up her bum
Cos butt fucking just didn't move 'er

[Mantissa]

To an unmarried woman named Hintz,
The mention of sex brings a wince.
In a burst of exuberance,
She sheathed my protuberance…
And she's just been aborted of quints.

[Mantissa]

There was a young girl of New Guinea,
Who got very large 'neath her pinny.
She thought it was wind,
But found she had sinned,
And she had it removed for a guinea.

[Mantissa]

Young Stella, caught short for a pee,
Just showered her client for free,
Then got to thinking,
“So much beer drinking,
Spells the urination of me.”
- Dixon Prix

[Mantissa]

A good wife must be thoughtful and sweet
And if husband is late, be discreet.
Although dinner is cold
There is no need to scold,
For perhaps somewhere else he did eat.

[Mantissa]

More Oral Sex I hear you demand…


A French kiss is with lips asunder,
That Brit's kiss at all is a wonder.
A Swiss kiss done well
Should end with a yodel,
And Australian kiss is down-under.

[leinad27]

Lewd and crude is my food. Oh it's so fun to be shunned

[Mantissa]

To her grandson said nosy Ms. Todd,
"Do you spend your nights rubbing your rod?
Your old man, as a kid
Most certainly did;
If you don't do it too, you're quite odd."

[Mantissa]

I woke with a smile on my face,
For with me slept Carole, in lace.
What a way to awake,
Made my trouser snake quake;
As my tongue lapped her tight smilely space.