Post your corny jokes - Page 1318

**Mal Hombre** · March 14th, 2018, 10:05 AM

No need to ham it up..

**effCup** · March 14th, 2018, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I had sex with a pig

Too late to advise: don't tell the police.
Constable or a higher rank?

... uniform or plainclothes (in mufti/drag)?

**bfg9000** · March 14th, 2018, 01:33 PM

1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

8. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

**gedly** · March 15th, 2018, 06:30 PM

I have decided that I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.

Aaron · March 15th, 2018, 11:32 PM

Inspired by a song on the radio, a fellow went to New York and got a gig dancing at Radio City Music Hall.

He's now the Rockette Man.

**bfg9000** · March 16th, 2018, 03:32 PM

11. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

12. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick-a-lotta-puss.

13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

15. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

16. What’s the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the shit out of you.

18. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?

The man.

19. Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they’re used to eating nuts.

20. What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

**gedly** · March 16th, 2018, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I have decided that I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.

I was only joking!

**effCup** · March 17th, 2018, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.

Starting like you mean to continue?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I was only joking!

Welcome back.

Now, there's some corn over there that needs husking.

**bfg9000** · March 17th, 2018, 02:14 AM

21. What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

22. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?

They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.

23. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

24. Why did God give men penises?

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

25. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

26. What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!

27. What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

28. What’s another name for a vagina?

The box a penis comes in.

29. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

30. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?

Fucking hot!

**bfg9000** · March 17th, 2018, 02:50 PM

31. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

32. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

33. How is life like a penis?

Your girlfriend makes it hard.

34. Why do women have orgasms?

Just another reason to moan, really.

35. What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Just-in!

36. What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

37. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A private tutor.

38. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?

A cherry float.

39. Know what a 6.9 is?

Another good thing screwed up by a period.

40. How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

March 14th, 2018, 10:05 AM	#13171
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,631 Times in 57,558 Posts	No need to ham it up.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 14th, 2018, 01:33 PM	#13173
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	1. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. 2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. 3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. 4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year. 5. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year. 6. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. 7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit. 8. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me! 9. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died. 10. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

March 16th, 2018, 03:32 PM	#13176
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	11. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb. 12. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss. 13. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face. 14. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. 15. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts. 16. What’s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes. 17. How is a girlfriend like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you. 18. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? The man. 19. Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they’re used to eating nuts. 20. What’s long and hard and full of semen? A submarine. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

March 17th, 2018, 02:14 AM	#13179
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	21. What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years, your job will still suck. 22. Why do walruses love a tupperware party? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal. 23. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore. 24. Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up. 25. What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak. 26. What did the penis say to the vagina? Don’t make me come in there! 27. What do a woman and a bar have in common? Liquor in the front, poker in the back. 28. What’s another name for a vagina? The box a penis comes in. 29. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch. 30. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? Fucking hot! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

March 17th, 2018, 02:50 PM	#13180
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	31. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it. 32. What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus. 33. How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard. 34. Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan, really. 35. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Just-in! 36. What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Phil! 37. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor. 38. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A cherry float. 39. Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed up by a period. 40. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

March 15th, 2018, 06:30 PM	#13174
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	I have decided that I will no longer post on Post Your Corny Jokes.

March 15th, 2018, 11:32 PM	#13175
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	Inspired by a song on the radio, a fellow went to New York and got a gig dancing at Radio City Music Hall. He's now the Rockette Man.

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