Post your corny jokes

[effCup]

Originally Posted by Isegrim

In Germany we prefer to do so on easter

That's because your Easter is in Spring. Easter in NZ is in Autumn so the lambs are older by then.

But, farmers & agro-industrial interests are probably working right now on finding ways to make "lambs" appear year-round... perhaps out of a test-tube? They've already found ways to make "beef" meat for burgers in a laboratory.

[tygrkhat40]

Originally Posted by ruffroundedges

- Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

- A man from Newfoundland went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy newf", so he decided to set a test for the Newfie hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Newfie says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Newfie says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Newfie stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go bye," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Newfie answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the newf so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Newfie stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Newfie's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells Newfie, "Go on, Newfie, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Newfie leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

My favorite Newfie joke: Did you hear about the Newfie who opened a Chinese restaurant? Half an hour later, you're half an hour later.

[Isegrim]

Originally Posted by effCup

They've already found ways to make "beef" meat for burgers in a laboratory.

I would have bet McDonalds doing this for a long time ...

[bp666]

Originally Posted by effCup

They've already found ways to make "beef" meat for burgers in a laboratory.

Then there this gem

[bp666]

And back to the jokes...hopefully

As we are both getting on a bit my wife said we should start thinking about our funerals.

To be fair, I've been thinking about hers for about forty years.

[Staffsyeoman]

My local caff has started selling Oasis soup.
You get a roll with it.

[gmcbee]

Originally Posted by effCup

The other answer is Xmas dinner, i.e. late-spring.
Very late.

Does KY jelly come in mint flavour?

Flavour. See what I did there.

[effCup]

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Does KY jelly come in mint flavour?

Spearmint only.

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Flavour. See what I did there.

You repeated yourself for de-emphasis?

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Does KY jelly come in mint flavour?

I would certainly hope that it comes in mint condition!

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by gmcbee

Does KY jelly come in mint flavour?

Err If it's used anally it can become choc mint