Women jokes

MaxJoker · October 7th, 2008, 08:14 AM

Don`t get it , this place is on the main filled with manly men who as such have to deal (Cope) with hormonal women .
Can it just be a tiny minority who gets it in the ear and groin from loony tooned time of the month nutjobs ?

. If so then all i can say is " You lucky bastards "

Q. What's the difference between PMT and BSE?
A. One's a mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem

Q. Why did God give women orgasms?
A. So they've got something else to moan about

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other

Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to

Q. What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common?
A. By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you
have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in

MaxJoker · October 10th, 2008, 11:32 AM

Q. What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic ?
A. The god damned dishes if she knows what's good for her

Q. Why do women get married in white ?
A. So they match the kitchen appliances !

Q. What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you ?
A. Made the chain too long

Q. Why do women have short feet ?
A. So they can stand closer to the stove

Q. Why don`t women have a penis ?
A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

Q. Why couldn't Heller Keller drive?
A. Because she was a woman

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer ?
A. None, it should be opened when she brings it to you

Q.What do you call a woman with two brain cells ?
A. Pregnant

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
A. The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in !

Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stalls ?
A. You hit her

Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes ?
A. Nothing, shes already been told twice

Q. A man runs over his wife and kills her. Whose fault is it ?
A. The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

MaxJoker · October 10th, 2008, 11:52 AM

They don't make em like this anymore

MaxJoker · October 10th, 2008, 12:06 PM

Albert Mudat · October 10th, 2008, 02:49 PM

GS love the 1st batch of jokes! :-)
Now admit it... women scare the hell out of you, don't they?

MaxJoker · October 10th, 2008, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albert Mudat

GS love the 1st batch of jokes! :-)
Now admit it... women scare the hell out of you, don't they?

Glad you and a few others enjoyed them , but hey there are some chucklers in the other ones you know

Oh and i sort of know what you`re thinking Albert but actually i adore and am completely addicted to women, and there lies my problem. Because i`m also someone who hates being told to change ways that i`m comfortable with and enjoy, ie staying up later than normal and living a life that don`t exactly holds "health and living to my 90`s" as a priority etc. Also i like DOING things rather than just talking about them , unfortunately that`s rubbed a couple of ex`s up the wrong way. So scared ? , no. In lusty awe , yes !!!.Although sadly also kinda disappointed in their a typical "change him at all costs " nature , who knows maybe i`m to blame and date the same sort of women time and again only with different faces ???. Christ i`m rabbiting now and to no good effect , also this is written in a real rush as i`m heading out so may read even more chaotic than usual . Bloody hell but i must have it bad for this site if i have to check on it before leaving the flat (Hah).

MaxJoker · October 12th, 2008, 02:13 AM

It always starts so promising

Then they get a gander at the lifestyle behind the outstanding personage that is i and a low rumbling begins

A sound that grows in judgmental intensity

As they become grinningly confident in their subtle mission of "Skull improvement "

But then their womanly irresistible force meets my immovable manly object and they feel the pressure of failure

But direct methods stink

For i refuse to blink

Tick tock tock tick

Sometimes their points were sharp enough to prick

Maybe a lesser soul would even turn to drink

MaxJoker · October 14th, 2008, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albert Mudat

THIS woman will never to have to suffer your stupid male-chauvinist pig jokes, Mr GS :
Enjoy! :-)

Maybe i`m wrong MR AM (But hey when does that ever happen ? ) , but you yourself claimed some of them amusing so who`s the real male-chauvinist pig here ?. Plus if they were so stupid why did you find some of them amusing ?.Of course what you seem to have done there is failed to take this thread in the manner deemed necessary, ie ironically. See every man knows we`re the weaker sex (Although i prefer to think of it as the rational sex) so what`s wrong with finding some baseless humour in our predicament ?.

Now was that a serious post i wrote ? , well who am i to judge

This picture taken during my first attempt at chat up which ended in failure when i vomited and crapped my pants,so no change there then

Four stage countdown

1- Seductive week

2- Adventurous week

3- Sensitive week

4- Hell week

MaxJoker · October 21st, 2008, 09:02 AM

You wanna know the secret to a lasting relationship ? , only give her one of em

Spot the sane woman competition

Now you see her

Now you don't

MaxJoker · October 21st, 2008, 09:05 AM

Four stages again

Well i found it funny

October 7th, 2008, 08:14 AM	#1
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Women jokes Don`t get it , this place is on the main filled with manly men who as such have to deal (Cope) with hormonal women . Can it just be a tiny minority who gets it in the ear and groin from loony tooned time of the month nutjobs ? . If so then all i can say is " You lucky bastards " Q. What's the difference between PMT and BSE? A. One's a mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem Q. Why did God give women orgasms? A. So they've got something else to moan about Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin? A. You come in one and go in the other Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to Q. What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common? A. By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by MaxJoker; December 18th, 2008 at 12:31 AM.. Reason: mispelt the eaiszyeeist word in the whole bloody world

October 10th, 2008, 11:32 AM	#2
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Q. What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic ? A. The god damned dishes if she knows what's good for her Q. Why do women get married in white ? A. So they match the kitchen appliances ! Q. What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you ? A. Made the chain too long Q. Why do women have short feet ? A. So they can stand closer to the stove Q. Why don`t women have a penis ? A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink Q. Why couldn't Heller Keller drive? A. Because she was a woman Q. How many men does it take to open a beer ? A. None, it should be opened when she brings it to you Q.What do you call a woman with two brain cells ? A. Pregnant Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? A. The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in ! Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stalls ? A. You hit her Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? A. Nothing, shes already been told twice Q. A man runs over his wife and kills her. Whose fault is it ? A. The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by MaxJoker; October 10th, 2008 at 11:33 AM.. Reason: Adding

October 10th, 2008, 11:52 AM	#3
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	They don't make em like this anymore __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 10th, 2008, 12:06 PM	#4
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	__________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 12th, 2008, 02:13 AM	#7
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	It always starts so promising Then they get a gander at the lifestyle behind the outstanding personage that is i and a low rumbling begins A sound that grows in judgmental intensity As they become grinningly confident in their subtle mission of "Skull improvement " But then their womanly irresistible force meets my immovable manly object and they feel the pressure of failure But direct methods stink For i refuse to blink Tick tock tock tick Sometimes their points were sharp enough to prick Maybe a lesser soul would even turn to drink __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 10th, 2008, 02:49 PM	#5
Albert Mudat Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 471 Thanks: 14,107 Thanked 3,097 Times in 384 Posts	GS love the 1st batch of jokes! :-) Now admit it... women scare the hell out of you, don't they?

October 21st, 2008, 09:02 AM	#9
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	You wanna know the secret to a lasting relationship ? , only give her one of em Spot the sane woman competition Now you see her Now you don't __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 21st, 2008, 09:05 AM	#10
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	Four stages again Well i found it funny __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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