Post your corny jokes - Page 1325

captain fanta · March 29th, 2018, 08:06 PM

I can't see me and my new girlfriend lasting long, we're just too different.

She's more of a morning person, whereas I like to fvck her sister.

**gedly** · March 29th, 2018, 09:54 PM

There's a new doctor at my local clinic called Dr. Duck. I hope he's not some sort of a quack.

**Silklover** · March 30th, 2018, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

Anybody see that news item today about the world shortage of dwarves?

No, not us 3 feet under.

Aaron · March 30th, 2018, 10:49 AM

The local plastic surgeon has published coupons in the news paper for breast augmentation surgery. I'd take it more seriously if they weren't called "Tits Chits."

dazza2 · March 30th, 2018, 03:41 PM

My mate went on holiday but the airline ended up losing his luggage......................he took them to Court but lost his case

**Mal Hombre** · March 30th, 2018, 04:56 PM

If all coppers are bastards,Are They still the legitimate authority ?

**Isegrim** · March 30th, 2018, 05:06 PM

"Not recommended under the age of 10 years!"

... actually that warning refers to a Crazy Horse show broadcasted on french tv ...

**gedly** · March 30th, 2018, 05:09 PM

I've got some builders working on my house next week. They're called J. Wayne and C. Eastwood Builders. I hope they're not a pair of cowboys.

Aaron · March 30th, 2018, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I've got some builders working on my house next week. They're called J. Wayne and C. Eastwood Builders. I hope they're not a pair of cowboys.

The foreman is G. Campbell. Rhinestones on his tool belt are pretty!

**mrfixit** · April 1st, 2018, 02:29 PM

Once there was a magical mirror.  When you told the truth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.
One day three college girls went to the mirror.
The red head said, “I think I’m the smartest one.” Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.
The brunette then said, “I think I’m the prettiest one.” Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good-looking boyfriend, and a lot of money.
Then the blonde said, “I think…” *poof*  Then she suddenly disappeared forever!

March 30th, 2018, 03:41 PM	#13245
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	My mate went on holiday but the airline ended up losing his luggage......................he took them to Court but lost his case Last edited by dazza2; March 30th, 2018 at 08:37 PM.. Reason: typo

March 30th, 2018, 04:56 PM	#13246
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,791 Thanked 855,863 Times in 57,575 Posts	If all coppers are bastards,Are They still the legitimate authority ? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 30th, 2018, 05:06 PM	#13247
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	Gentlemen under the age of ten years, please sit on your hands! "Not recommended under the age of 10 years!" ... actually that warning refers to a Crazy Horse show broadcasted on french tv ...

April 1st, 2018, 02:29 PM	#13250
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,832 Times in 9,416 Posts	Once there was a magical mirror.  When you told the truth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever. One day three college girls went to the mirror. The red head said, “I think I’m the smartest one.” Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world. The brunette then said, “I think I’m the prettiest one.” Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good-looking boyfriend, and a lot of money. Then the blonde said, “I think…” poof  Then she suddenly disappeared forever! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 29th, 2018, 08:06 PM	#13241
captain fanta Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Thanks: 39,839 Thanked 1,012 Times in 75 Posts	I can't see me and my new girlfriend lasting long, we're just too different. She's more of a morning person, whereas I like to fvck her sister.

March 29th, 2018, 09:54 PM	#13242
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,318 Times in 3,171 Posts	There's a new doctor at my local clinic called Dr. Duck. I hope he's not some sort of a quack.

March 30th, 2018, 10:49 AM	#13244
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	The local plastic surgeon has published coupons in the news paper for breast augmentation surgery. I'd take it more seriously if they weren't called "Tits Chits."

March 30th, 2018, 05:09 PM	#13248
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,886 Thanked 69,318 Times in 3,171 Posts	I've got some builders working on my house next week. They're called J. Wayne and C. Eastwood Builders. I hope they're not a pair of cowboys.