Did your mum find your porn mags?

[Lurcio]

Originally Posted by billybunter

She found mine, but just said it's part of growing up. But don't leave them hanging around. When we were moving house I came back from school one day and all my stuff had been boxed up. One box said "porn"

Cool Mum, like her sense of humour!

[Girlfan]

This happened to a mate of mine (NO, not me, honestly) when we were about 15.
He'd "discovered" a back street newsagents were they were not too worried about selling the likes of "Whitehouse" or "Lovebirds" to kids who were obviously "too young". More often than not he was served by a nice middle-aged lady.
Imagine his shock & horror one day when he came home from school to find the self-same lady sitting in his living room having a cup of tea with his Mum: she was only a long-lost schoolfriend of hers!
For months afterwards he lived in fear that the woman was going to spill the beans to his Mum, but she never did - or at least, if she did, his Mum never said anything.
Anyway, he never, EVER went back to that newsagents!

[quacksacker]

Originally Posted by lurkeyturkey

Did anyone elses mum clear out their stash of porn?

I remember being rumbled on a couple of occasions when she found my stash and subsequently gave me disapproving talking to. The funny thing is when I was 16 we had workmen in the house doing some work in the bathroom, when they left mum found a copy of Club International in there. She asked me had I left 'one of my magazines' behind, I said that I hadn't (honestly), so she gave it to me!

I kept that particular magazine (featuring Andrea Clarke brushing her teeth and getting toothpaste all over her boobs) for quite a few years for sentimental reasons!

God Yes my mother found my stash and blew her ever-loving fuse. I honestly thought she was going to have a conniption fit. I mean I could have understood if it had been gay porn, but this was straight, softcore Playboy stuff. You have never seen such an angry women.

[clonevs]

Originally Posted by jamey1974

Yes,we remember the days well.I was one of the smart ones.You buy foot lockers.The way to buy a dirty mag at the news agents was you buy two regular magazines and put the dirty one in between.You were hoping the cashier didn't hold the dirty one up when he was trying to find the price.Our face was red and we were hoping no one would see.Going home was much the same .You either have the filfth stuck between a newspaper or between the two regular magazines in that dirty brown paper bag.Those were the days.That was our life.Our girls wouldn't give us nothing.Now we have the computer age.We make sure our hard drives are private and locked and in our home office.And Computers are never shared,The wife still won't give us anything.Thank goodness there's no red-faced embarassment in the news-agents.But people still buy magazines at the rare ones you can still find.Cheers.

Excuse my rambling but your post got me thinking:
Mom found a mag of mine once when we (Mom, Dad and myself) were cleaning the house. My friends had discovered an old stash of Playboy's someone had thrown out (70's era) and I had a few between my mattress. We were all in parents bedroom and Mom made the comment that she put Dad's magazines back and that he'd better "hide them better". Confused he said what magazines. That was my cue to leave the room. Muffled discussion by them was all I heard. I was probably about 11 or 12.
As far as stashing things. Remember the days of CD's? When I still lived at home and was 18 yrs old I had a cd case that held the actual jewel cases. I would come and go toting that when I changed out music for my car. Eventually it dawned on me that this was the ideal hideaway for all no-no's under the folks roof. Porn VHS rentals, Burger and fries (no food allowed upstairs in me and my brothers bedroom, so we wouldn't stain the carpet)....the drink was easy: I would grab it from the top with the straw poking my palm and allow my sleeve on my coat to hang down and conceal it. Even enough room in there for a ziplock of smoke. What could be better after a night out shooting pool or playing Nintendo with the fellas: a bite, spark it up, knock one off
The Playboy incident had nothing on what happened when I was working in a factory. My boss was a cool dude, real laid back. He had a nice wife and two young kids (about 7-8 a boy and a girl). Anyway, we had a local VHS rental place that had adult flicks in a separate room (fellow US guys know what I mean). It was in the corner of the store. Bad thing was it was situated to where the people at the counter could see people go in and out of that room. On top of that it had "bar room" style doors. Like old school western bar doors that only cover a person from about the knees to chest height. And they squeaked. Sure enough there I am on a Friday night, nothing to do. Go and rent some flicks. I slide in unnoticed....spend about 30minutes browsing. Pick up a few flicks.....head out....squeak real loud, of course. There is the boss and the family. Oh man.....talk about embarrasing. What can you say??
If we had the internet when I was a kid: I probably wouldn't know how to play any sports, ride a bike, or swim. I never would have left the house.

[malco]

my mum found a load of my janus and blushes mags she mentioned it and simply asked why on earth spanking interested me !! after lots chats etc and many weeks she quite suddenly out of the blue asked if i wanted to see her bottom !

[duffield]

My mum found my copy of Playbirds (number 31) that I had at the bottom of my schoolbag. I was unlucky, really, because the only time she ever looked in my schoolbag just happened to be the one time there was something dodgy in there.

She was livid - absolutely furious, and I took much greater care in hiding stuff after that.

[nylons2009]

Mum found my one and only spick and span under matress told me not to buy anymore thankfully she didnt put in bin

[Sharkhunter]

Originally Posted by Knuckle_shuffler

...when I was about 13 I’d been wanking over the Bra and Panties page in Mum’s latest edition of KAYS catalogue, possibly the first time I’d seen a picture of a women in suspenders and stockings. She went ape-shit at me. She’d passed the book to a neighbour and they found the B&P pages where all stuck together!

This is a great thread, bringing back sooo many memories... Especially the "Kays" one. Back in the day I thought I was probably the only pervie ogling the pretty girlies in these thick tomes - it was something else when you got to see a bit of bush underneath a pair of sheer knickers.

My mum never found pages stuck together - I was incapable of creating such a situation at the time - but she once noticed that one of the bikini and swimwear pages had been not too carefully torn out. I can't remember what I said when confronted about it...

The next "incident" was sometime in the late 1980s when I almost religiously saved the best-looking Page 3 girls and carefully cropped the pages and pasted them in a nice red scrapbook. I must have collected around a hundred or so, until the book was starting to creak under the weight of paper, glue and another sort of sticky stuff. I managed to wedge the book between the mattress and frame of my bed, and was able to hide it successfully for well over a year. Contained within were the likes of Kathy Lloyd, Mandy Savory, Jenny Blyth, Dee Ivens, Misha Lee, Linda Lusardi, Lisa Forward and a load of other lovelies as well as a particularly nice twosome of Helen Whiskin and Tanya Axford - which I'd kill to see again.

Anyhoo, I digress. To say again, I had managed to hide the book for well over a year, and there was absolutely no chance of it ever being found. But I was to come unstuck in the most silly manner.

My mum had just returned from the grocer, and had placed what was a distinctive blue and white bag in the small bathroom bin as a bin bag. I had meanwhile been in the bedroom quietly trimming my most recent couple of Page 3 babes, and placing them in my nice thick home-made girlie book which I then placed in its safe place. Needing someplace to put the trimmings, I headed to the bathroom where I saw the empty bin bag (I of course had no idea it had just been placed there). And so I put the trimmings in.

Not long afterwards mum stomped into my room asking why I had been cutting Page 3 girls out of the paper - she clearly had been perturbed by the bathroom bin being half full when she had only recently emptied it, and had no doubt had a rummage around inside. She wanted to know where the pictures were, and I knew I was pretty much fucked. It was one of those days where I had had the time to do everything - if I had not found the time to stick them into the book I would have taken these and given them to her. But as I saw my mother steaming with righteous moral indignation at her sixteen-year old son cutting out and collecting pictures of wicked harlots baring their breasts, I knew I could do nothing but take out the book. I could have run out of the room, but then she would have taken the place apart and found it eventually.

And so I gave her my album. She didn't open it, but walked out of the door with what was one of my prized possessions. I obviously never saw the book again, and she never metioned it again. I don't think she even mentioned it to my Dad. But it was always there, bubbling, for whenever Linda Lusardi appeared on TV she would mumble under her breath about that "dirty woman" and about "perverts".

And so onto the next story.

I had slowly managed to recover from the trauma of my late-adolescent years and the demise of my Page 3 collection, and had by this time been able to stump up the courage to go out and buy some proper stuff - you know, the naughty magazines with girlies showing off their bottoms and ladygardens, lol. I had cobbled together a small stash of Pl*yb*y special editions and a couple of copies of Club International, which had remained my favourite magazine to this day. Mercifully I had placed them in separate places.

One day, I returned home from college to see my Kristine Rose and a number of other Pl*yb*y cuties staring up at me from my bed. My mother had been looking for a book of mine - and had for some reason decided to go through half a dozen box files, one of which contained my soft stuff. She asked my why had this stuff, and I explained that lots of boys liked looking at pretty girls and it was all part of growing up, etc. etc.

She seemed to take it a lot better than the Page 3 book incident, and left me alone - perhaps shaped by the fact that the women weren't exactly showing much. She often looked after a couple of kids down the road, and one day had stumbled across a porno belonging to their elder brother - probably something like MO or Club - she told me that she was glad I only had books with pretty girls and not "real, filthy porn with women showing their vaginas". It was the first time I had heard my mum say "vagina", and was bloody glad she hadn't found my copies of Club which were hidden at the bottom of my wardrobe...

[DonJuan80]

It's funny how many people people hide theirs under their bed lol. I on the other hand thought my hiding place was genius, at the time anyway. I think I was about 13 and I had these cuttings from The Sun stashed in an obscure history book that I had. Nobody is going to go looking in there right? Until one day while I was out playing football and my parents had a friend over, their topic must have somehow moved on to this bit of history. You can fill in the rest... I return home, they're all sat in the living room, my mum and her friend are staring down 'the little pervert', my dad has a huge grin on his face. I look down, there's the book on her lap, and all of a sudden I'm a rabbit caught in the headlights.
"Are these yours?" she asks me
"No", I answer unconvincingly
"Well how did they get in here?"
"I dunno, a friend maybe?"
I remember my dad making a comment about liking her curves. It was all very embarrassing, especially since they had company. Ever since that day everything has been stored on computers to avoid any repeats! But I'm pretty sure my mum knows. The number of times she's walked into my room and I'm mid-wank, I mean I'm quick at reacting (pull the trousers up etc) but there's only so many times she can believe that the computer "crashes" and restarts just as she comes in! I'm sure she must have caught a split second glance at what was on the screen, at least once... But I'm 20 now, and I've got a girlfriend who has to do Uni work sometimes, I make no excuses for my needs!

[Mr Lucas]

I found my parents porn stash, and they found mine. Stalemate I guess, they can't really complain about that then can they.

To be honest can't see why any parent should get fussed over a porn mag, unless your Mum happens to be a tedious feminist, but what's the harm? It should be something every teenager enjoys secretly - and if your parents find your girlie mags at least they know your not going to turn into a camp TV executive peddling gayness to the masses.