November 9th, 2010, 11:53 AM | #1 |
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Things You Could Do Then That You Can`t Do Now
Now me i used to be able to throw my voice when i was younger , leading to many a merry giggle in the classroom after i`d made it seem like a mad Russian ( Although are there any other kind ?) had told our foppish French teacher to " Shat da vak up un suvender !"
Although the fun didn`t last that long after Shaun Guyman ( I know what a wanky name it`s like Kidboy or something ) grassed me up to the sub deputy head Point is i tried to do it just now after many many years and found out i can`t Well not unless i want it to sound like somebody a few feet away from me is choking Also used to be able to do a decent Sooouth Afffreeekaaan accent Only tried to do it now and i sound more like Brother Tabler than the late Eugène Terre'Blanche Which when i think about is quite a weird coincidence given they both have similar political views Hmmmmm what else can`t i do anymore I can`t walk fast down the street and hold a simultaneous conversation on the phone anymore Or at least not without the person on the other end of the line enquiring about the safety of my speaking to them while i`m obviously in the process of climbing kilimanjaro Plus i can no longer wolf down a proper Indian curry (Or two) anymore without waking up the next day with all the symptoms of the Ebola virus Ok there`s a few , with more to come ( As if you didn`t already know and dread it) So what about your bad selves , what did you once used to be able to do but nowadays can`t Yeah and don`t say enjoy one of my threads anymore , or i`ll bust a cap in ya ass
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November 9th, 2010, 12:01 PM | #2 |
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November 9th, 2010, 01:00 PM | #3 |
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There was a time when I could shoot six cans of beer in a row, all down in about 2 minutes If I tried just doing one can these days, call an ambulance
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November 9th, 2010, 01:13 PM | #4 | |
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Quote:
Unless of course you`re celebrating, in which case it`s nearer twenty
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November 9th, 2010, 01:47 PM | #5 |
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ummm, cum six times in an hour.
Well I did once, but i think i aged 5 years immediatly. Considering the company at the time, I'd do it all again. (or at least pathetically attempt to) |
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November 9th, 2010, 03:30 PM | #6 |
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Run
Play cricket Throw a javelin Sing in a high voice Go for days without changing my socks! Jump up and down on a bed Go topless on a beach Put the belt into the higher of the holes on my trousers Ride no-handed on my bike(can't do it now because some git nicked it this year)
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November 9th, 2010, 03:46 PM | #7 | |
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November 9th, 2010, 04:22 PM | #8 |
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I kind of regret not being able to enjoy more than a few drinks, something that left me after I had food poisoning which put me off alcohol for several years. I lost the taste for it, totally.
I'm not as strong as I used to be; lifting any substantial weight now is a struggle. But the worst is that I used to be able to have sex for hours at a time, every day, right up into my 40s, and have many of what I called 'dry' orgasms, and then days later when I really had to, a massive wet one. It's the complete opposite now, virtually premature ejaculation with intercourse. Thank god I love eating pussy. |
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November 9th, 2010, 04:46 PM | #9 |
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My singing voice has got lower, more baritone these days. When I sit down I creak and say ahh! When before I would just flop down. Can't wank as much as I used too I'm basically a grumpy old bastard when I go for a walk in the park, I need to sit down for a while.
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November 9th, 2010, 04:54 PM | #10 | |
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