Quotations, Fav Movie Lines, and so on and so forth etc

[Grey Wolf]

And I can see Russia from my house.

Thomas Jefferson—another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.

Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

I'm such a fan of Lily's Tomlin, for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian who also was kind of an overtly feminist comedian.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?

There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

Let's review the cost-free techniques that we've learned so far for raising an achievement-oriented, obedient, drug-free, virgin adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, and flat feet. Another key element is "Strong Father Figure / Fear Thereof."

I'm still technically employed by the National Broadcasting Company.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

[Television] is a great medium for writers, because there's just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it; it's on TV.

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do

Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.

If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly. (Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

Feminists do the best Photoshop because they leave the meat on your bones. They don’t change your size or your skin color. They leave in your disgusting knuckles, but they may take out some armpit stubble. Not because they’re denying its existence, but because they understand that it’s okay to make a photo look as if you were caught on your best day in the best light.

[MaxJoker]

The purpose of life is to fight maturity

~ Dick Werthimer

The tide is very much in our court now

~ Kevin Keegan

Mmmmmm Mmmmmm

~ Evil Ed

[Miss80sPorn]

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

The Outlaw Josey Wales is one the best westerns ever made.

Agreed Classic lines not already covered here...

Jamie: You can't get 'em all, Josie.
Josey Wales: That's a fact.
Jamie: How come you're doing this, then?
Josey Wales: Because I ain't got nothin' better to do.

Jamie: I wish we had time to bury them fellas.
Josey Wales: To hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.

Josey Wales: Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.

Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

Carpetbagger: Your young friend could use some help.
[holds up a bottle of patent medicine]
Carpetbagger: This is it... one dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds.
Josey Wales: Works wonders on just about everything, eh?
Carpetbagger: It can do most anything.
Josie Wales: [spits tobacco juice on the carpetbagger's coat] How is it with stains?

As he stares down union soldiers
Josey Wales: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

Laura Lee: Kansas was all golden and smelled like sunshine.
Josey Wales: Yeah, well, I always heard there were three kinds of suns in Kansas, sunshine, sunflowers, and sons-of-bitches.

[mizlaplan]

Random poster in the Daily Mail:
"Rich folks have Tax Havens. Poor folks have cash in hand."

[MaxJoker]

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women, and I hope I never get into that

~ Bill Clinton

In the Soviet army it take more courage to retreat than advance

~ Joseph Stalin

It`s a complete catastrophe

~ Nigel Tufnel

[MaxJoker]

Life can only be understood backwards , but it must be lived forwards

~ Soren Kierkegard

Osama Bin Laden is either alive and well, or not alive and not well , or not alive

~ Donald Rumsfeld

Fuck the bonus

~ Nick Randall

[IronHerder]

These are a few of my favourite quotes

These are some quotes by authors unknown to me. If you know who should get credit, please send me a message so that a small fraction of my fathomless ignorance will be cured. On the other side of the coin, I have no reluctance to 'improve' anonymous quotes and make them mine. Sort of.

A Gal wants one guy to meet her every need, a guy wants every gal to meet his one need

A Gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t

Give a difficult task to a lazy person, he’ll find an easier way to do it

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, give him the internet and you won’t be bothered for weeks

God made relatives; be thankful that we can choose our friends

Good fences make good neighbors, good bridges make better ones

Good intentions can be far more difficult to cope with than malicious intent

Good judgment is knowing the difference between temptation and opportunity

A Good listener is often a good talker with a sore throat

A Good listener is usually thinking about something else

[MaxJoker]

When one subtracts from life. Infancy (Which is vegetation) , sleep, eating , swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning. How much remains of downright existence ?. The summer of a dormouse

~ Lord Byron

If we weren't all crazy , we`d just go insane

~ Jimmy Buffett

Never compromise , even in the face of Armageddon

~ Rorschach

[Grey Wolf]

I am not a perfect man who has led a faultless life.

Do you know what would keep me in Brazil, no matter what happened? Sex!

For more than 13,000 days on the run, my life was a soap opera.

I would like to be remembered as a good father. A good husband. A good brother. A good friend. A good man. But that is simply not going to happen. Like it or not, I have reached the point of infamy when I am going to be remembered simply as 'Ronnie Biggs', whatever or whoever he is in your mind.

The last thing I stole was a box of Coca Cola from a parked truck in Adelaide. I was nice and drunk. It was New Year's Eve. And that was about 28 years ago.

One report said that since my time on the run I've had 2,500 girlfriends. I mean you got to realise, I've been on the run for more than 30 years, I have got to have had more than that!

There has been so much rubbish written up in the papers over the years.

Banks' beer. There's nothing like it! To Brazil. And to Barbados justice.

I won a scholarship with the Brixton School of Building. I screwed around, not putting in a proper attendance.

I am no longer a criminal. I gave up that practice years ago.

There's a difference between criminals and crooks. Crooks steal. Criminals blow some guy's brains out. I'm a crook.

It has been rumoured that I was the brains of the robbery, but that was totally incorrect. I've been described as the tea boy, which is also incorrect.

I don't have any intentions to return to England. I would go back if I could return as a free person. I don't want to return to prison.

I used to have a list of things from my school buddies of what kind of art material they wanted. I'd go up to the West End of London and spend the whole day knocking stuff off.

[MaxJoker]

Britain would go to the ‘back of the queue' when it comes to US trade deals if it leaves the EU

~ O`Barmy

Response

~ MaxJoker