Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 23

**rockernut** · December 31st, 2013, 12:54 AM

Many European countries are particularly associated with a certain vegetable.

For instance,
Ireland and the potato, France and the onion
and Germany with Michael Schumacher.

**sweatyhat** · December 31st, 2013, 11:41 AM

Time for Mohammedanism to get the treatment

What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
Nothing, yet.

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A pimp.

What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

What's the difference between ET and Muslims?
ET got the point and went home.

What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ of their country?
Allow Jews to come in.

What's the difference between Dar al-Islam and a pot of yogurt?
The yogurt has a living culture.

**rustler** · December 31st, 2013, 06:11 PM

I've heard that a third of all Ethiopians are Muslims.

So I reckon observing Ramadan won't be posing a problem for them then.

**sweatyhat** · December 31st, 2013, 10:19 PM

Just as we think the Celebrity Death List is all but over for 2013, Michael Schumacher puts in a tremendous final qualifying lap to take pole position.

I heard Michael Schumacher's former pit crew went to visit him.
They changed the wheels on his bed and drip in 11.4 seconds.

Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael schumacher's accident.
She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels.
I myself have been pretty fucked up after a faceful of snow."

Seriously: Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery

**rustler** · January 3rd, 2014, 11:24 AM

I've just realised why so many Jewish people died in the holocaust.............

The gas was free!

**sweatyhat** · January 3rd, 2014, 04:47 PM

That's the sixth seagull that has died after smashing into my bedroom window.
I think I should take down my hot dog poster.

BNP leader Nick Griffin has been declared bankrupt.
The one and only time in his life he wishes he was in the black.

**sweatyhat** · January 4th, 2014, 01:22 PM

Doctors are examining Michael Schumachers helmet for clues about his accident.

I thought he fell on his head?

MaxJoker · January 4th, 2014, 05:22 PM

Gran`s my biggest fan.

But i wish she wouldn't always make me sign her cnut.

Popular wisdom say`s that eating cheese gives you nightmares.

Pop wisdom is right.

As my dad used to make me eat his, and i still wake up screaming sometimes.

WinstonJoker (Second cousin) takes a girl home from a nightclub.

She says "Show me it's true what they say about all black guys".

So he stabs then rapes her and nicks her purse.

A Yiddish man is playing with a full ashtray in a pub.

When bar tender Hitler comes up and asks.

"Jew looking for someone ?".

**rustler** · January 6th, 2014, 06:56 AM

A pal of mine who is a totally loving and dedicated father said to me, "No matter what, my kids always come first."

"Same here!" I said, "well, not your daughter, that thing she does with her tongue on my cock usually sends me right over the edge"

MaxJoker · January 8th, 2014, 06:14 PM

Is it just me or are you fed up with those Africans complaining they have to walk up to 20 miles a day for water.

I mean what else is there for them to do ?.

Considering they decided picking cotton was beneath them.

Why do you never see a gay Jew ?.

Because they always want to get as far away from camp as possible.

First Schumacher.

Now Merkel.

Sheesh the Germans haven't been this unlucky around snow since Stalingrad.

December 31st, 2013, 11:41 AM	#222
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,913 Times in 10,563 Posts	Time for Mohammedanism to get the treatment What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common? Nothing, yet. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? A pimp. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire? At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty. What's the difference between ET and Muslims? ET got the point and went home. What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ of their country? Allow Jews to come in. What's the difference between Dar al-Islam and a pot of yogurt? The yogurt has a living culture. __________________

December 31st, 2013, 06:11 PM	#223
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I've heard that a third of all Ethiopians are Muslims. So I reckon observing Ramadan won't be posing a problem for them then. __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 31st, 2013, 10:19 PM	#224
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,913 Times in 10,563 Posts	Just as we think the Celebrity Death List is all but over for 2013, Michael Schumacher puts in a tremendous final qualifying lap to take pole position. I heard Michael Schumacher's former pit crew went to visit him. They changed the wheels on his bed and drip in 11.4 seconds. Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael schumacher's accident. She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I myself have been pretty fucked up after a faceful of snow." Seriously: Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery __________________

January 3rd, 2014, 11:24 AM	#225
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	I've just realised why so many Jewish people died in the holocaust............. The gas was free! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 3rd, 2014, 04:47 PM	#226
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,913 Times in 10,563 Posts	Cut 'n' paste plagiarism - Credit to the OPs That's the sixth seagull that has died after smashing into my bedroom window. I think I should take down my hot dog poster. BNP leader Nick Griffin has been declared bankrupt. The one and only time in his life he wishes he was in the black. __________________

December 31st, 2013, 12:54 AM	#221
rockernut Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 6,958 Thanks: 69,662 Thanked 73,321 Times in 6,969 Posts	Many European countries are particularly associated with a certain vegetable. For instance, Ireland and the potato, France and the onion and Germany with Michael Schumacher.

January 4th, 2014, 01:22 PM	#227
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,913 Times in 10,563 Posts	Doctors are examining Michael Schumachers helmet for clues about his accident. I thought he fell on his head? __________________

January 4th, 2014, 05:22 PM	#228
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Gran`s my biggest fan. But i wish she wouldn't always make me sign her cnut. Popular wisdom say`s that eating cheese gives you nightmares. Pop wisdom is right. As my dad used to make me eat his, and i still wake up screaming sometimes. WinstonJoker (Second cousin) takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about all black guys". So he stabs then rapes her and nicks her purse. A Yiddish man is playing with a full ashtray in a pub. When bar tender Hitler comes up and asks. "Jew looking for someone ?". __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 6th, 2014, 06:56 AM	#229
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	A pal of mine who is a totally loving and dedicated father said to me, "No matter what, my kids always come first." "Same here!" I said, "well, not your daughter, that thing she does with her tongue on my cock usually sends me right over the edge" __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 8th, 2014, 06:14 PM	#230
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	Is it just me or are you fed up with those Africans complaining they have to walk up to 20 miles a day for water. I mean what else is there for them to do ?. Considering they decided picking cotton was beneath them. Why do you never see a gay Jew ?. Because they always want to get as far away from camp as possible. First Schumacher. Now Merkel. Sheesh the Germans haven't been this unlucky around snow since Stalingrad. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.