Post your corny jokes - Page 1269

**ball7** · September 10th, 2017, 10:44 PM

If you ever go out with a schoolteacher,
You're in for a sensational night;
She'll make you do it over and over again
Until you do it right.
- Nipsey Rusell

**gedly** · September 11th, 2017, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain fanta

"I decided to have a map of Italy tattooed on my chest. Bad decision really, I ended up with incredibly sore Naples"

I bet getting a boot on your chest hurt as well!

**maildude** · September 11th, 2017, 10:57 PM

Struggling to make ends meet on a minister's salary, the pastor was angry when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this?!" he asked.

"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'"

"Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation? I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, 'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'"

captain fanta · September 14th, 2017, 07:32 PM

I've been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to shagging...

As I stripped off I said to her: "You must have seen a few cocks where you work? How do you rate mine?"

She said: "It's just slightly bigger than most I see"

I said: "ahhh thanks babe, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?"

"I'm a Midwife" she replied

**gedly** · September 14th, 2017, 10:19 PM

I once met the Sex Pistols in a car park. It was Pretty Vacant.

rigger67 · September 15th, 2017, 09:18 AM

Which artist painted "The Brown Finger" ??

Picassole

**gedly** · September 15th, 2017, 04:50 PM

I was at a job interview today. They asked, "Could you just clear up for us, how did you first start out? "Well, as a sperm and an egg", I replied.

**tygrkhat40** · September 16th, 2017, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I was at a job interview today. They asked, "Could you just clear up for us, how did you first start out?

"Well, I got a hold of one of my dad's Playboys..."

captain fanta · September 16th, 2017, 09:51 PM

I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day. Said to my Mrs "Let's have a game - I put one on and you try to guess what flavour it is."

She closed her eyes, went down on me under the duvet and said, "Cheesy Wotsits".

I said, "For fvck sake, give me time to put one on!"

dazza2 · September 17th, 2017, 12:58 PM

my mate appeared in Court for stealing hay stacks yesterday, he was lucky and got bailed......

Jeez that was awful pmsl

September 11th, 2017, 10:57 PM	#12683
maildude Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: In postal purgatory Posts: 760 Thanks: 1,162 Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts	Struggling to make ends meet on a minister's salary, the pastor was angry when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this?!" he asked. "I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'" "Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation? I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, 'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'" __________________ LET FREEDOM WAIT

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

September 10th, 2017, 10:44 PM	#12681
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,987 Times in 15,731 Posts	If you ever go out with a schoolteacher, You're in for a sensational night; She'll make you do it over and over again Until you do it right. - Nipsey Rusell

September 14th, 2017, 07:32 PM	#12684
captain fanta Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Thanks: 39,777 Thanked 1,012 Times in 75 Posts	I've been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to shagging... As I stripped off I said to her: "You must have seen a few cocks where you work? How do you rate mine?" She said: "It's just slightly bigger than most I see" I said: "ahhh thanks babe, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?" "I'm a Midwife" she replied

September 14th, 2017, 10:19 PM	#12685
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	I once met the Sex Pistols in a car park. It was Pretty Vacant.

September 15th, 2017, 09:18 AM	#12686
rigger67 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 72 Thanks: 191 Thanked 608 Times in 69 Posts	Which artist painted "The Brown Finger" ?? Picassole

September 15th, 2017, 04:50 PM	#12687
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	I was at a job interview today. They asked, "Could you just clear up for us, how did you first start out? "Well, as a sperm and an egg", I replied.

September 16th, 2017, 09:51 PM	#12689
captain fanta Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Thanks: 39,777 Thanked 1,012 Times in 75 Posts	I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day. Said to my Mrs "Let's have a game - I put one on and you try to guess what flavour it is." She closed her eyes, went down on me under the duvet and said, "Cheesy Wotsits". I said, "For fvck sake, give me time to put one on!"

September 17th, 2017, 12:58 PM	#12690
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	my mate appeared in Court for stealing hay stacks yesterday, he was lucky and got bailed...... Jeez that was awful pmsl