Post your corny jokes - Page 664

**electile disfunction** · August 18th, 2013, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

I've just been charged with stealing a submarine. The police say that the evidence against me is pretty watertight.

Don't worry; your attourney will prove your innocence. "Pretty" watertight means you probably would have drowned if you were the one who actually stole it.

e.d.

**Jeff Vader** · August 18th, 2013, 02:47 PM

The American government has admitted that Area 51 does exist.

I don't believe them.

**gedly** · August 18th, 2013, 03:07 PM

"You know, I'm pretty sure Marilyn Monroe is our landlady". "Don't be ridiculous", replied my flatmates Elvis Presley and John Lennon.

MaxJoker · August 18th, 2013, 03:13 PM

Answer = Christopher Walken.

Question - What did you never see again in the Reeve household after May 27, 1995.

**Jeff Vader** · August 18th, 2013, 03:35 PM

Another 'World's Oldest Man' has died.

This is beginning to look suspicious.

**Jeff Vader** · August 18th, 2013, 04:49 PM

My mate bought a foot-pump yesterday.
He now has the biggest feet in Britain

MaxJoker · August 19th, 2013, 04:35 PM

Guy goes into a dentists office.

Dentist says, what are you doing here ?.

Guy say`s , i think i`m a moth.

Dentist says , a moth ?, well i`d say you have mental problems and i suggest you go see a psychiatrist.

Guy says , I know.

Dentist says , you`re in a dentists office.

Guy says, I know.

Dentist says , Well then as i said , what are you doing here, why did come in here ?.

Guy says, the light was on.

**retroanalyst** · August 19th, 2013, 06:09 PM

After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me.

She said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

"Fair enough," I replied, groping her breasts.

**HugoHackenbush** · August 19th, 2013, 06:33 PM

What do you call a masturbating bull?

Beef stroken-off.

**gedly** · August 19th, 2013, 06:36 PM

My wife said to me "Do you know what it's like to have three tits?". "What, you've got three tits?" I asked . "Yeah", she replied , "Two on my chest and I'm married to the third".

August 18th, 2013, 02:47 PM	#6632
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	The American government has admitted that Area 51 does exist. I don't believe them. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

August 18th, 2013, 03:13 PM	#6634
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,902 Times in 69,067 Posts	Too soon ?. Answer = Christopher Walken. Question - What did you never see again in the Reeve household after May 27, 1995. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 18th, 2013, 03:35 PM	#6635
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	Another 'World's Oldest Man' has died. This is beginning to look suspicious. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

August 18th, 2013, 04:49 PM	#6636
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	My mate bought a foot-pump yesterday. He now has the biggest feet in Britain __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

August 19th, 2013, 04:35 PM	#6637
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,902 Times in 69,067 Posts	Guy goes into a dentists office. Dentist says, what are you doing here ?. Guy say`s , i think i`m a moth. Dentist says , a moth ?, well i`d say you have mental problems and i suggest you go see a psychiatrist. Guy says , I know. Dentist says , you`re in a dentists office. Guy says, I know. Dentist says , Well then as i said , what are you doing here, why did come in here ?. Guy says, the light was on. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 18th, 2013, 03:07 PM	#6633
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,906 Thanked 69,347 Times in 3,173 Posts	"You know, I'm pretty sure Marilyn Monroe is our landlady". "Don't be ridiculous", replied my flatmates Elvis Presley and John Lennon.

August 19th, 2013, 06:09 PM	#6638
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 122,083 Thanked 47,469 Times in 3,337 Posts	After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me. She said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." "Fair enough," I replied, groping her breasts. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

August 19th, 2013, 06:33 PM	#6639
HugoHackenbush Veteran Marxist Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever it's warm Posts: 14,166 Thanks: 206,115 Thanked 337,274 Times in 14,219 Posts	What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef stroken-off. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Just give me your body - I'll give you my brain - it's a fair exchange

August 19th, 2013, 06:36 PM	#6640
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,906 Thanked 69,347 Times in 3,173 Posts	My wife said to me "Do you know what it's like to have three tits?". "What, you've got three tits?" I asked . "Yeah", she replied , "Two on my chest and I'm married to the third".