Your 'stash' when you die :(

[old alal]

Originally Posted by DTravel

Yes.

Ok Dtravel, how do you password protect external hard drives?

[slaphead12]

Originally Posted by old alal

Ok Dtravel, how do you password protect external hard drives?

Truecrypt
"Free open-source disk encryption software for Windows 7/Vista/XP, Mac OS X, and Linux
Creates a virtual encrypted disk within a file and mounts it as a real disk.
Encrypts an entire partition or storage device such as USB flash drive or external hard drive.
Encryption is automatic, real-time (on-the-fly) and transparent."

Very good stuff. Just don’t lose your passwords

[dougz]

Years ago when I was heading off to college -- the summer of 1972 -- I had a fairly large collection of tabloids called the National (I think it was called national?) Spotlight and The National Closeup.

They were both available for 25 cents at sleazy convenience stores. The Spotlight featured 15 sexual stories a week about various sorts of things and was filled with dozens of photos of lower level models sort of acting out the story. (My guess is they bought the photos and wrote the stories from that)

The Closeup, however, was filled with insane and cruel and occasionally sexual stories. Beauty Queen Gives Birth to Monster Baby was one and I remember one about a teacher who taught nude.

Well, anyway, I had these things and I was worried what would happen if I got killed and my parents started looking through them, so I took them and dumped them into the back seat of a friend's car when he was at work.

It's not a solution for everyone, but it worked for me, then.

[Elvis16/03/14]

Originally Posted by dougz

Years ago when I was heading off to college -- the summer of 1972 -- I had a fairly large collection of tabloids called the National (I think it was called national?) Spotlight and The National Closeup.

They were both available for 25 cents at sleazy convenience stores. The Spotlight featured 15 sexual stories a week about various sorts of things and was filled with dozens of photos of lower level models sort of acting out the story. (My guess is they bought the photos and wrote the stories from that)

The Closeup, however, was filled with insane and cruel and occasionally sexual stories. Beauty Queen Gives Birth to Monster Baby was one and I remember one about a teacher who taught nude.

Well, anyway, I had these things and I was worried what would happen if I got killed and my parents started looking through them, so I took them and dumped them into the back seat of a friend's car when he was at work.

It's not a solution for everyone, but it worked for me, then.

Bet your mate was happy when he got stopped by the cops(nothing illegal officer).

[kylethoreau]

Originally Posted by dever32

What if that extreme does it for them?.

then I expect a thank you when i see them on the other side

[rustler]

A friend of mine passed away some years ago, just 33. He was a very heavy drinker, just beer, but a funny and friendly drinker - always. He was at home watching telly one night, porn of course! and simply passed away. His father said to me ,"What a way to go Deep Throat on the tv and a beer in his hand!"
They knew all about his huge stash, as he always had porn on the tv whenever they went round to see him.
Anyway, I was the only one, apart from his family, to go and see him in the Chapel of Rest. The lady there opened the coffin and left me....I stood there looking at him at rest, a pleasent smile on his face. Then I noticed his red T shirt, and gently pulling down the lace that covered him, I saw the wording on the T shirt : Please pardon whatever I do....I'm pissed! I stated to chuckle....... typical of him!
Then I looked down by his feet, and there was a pile of porno mags and dvds! His mum had put them in so he could have a read when he got wherever he was going!
He also had a saw, a hammer and a screwdriver, in case God wanted some shelves put up in Heaven when he got there! He was always doing little odd jobs to help old people. Anyway, at this I started laughing - not the usual thing when you are in a room alone with a body! The lady heard me and popped her head in to ask concernedly if I was alright. 'Fine, absolutely fine', says I. And so I was. That is how I remember him, with me standing there laughing. His porn went with him, well some of it anyway. His mum and dad gave the rest of it to a mutual friend who was into that stuff at the time.
As his dad said to me, 'what a way to go'!

Someone mentioned a 'porn buddy' some pages back, a friend who goes in first and rescues your stash before the loved ones find it. I was working in a large company and one Saturday morning one of the guys I knew was tragically killed. His young wife came and cleared out his locker. That got the guys thinking and they all paired up, so that in the event of any tragic events, their buddy would get there first and 'clean up a bit' if needed. Not a bad idea if the thought of that worries you......

Interesting thread!

[tsunamiSD]

Originally Posted by gbt42dd

My favorite nephew has agreed to take the porn computer and boxes of VHS, DVD and magazines out of the house. Many relatives have been promised things so it won't look too strange when he carts it out the door.

My niece is the executor of my estate and knows about my stuff (she used to borrow some of the 'classic' books that I had, like the three Anne Rice 'Beauty' novels she wrote under the pen name A.N. Roquelaure. There videos that I don't watch anymore that I wish I knew someone locally that I could give to instead of throwing out (can't exactly donate to the Goodwill, can I?)

[Wankbitch]

What a great thread.
When I was married to my first wife this issue worried me a lot. She was very puritanical and feminist in her views about porn and very much disapproved of anything, not just porn as such that she felt was stereotyping or degrading to women. She was also a rather flat chested (but attractive) girl and her lack of endowment bothered her greatly. None of this sat well with my lust for girls like Sarenna Lee and Kayla Kleevage and my colossal porn collection. This was in the days when everything was hard copy so I had to develop some imaginative strategies once we got married and lived together 24/7. I started off stripping my collection right down and storing it in my car. This worked for a while but the collection began to build up again quickly. Another problem was that the car was mid engined meaning that I had to hide the stuff in the front space under the bonnet. I was terrified that I would have some sort of front end collision while she was in the car with me one day, the front bumper would crumple, the hood would spring open and a fountain of issues of Score and D-Cup would explode into the air, a centrefold of Plenty Uptopp spreading her cunt open landing squarely on the widescreen in front of my wife's face. Luckily this never happened and I know it sounds funny now but it was a genuine fear so a new solution was required.

We moved house about 9 months after getting hitched into a place which needed renovation so I used that as an excuse to build a proper hiding space. To start with I had my stash hidden under the bath behind the side panel. I'd fashioned a long length of MDF which sat behind the panel about 5 inches under the bath which ran almost the length of the whole bath (This was the second line of defence just in case the side panel was breached for some reason) and the stash was behind this. However there were problems. Firstly I felt very vulnerable again knowing there was only a thin layer of fibreglass separating me from divorce and financial ruin, and secondly this was an old house and the area I'd chosen was spider central. Now I feel the same was about spiders that my ex wife did about porn and I wasn't keen on reaching into the darkness never knowing what I might find so I needed a new hiding space, somewhere that could be illuminated, somewhere that my wife would never go, somewhere where a large crate could be stored without suspicion: the loft obviously! So I bought a load of insulating material, clad the crate in it and attached it to the rear of the water tank so at a first glance it looked like just part of the machinery. Of course it would never stand up to close inspection but I couldn't foresee a situation where she would ever be examining the water tank in the loft so it was an acceptable risk. Then I filled the crate with mountains of glorious big boob porn!

After that it was simple, all it had to do was go up there after she'd gone out, selected what I wanted for the day, bring it down and enjoy myself. If she was at home I'd just go up to the loft and pleasure myself up there.

You may be thinking this doesn't sound like a heathy marriage and you'd be right, it was over within two years so once again hiding stuff ceased to be an issue. I swore that if I ever settled down again whoever it was with would just have to accept my desires as part of who I am because I didn't want a lifetime of building false machinery in attics or driving around at the speed of a senile old pensioner for fear of having an embarrassing car crash.

Now we finally get to the relevance to this thread!

I am married again now and my new wide is a totally different girl to my first. In fact she was even a glamour model for a while running her own website so I dint keep anything of my habit secret from her. These daisy it's all on memory sticks and an old lap top with nothing else but porn on it. I'm safe in the knowledge that if I snuff it at any point there's nothing she'll discover that will give her a nasty shock. As to what will happen to it if that happens, who knows? I think she'd probably just delete the lot, but either way it's something I don't need to fret about.

I appreciate not everyone reading this thread has a partner like that and if you don't, and you're already committed to her then you probably need to find someone you trust and have a fail safe plan. If however you're single right now I would strongly advocate settling down with someone you can be honest with from the start. I've done it the deceitful way and the honest way and the second is much easier and far less stressful.

[Wankbitch]

Originally Posted by E.S.Blowfeld

It looks like you want: http://www.truecrypt.org/

Use, e.g. http://www.leemon.com/crypto/MakePass.html to generate a safe pass-phrase.

Memorize these 12 words/4 nonsense words/whatever you chose; as soon as you kick the bucket, the data will be unusable. Encryption & throwing away the key is the industry standard of destroying data.

Move any data you want to hide to a hidden & encrypted partition. Copy the content of the CDs to this partition and microwave them for 10 seconds.

Then you can sleep better.

P.S. Keep encrypted backups, too.

A bit harsh isn't it? I mean just to avoid a little bit of post death embarrassment? I mean really, assume you're not doing anything illegal the worst that's gonna happen is someone might find out you had some sexual interests! It's hardly earth shattering news is it, even if those interests are a bit on the fruity side I'd suggest that unless you have some seriously sick illegal stuff you don't need to worry about microwaving your hard drive or whatever....of course if you are worried because your interests are that dodgy perhaps you should get some help now while you're alive?

[tittys n beer]

Great thread

Originally Posted by tmee2000

They could always go on my funeral pyre.

You could always have a Viking/Egyptian send off where all your worldly necessities go with you for use in the afterlife. But I don't know what Odin/Anubis would make of it if they came to collect you and found your undead ass cracking off for old times sake lol.

Originally Posted by reiver58

Another technique was to label the tapes with titles (or place inside boxes) that she would have absolutely no interest in viewing. I filled all my "Avengers" VHS boxes with porn. (The fact she wasn't interested in Steed, Mrs Peel or Tara King was also an indicator the marriage was doomed

I was going to suggest this (along with what eelcat said on the subject)
A great way to hide your collection in plain sight is label it as something nobody in their right mind would be interested in looking at.
I'm sure a lot of his have non porn related hobbies/interests that our spouses/families are sick and tired of hearing us go on about.
If it's all on your PC, put it in a folder within a folder within a folder and label the whole thing "Estonian Tractors Of The 1950s".
Put that in your real "Tractors - Eastern Europe" file, which lives in the "Tractors of mainland Europe - Vintage" file which lives in your "Tractors - Europe" file which lives in your "I love Tractors" folder, along with a ton of other tractor files..
If they take the time to find your stash after going through that little lot, it looks like you both didn't know the first thing about each other

Originally Posted by Dante970

What you need is a "porn buddy". Somebody you trust totally, who you give your key to, who will go to your home and remove all your porn in the event of your death.

I've often thought this would make a great business lol.
When you croak an email is sent from the hospital to my office and I dispatch a cleaner to your house

Originally Posted by mrpif

Went to a job interview (you can probably guess where this is going) don't have a printer so decided to copy my CV onto a little gig stick thing, presented it to my potential employer and the first question I got asked was, "all I can see is pictures of naked ladies, do you recognise them?"
My response went something like errrrrr....

Even though the rest of the interview was fairly positive I failed to follow up this job opportunity.

You, sir, are f*cking LEGEND

Originally Posted by rc_riddle

Why bother collecting porn at all?
I mean, in days of yore, porn was hard to come by and we hoarded it like it was gold dust. But now, there's tons of the stuff on the net, why the need to hoard it?

Have you no romance in your soul? lol
I've had some of my magazines that long I should be buying them anniversary gifts lol.


I'm lucky because my wife knows all about my stash, and enjoys it with me.
She's also a good few years younger than me, so chances are it'll be her problem, not mine

I sympathise with the guys who are worried about this though.
It's all well and good saying "i'll be dead, what's the problem?" but there's nothing wrong in wanting your memory untarnished, or to save our loved ones from unnecessary upset at what will naturally already be a very traumatic time.
There's a big stigma about porn for a big part of society, like it or not, that's the reality.

I don't think my brother would think too much about it, but it would hurt my sister and parents if they found out about it, and I'd avoid that if I could.

If this is something you are truly worried about, and you have nobody to clear out your stash when you pop your clogs, I'd seriously suggest this.........

1. Put everything you want to keep on 1 hard drive (or make a backup copy if you wish).

2. Dump, sell, give away, or burn EVERYTHING that's not on that hard drive.

3. Keep your hard drive (and any copy you may have made in the BIN.
If you want to, you can go to the trouble of having a special bin in the house that is full of stuff that isn't going to go off and start smelling. A cleaned out milk carton, an empty serial box, stuff like that.
Put your hard drive near the top under 1 or 2 layers of rubbish.

If you pop your clogs your grieving family will pop round to tidy up and set your affairs in order, and all they'll see is a full bin. What will they do? Tie the bin up and it goes in the trash along with all the evidence.
As long as you keep your computer history clean you should be well in the clear.

Only thing that can go wrong with that is if you shake off this mortal coil while engaged in enjoying your collection, and brother, there's nothing you or I can do about that

If you have a wife who doesn't know about your collection, having a stunt bin isn't really an option, but a wastepaper bin might work (as long as your wife doesn't empty it).

Oh, if you do this, use a STRONG bin liner. You don't want one of your kids carrying the rubbish out only to have the bag rip open and your little friend fall on the floor. That would make finding out what the contents are even more interesting.

To make doubly sure, you can also do what I said above about putting the file in a file in a file on the hard drive so if anybody did find it it would take a lot of digging before they find something you'd rather they didn't.

It's true that some happy dump wanderer might come across the hard drive in the tip, but it's not got your name on it, and even if it did, they're nothing to you, you're nothing to them, so it's not even worth consideration.
Especially if they rush home to see what they've got and find what appears to be 56825385237 images of tractors of the world lol.

Simple, and pretty much guaranteed.
Might hurt to lose your physical collection, but peace of mind is more than compensation for that