Post your corny jokes - Page 1391

Katiedog · October 3rd, 2018, 04:14 AM

Q) What would you call a
Punch-Drunk Japanese man with a Diarrhetic Crazed father?

A) A Slap Happy Jappy with a Crap Happy Pappy.......

Katiedog · October 3rd, 2018, 04:31 AM

Q) Who is the Irish Gal who stays out all night and sleeps with anyone ?

A) Patty O'Furniture..........

MaxJoker · October 3rd, 2018, 10:52 AM

If had to describe myself in three words would say ,

Not very good at maths.

**Silklover** · October 4th, 2018, 07:54 AM

**mrfixit** · October 4th, 2018, 03:45 PM

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”, I just lost it.
“CASE DISMISSED!!”

**trailmaster** · October 4th, 2018, 09:45 PM

Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box. Such a pity it was a puppy!

Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she swallows.

I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming.

**Silklover** · October 5th, 2018, 08:57 AM

My computer doesn´t allow me to watch the pics here. :-/

**Silklover** · October 5th, 2018, 10:56 AM

**trailmaster** · October 5th, 2018, 01:10 PM

What's the difference between a gay and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your sausage.

Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China?
Everybody won.

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
Bit of both, this is a rape.

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop wanking.
When I asked why, she said, "because I'm trying to examine you!"

October 3rd, 2018, 03:08 AM	#13901
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

October 3rd, 2018, 04:14 AM	#13902
Katiedog Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Berkeley Ca Posts: 215 Thanks: 1,313 Thanked 8,943 Times in 218 Posts	~S.H.J.w.a.C.H.P.~ Q) What would you call a Punch-Drunk Japanese man with a Diarrhetic Crazed father? A) A Slap Happy Jappy with a Crap Happy Pappy.......

October 3rd, 2018, 04:31 AM	#13903
Katiedog Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Berkeley Ca Posts: 215 Thanks: 1,313 Thanked 8,943 Times in 218 Posts	Non Offensive Irish Joke Q) Who is the Irish Gal who stays out all night and sleeps with anyone ? A) Patty O'Furniture..........

October 3rd, 2018, 10:52 AM	#13904
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,580 Times in 69,067 Posts	If had to describe myself in three words would say , Not very good at maths. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 4th, 2018, 07:54 AM	#13905
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,819 Times in 1,241 Posts	Not envying the woman Last edited by Silklover; October 4th, 2018 at 08:36 AM.. Reason: Easier than reuploading

October 4th, 2018, 03:45 PM	#13906
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”, I just lost it. “CASE DISMISSED!!” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

October 4th, 2018, 09:45 PM	#13907
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box. Such a pity it was a puppy! Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one. How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she swallows. I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming.

October 5th, 2018, 08:57 AM	#13908
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,819 Times in 1,241 Posts	My computer doesn´t allow me to watch the pics here. :-/

October 5th, 2018, 10:56 AM	#13909
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,819 Times in 1,241 Posts	Two in the case anybody needs an extra ;)

October 5th, 2018, 01:10 PM	#13910
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	What's the difference between a gay and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your sausage. Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China? Everybody won. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Bit of both, this is a rape. I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why, she said, "because I'm trying to examine you!"