|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar |
General Discussion & News Want to speak your mind about something ... do it here. |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
March 7th, 2011, 05:43 AM | #1021 |
No longer active
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Suicide Alley
Posts: 2,797
Thanks: 27,507
Thanked 61,947 Times in 2,770 Posts
|
Someone just sent me these... they are actual quotations taken from court transcripts, quoted from the book "Disorder in the American Courts".
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? >> WITNESS: **July 18th. >> ATTORNEY: What year? >> WITNESS: **Every year. >> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? >> WITNESS: **Gucci sweats and Reeboks. >> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? >> WITNESS: **Yes. >> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? >> WITNESS: **I forget. >> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? >> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? >> WITNESS: **Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. >> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? >> WITNESS: **Forty-five years. >> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? >> WITNESS: **He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" >> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? >> WITNESS: **My name is Susan. >> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? >> WITNESS: **We both do. >> ATTORNEY: Voodoo? >> WITNESS: **We do. >> ATTORNEY: You do? >> WITNESS: **Yes, voodoo. >> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? >> WITNESS: **Did you actually pass the bar exam? >> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? >> WITNESS: **Uh, he's twenty-one. >> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? >> WITNESS: **Would you repeat the question? >> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? >> WITNESS: **Yes. >> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? >> WITNESS: **Uh.... >> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? >> WITNESS: **Yes. >> ATTORNEY: How many were boys? >> WITNESS: **None. >> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? >> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? >> WITNESS: **By death. >> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? >> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? >> WITNESS: **He was about medium height and had a beard. >> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? >> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? >> WITNESS: **No, this is how I dress when I go to work. >> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? >> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. >> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? >> WITNESS: **Oral. >> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? >> WITNESS: **The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. >> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? >> WITNESS: **No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! >> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? >> WITNESS: **Huh? >> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? >> WITNESS: **No. >> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? >> WITNESS: **No. >> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? >> WITNESS: **No. >> ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? >> WITNESS: **No. >> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? >> WITNESS: **Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. >> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? >> WITNESS: **Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to GailFan For This Useful Post: |
March 7th, 2011, 10:02 AM | #1022 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Spain - Costa Blanca
Posts: 811
Thanks: 10,238
Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts
|
Socrates
“The man who persuades you to lend him money or goods and then keeps them is without doubt a rogue; but much the greatest rogue of all is the man who has gulled his city into the belief that he is fit to direct it.”
“Do you think there is anything more unusual than to find a very large or a very small man, or dog, or other creature, or again, one that is very quick or slow, very ugly or beautiful, very black or white? Have you not noticed that the extremes in all these instances are rare and few, and the examples between the extremes are very many?” “And don't you think,” said he, “that if there were to be a competition in rascality, those who excelled would be very few in that also?”
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Clouddancer For This Useful Post: |
March 7th, 2011, 11:59 AM | #1023 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,581 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
Two fakes and one true , mostly as i felt that`s what i wanted to do
" I should have been less left wing " - Adolf Hitler (30th April 1945)
" I`d like to reimburse the nation for selling their gold reserves without their permission and when the market was at it`s lowest " - Gordon Brown (This morning while being rightly tortured) "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice " - Bill Cosby
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
March 9th, 2011, 12:23 AM | #1024 |
An Old Salt
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 8,094
Thanks: 71,674
Thanked 279,551 Times in 8,086 Posts
|
Clint Eastwood, in "The Outlaw Josey Wales"
Bounty hunter: "I'm looking for a man named Josey Wales." Eastwood: "That'd be me. You a bounty hunter?" Bounty hunter; "A man's gotta do somethin' for a living." Eastwood: "Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy!" |
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to Navvet For This Useful Post: |
March 11th, 2011, 05:31 AM | #1025 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 149
Thanks: 1,535
Thanked 2,211 Times in 282 Posts
|
Howard Hughes- 'Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints. Show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints... show me all the blueprints...'
|
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Sandy Claws For This Useful Post: |
March 11th, 2011, 05:30 PM | #1026 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,144
Thanks: 772,791
Thanked 855,865 Times in 57,575 Posts
|
Bitches Leave-Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith)Robocop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GPPe...eature=related
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Mal Hombre For This Useful Post: |
March 12th, 2011, 04:44 PM | #1027 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Spain - Costa Blanca
Posts: 811
Thanks: 10,238
Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts
|
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." — Anaïs Nin "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." — Confucius
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner. |
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to Clouddancer For This Useful Post: |
March 12th, 2011, 05:17 PM | #1028 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,581 Times in 69,067 Posts
|
" You know that look women get when they want sex ? , Me neither ! "
--- Drew Carey " A girl's legs are her best friends, but even the best of friends must eventually part " --- Redd Foxx " Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them " --- Steve Martin
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: |
March 12th, 2011, 05:26 PM | #1029 |
El Super Moderador
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger
Posts: 58,144
Thanks: 772,791
Thanked 855,865 Times in 57,575 Posts
|
We have such sights to show You ! -Lead Cenobite, Doug Bradley
Hellraiser. also a good motto for this forum
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to Mal Hombre For This Useful Post: |
March 12th, 2011, 05:44 PM | #1030 |
Former Staff
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,579
Thanks: 452,836
Thanked 222,658 Times in 16,567 Posts
|
Stalin, hearing that Politburo-man Sergo Ordzhonikidze had suicided by shooting himself in the chest, had a literal way to explain it:
"This must be reported in the press. We'll say he had a heart attack" |
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to palo5 For This Useful Post: |
|
|