poems to make you smile

**mrfixit** · March 7th, 2010, 08:31 AM

Time for all you poets out there to flex your mental muscle.Find or write some poems that will make us laugh,smile or just make us think till our brain hurts

.I hope this is the right section for this.

Here are my first two contributions.

THE SITTER
Mrs. McTwitter the baby-sitter,
I think she's a little bit crazey.
She thinks a baby-sitter's supposed
To sit upon the baby.

PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break.
So none of the other kids can use'em...
Amen.

**mrfixit** · March 8th, 2010, 09:27 AM

MEMORIZIN' MO
Mo memorized the dictionary
But just can't seem to find a job
Or anyone who wants to marry
Someone who memorized the dictonary.

SOMEYHING MISSING
I remember I put on my socks
I remember I put on my shoes
I remember I put on my tie
I remember I put on my coat
To look perfectly grand at the dance
Yet I feel there is something
I may have forgot...
What is it?What is it?...

**mrfixit** · March 9th, 2010, 10:27 AM

WAVY HAIR
I thought that I had wavy hair
Until I shaved.Instead,
I find that I have straight hair
And a very wavy head.

UNSCRATCHABLE ITCH
There is a spot that you can't scratch
Right between your shoulder blades,
Like an egg that just won't hatch
Here you set and there it stays.
Turn and squirm and try to reach it,
Twist your neck and bend your back,
Hear your elbows creak and crack,
Streach your fingers,
Now you bet it's going to reach.
No that won't get it.
Hold your breath and streach and pray,
Only an inch away,
Worse than a sunbeam you can't catch
Is that one spot,
You can't scratch.

**Clouddancer** · March 9th, 2010, 10:43 AM

When we're nose to nose, my toes are in it
When we're toes to toes my nose is in it
& when I'm in it I have no one to talk to.

**Clouddancer** · March 9th, 2010, 10:51 AM

I wandered lonely as a cloud
Just picking up old rags and bottles,
when on the lonely road I trod
I came upon some axolotls.
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
A sight to make a man's blood freeze.

Some had handles, some were plain-
they were orange, pink, and green, in the main.
My hair stood up, my blood ran cold.
I fled with fear upon my soul.
I find my solace now in bottles, and I forget them axolotls.

**Clouddancer** · March 9th, 2010, 11:02 AM

Once I'm in my bubble bath
I like to stir up more.
Half the suds go in my eyes
And half go on the floor.

The fun is in the bubbles 'cause
They giggle on my skin,
And when I stick them on my face
They dangle from my chin.

And when I splash them hard enough
They pop and disappear,
And then my bath time's over 'cause
I've made the water clear.

**mrfixit** · March 10th, 2010, 12:14 PM

MUSICAL CAREER
She wanted to play the piano,
But her hands couldn't reach the keys.
When her hands could finally reach the keys,
Her feet couldn't reach the floor.
When her hands could finally reach the keys,
And her feet could reach the floor,
She didn't want to play that ol' piano anymore.

ANTEATER
"A genuine anteater,"
The pet man told my dad.
Turned out,it was an aunt eater,
And now my uncle's mad.

**Mal Hombre** · March 12th, 2010, 09:34 PM

Never mind the love and passion
Whop it up 'er doggie fashion

**mrfixit** · March 13th, 2010, 06:34 AM

ROCKABYE
Rockabye baby,in the treetop.
Don't you know a treetop
Is no safe place to rock?
And who put you up there,
And your cradle too?
Baby,I think someone down here's
Got it in for you.

THE LITTLE BOY AND THE OLD MAN
Said the little boy,"Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the little old man,"I do that too."
The little boy whispered,"I wet my pants."
"I do that too,"laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy,"I often cry."
The old man nodded,"So do I."
"But worst of all,"said the boy,"it seems
Grown-ups don't pay any attention to me."
And he felt the wormth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean,"said the little old man.

**Mal Hombre** · March 13th, 2010, 11:06 AM

The wibbly wobbly men
Get out of bed at ten
They run about and give a shout
And go back to bed again
Spike Milligan

March 7th, 2010, 08:31 AM	#1
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	poems to make you smile Time for all you poets out there to flex your mental muscle.Find or write some poems that will make us laugh,smile or just make us think till our brain hurts .I hope this is the right section for this. Here are my first two contributions. THE SITTER Mrs. McTwitter the baby-sitter, I think she's a little bit crazey. She thinks a baby-sitter's supposed To sit upon the baby. PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break. So none of the other kids can use'em... Amen. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 8th, 2010, 09:27 AM	#2
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	MEMORIZIN' MO Mo memorized the dictionary But just can't seem to find a job Or anyone who wants to marry Someone who memorized the dictonary. SOMEYHING MISSING I remember I put on my socks I remember I put on my shoes I remember I put on my tie I remember I put on my coat To look perfectly grand at the dance Yet I feel there is something I may have forgot... What is it?What is it?... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 9th, 2010, 10:27 AM	#3
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	WAVY HAIR I thought that I had wavy hair Until I shaved.Instead, I find that I have straight hair And a very wavy head. UNSCRATCHABLE ITCH There is a spot that you can't scratch Right between your shoulder blades, Like an egg that just won't hatch Here you set and there it stays. Turn and squirm and try to reach it, Twist your neck and bend your back, Hear your elbows creak and crack, Streach your fingers, Now you bet it's going to reach. No that won't get it. Hold your breath and streach and pray, Only an inch away, Worse than a sunbeam you can't catch Is that one spot, You can't scratch. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 9th, 2010, 10:43 AM	#4
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,623 Times in 809 Posts	The Dwarf & The Tall Woman When we're nose to nose, my toes are in it When we're toes to toes my nose is in it & when I'm in it I have no one to talk to. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

March 9th, 2010, 10:51 AM	#5
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,623 Times in 809 Posts	The Axolotl I wandered lonely as a cloud Just picking up old rags and bottles, when on the lonely road I trod I came upon some axolotls. Beside the lake, beneath the trees, A sight to make a man's blood freeze. Some had handles, some were plain- they were orange, pink, and green, in the main. My hair stood up, my blood ran cold. I fled with fear upon my soul. I find my solace now in bottles, and I forget them axolotls. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

March 9th, 2010, 11:02 AM	#6
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,623 Times in 809 Posts	Bubble bath Once I'm in my bubble bath I like to stir up more. Half the suds go in my eyes And half go on the floor. The fun is in the bubbles 'cause They giggle on my skin, And when I stick them on my face They dangle from my chin. And when I splash them hard enough They pop and disappear, And then my bath time's over 'cause I've made the water clear. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

March 10th, 2010, 12:14 PM	#7
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	MUSICAL CAREER She wanted to play the piano, But her hands couldn't reach the keys. When her hands could finally reach the keys, Her feet couldn't reach the floor. When her hands could finally reach the keys, And her feet could reach the floor, She didn't want to play that ol' piano anymore. ANTEATER "A genuine anteater," The pet man told my dad. Turned out,it was an aunt eater, And now my uncle's mad. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 12th, 2010, 09:34 PM	#8
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,694 Times in 57,565 Posts	Never mind the love and passion Whop it up 'er doggie fashion __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 13th, 2010, 06:34 AM	#9
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	ROCKABYE Rockabye baby,in the treetop. Don't you know a treetop Is no safe place to rock? And who put you up there, And your cradle too? Baby,I think someone down here's Got it in for you. THE LITTLE BOY AND THE OLD MAN Said the little boy,"Sometimes I drop my spoon." Said the little old man,"I do that too." The little boy whispered,"I wet my pants." "I do that too,"laughed the little old man. Said the little boy,"I often cry." The old man nodded,"So do I." "But worst of all,"said the boy,"it seems Grown-ups don't pay any attention to me." And he felt the wormth of a wrinkled old hand. "I know what you mean,"said the little old man. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 13th, 2010, 11:06 AM	#10
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,694 Times in 57,565 Posts	The wibbly wobbly men Get out of bed at ten They run about and give a shout And go back to bed again Spike Milligan __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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