Approaching someone for sex-how?

[anklebiter]

This comes from a thread on our wives lesbian affairs.I stated there that my wife has had a handful of encounters with other women.Actually, quite a bit of sex with only two other girls. In both cases, the other women made the first move.
She likes it, and twice has made the first move on other women, but neither went that way, and my wife was pretty embarrassed.
I know she wants more encounters, and she'd never do it with a stranger- the swinger or bar scene is not her way.She's a nurse, and there's always another nurse, or sexy nurses aid she says she'd like to hook up with, but she'd never risk it at work.

So, my question is simple; those of you who swing, or who have wives like mine- how do you approach someone without offending or freaking them out?
How does she say she's happily married, but would like another woman for sex?

[froggi3]

Do you want to join in or watch? It may be that women she knows realize that she is married and don't want a male as part of the equation. Your wife should join an online dating site and get to know someone over several weeks or months, exchanging pictures and getting to know them. That's how my girlfriend and I have had initiated things....you wouldn't believe the women who are into that sort of thing these days.

[anklebiter]

I don't need to join, but I prefer to watch.If it came down to it though, I'd set her free with no interference at all.TBH, we're a long time married couple and whoever knows her, knows us.She's been with women in the same situation, and is usually interested in the same.
She's not looking for a relationship, just to 'get with' some of the ladies she knows and feels comfortable with, and they're usually the same as her; married, cool, pre3tty.I trust my wife is happy in her life, but she's got a playful side she's having a hard time indulging.

[Gbnf]

I suppose it's another thing for a woman to post on these types of sites, but for me, it was a waste of a year of my life.
Doubtless there are genuine people there, but they are also plagued with others who are quite unsure of themselves and what they want.
I've had many girls lie to me about their physical appearance and even met with some and had to act the gentleman, all the while thinking of how to get out of the situation.
I also think that while there are normal people there for a bit of excitement, there are also those who take these types of things very seriously - so seriously, in fact, that they have made a career of it.

Not for this post now, but one time, I was almost threatened by a couple that REALLY wanted me to avail myself of their 'services.'

(Also throw in a fair amount of sex-addicted humans for good measure).
I've decided to let things happen without the interference of the all-powerful internet in these matters.

[froggi3]

bmg, your right, it is a little different when a female is seeking a female, My girlfriend has never met anyone that has not turned out to be genuine. The problem is that people rush into this, we spoke to a woman for 6 months before we met her and believe me it was mind-blowing when we got down to it. bmg, I agree with what you say about people who are unsure of themselves and what they want; those are the types to stay away from and can be recognized after a first time meeting.

The parties involved must make it clear BEFOREHAND that they are who they say they are, be honest and say that you won't get involved if any misrepresentation is present.
As far as sex addiction goes, there are many different definitions of that term, if it really does exist. As long as a person is careful about crazies and STD's, I think it's fine.

[MaxJoker]

This might be showing my age somewhat , but i`ve always found you can never go wrong with Chloroform

[sweatyhat]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

This might be showing my age somewhat , but i`ve always found you can never go wrong with Chloroform

Call me old fashioned, but a mask, a cape and a cosh usually gets the ladies swooning.

Seriously though. Selecting partners from amongst work colleagues is a bad idea. My wife became friendly with a lady at work who ended up spending a lot of time at our house. It all ended when she made a pass at totally heterosexual wifey who was just not that way inclined.

I managed to hide my disappointment.

[9876543210]

anklebiter,

Originally Posted by anklebiter

So, my question is simple; those of you who swing, or who have wives like mine- how do you approach someone without offending or freaking them out?

Man, how did I miss this thread?

Very carefully! I think most all of us can tell when someone is hitting on us. If your interested you'll respond positively and all will have a good time. If they aren't interested their body language and attitude should indicate that as well (time to move on). The problem comes from those who aren't initially sure. Those you have to play with a bit longer to see where things will go (if anywhere). It may have been a while but you remember this stuff from the old dating days. It hasn't changed a bit. Only the target has changed.

You mentioned it, so have you actually tried a local (or regional) swing club? They're usually a really good group of people who understand the situation, have dealt with it many times before, and are willing to work with anyone that isn't a complete boor. I had the same problem with an ex and found this to be the best, and safest, answer.

We tried BBSs years ago and had some luck, but more problems. The swing club is definitely the way to go.

How does she say she's happily married, but would like another woman for sex?

Another reason for the swing club. The great thing about the people in the club is they recognize what they want and are honest enough to have shared that with their spouse. The key word here being HONESTY. Once you've reached that point you'd be amazed at what the two of you can do.

My ex also enjoyed being with women occasionally and I loved watching her and a lover. We also had an agreement that, if I couldn't be there, it was OK for her to be with another woman as long as she told me all about it afterwards. That was always a ton of fun.

But my favorite, still to this day, was watching her being taken by two (or more) men. Amazing experience for the both of us.

So I guess the long and short of your question is to be very careful about acquaintances (I probably wouldn't do it with someone in the job setting) and try a swing club first. I think that will work out for the best.

[vo1v0d]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

This might be showing my age somewhat , but i`ve always found you can never go wrong with Chloroform

I told you to knock that shit off; you know it always gives me a headache

[Brecht]

Well, make sure you got some change in your pockets. That's the oldest method as far as I remember. But you could put your zoot suit on and see what happens. What do you have to lose anyway?