Jealousy - Page 2

spoonfedmonkey · February 14th, 2013, 04:24 AM

I suppose the consensus is that I should talk to a therapist. Good idea.

To some of the questions asked: it's completely irrational, and I don't really understand it or where it comes from. Am I consciously worried about not measuring up? No. I'm pretty sure she also feels that I'm the best thing ever to happen to her before.

Again, I suppose it's therapy time.

Thanks, all.

**footstep** · February 14th, 2013, 06:30 AM

Trust in you!That's the key.Therapist will cost you money....

**ConstantOgler** · February 15th, 2013, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by palo5

Not logical to be jealous

Jealous is when someone else has what you think should be yours. So if you have the woman, you can't be jealous

I can't agree w/ this, & it ties to usage of jealousy vs. envy, often confused.

I would say it is perfectly logical, almost predictable, for one newly in this position to have issues of JEALOUSY. Because, you think, if other men see her as I do, they will be ENVIOUS.

Original (uncorrupted) meaning of jealousy always involves affection or interest, which the jealous one wants 100% for him/her self. Envy is wanting for yourself a thing, or person, that someone else has, or its =.

Othello had the woman, but was jealous, fearing her affection had strayed. Meantime Iago was envious of all that Othello had.

spoonfedmonkey. if there is no Iago around (M or F), you should be OK.
Hey, there are some new downsides, even to the best things in life.

**ConstantOgler** · February 15th, 2013, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBombastic

I think it stems from not being comfortable with who you are, that you feel you are somehow lacking whatever someone else has.

Yes, and who is 100% secure? Especially in this sit.. The woman has been raised to a pedestal (at least to start). You almost have to be an ego-maniac not to feel challenged. Also, her loyalty mostly unknown, but you do know how other men think -- or you think you do.
btw, Othello, for all his achievements, had never forgot his race. There is always something . . . .

**palo5** · February 15th, 2013, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConstantOgler

I can't agree w/ this, & it ties to usage of jealousy vs. envy, often confused.
...

Hahaha!

I'm not confusing jealousy with envy. I don't think it's jealousy because the other guy(s) are showing no signs of wanting to take her away. Envy has nothing to do with it

**9876543210** · February 15th, 2013, 03:03 PM

Although the jealousy v. envy debate is interesting I don't think its important here. What is important is that the guy has found a woman he's really interested in and wants to spend some time with (not that easy nowadays as MisterMacky has wondered). But jealousy has raised its ugly head and he needs to face it and conquer it in whatever way works for him. Good women are hard to find so when you find one hold on to her.

What we don't want is another murder of a woman by a jealous beau. Happens every day and all too often. Spend a few bucks on counseling. Much cheaper in the short and long run.

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February 14th, 2013, 04:24 AM	#11
spoonfedmonkey Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 186 Thanks: 2,292 Thanked 1,948 Times in 178 Posts	I suppose the consensus is that I should talk to a therapist. Good idea. To some of the questions asked: it's completely irrational, and I don't really understand it or where it comes from. Am I consciously worried about not measuring up? No. I'm pretty sure she also feels that I'm the best thing ever to happen to her before. Again, I suppose it's therapy time. Thanks, all.

February 14th, 2013, 06:30 AM	#12
footstep Lost luggages? Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: France Posts: 7,268 Thanks: 92,097 Thanked 86,747 Times in 7,170 Posts	Trust in you!That's the key.Therapist will cost you money....

February 15th, 2013, 03:03 PM	#16
9876543210 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 4,044 Thanks: 24,638 Thanked 34,288 Times in 4,008 Posts	Although the jealousy v. envy debate is interesting I don't think its important here. What is important is that the guy has found a woman he's really interested in and wants to spend some time with (not that easy nowadays as MisterMacky has wondered). But jealousy has raised its ugly head and he needs to face it and conquer it in whatever way works for him. Good women are hard to find so when you find one hold on to her. What we don't want is another murder of a woman by a jealous beau. Happens every day and all too often. Spend a few bucks on counseling. Much cheaper in the short and long run.