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Old 05-20-2017, 09:31 PM   #12531
ruffroundedges
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Default If you smack em with your gloves on the ref only sees them dropping the gloves.;)

You know your Canadian when you cock a fist at the words "Wanna Go????"
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Old 05-21-2017, 11:29 AM   #12532
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This is my 30th Roman Numeral joke. It may have XXX content.

I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman Numerals. I'm LIVID.

Last edited by bp666; 05-21-2017 at 11:30 AM.. Reason: sp
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Old 05-21-2017, 11:31 AM   #12533
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I can't work my wife out. She left a note on the refrigerator saying "This isn't working. Goodbye".

I opened it and it was working just fine!
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Old 05-21-2017, 08:31 PM   #12534
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At any given time, the urge to sing "The lion sleeps tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
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Old 05-22-2017, 04:38 PM   #12535
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My granddad has the heart of a lion ,

Plus now a lifetime ban from our local Zoo .



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Old 05-22-2017, 07:08 PM   #12536
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Just heard that the rock band "Dislexia" has agreed to finally release their last album.
After much debate, they have decided to name the album "Our Greatest Shit"
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Old 05-22-2017, 08:51 PM   #12537
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My girlfriend and I are trying to compile a list of songs by The Carpenters.

We've only just begin.
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Old 05-22-2017, 09:13 PM   #12538
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- The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stockmarket, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way you do,"responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen. "Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!" "No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long. "Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow...." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull,his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?" "It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
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Old 05-22-2017, 10:55 PM   #12539
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Question ....What's the difference between an Airfix set and Jeremy Corbin?
Answer ....The Airfix set is a glueless kit.
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Old 05-22-2017, 11:19 PM   #12540
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Autistic kids rock.
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