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Old 09-22-2013, 04:59 PM   #11
MaxJoker
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These Syrian chemical weapons are really getting on peoples nerves.


Could this day get any worse ?
First my ex got hit by a bus mounting the curb , which backs over her while she screamingly clings to life , and yet brutally mounts the pavement again aiming for her head.
Then i lose my job at Stagecoach !



I woke up this morning thinking i'd had a wet dream.

I hadn't, my Siamese twin had just finished wanking.
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:08 PM   #12
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What's the difference between The British Museum and My garage ?
The British Museum isn't full of dead hookers...
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 09-22-2013, 06:03 PM   #13
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"You remember when you were giving birth" I said to my wife, "and you were screaming and shouting and saying we'd never have sex again ?"

"Yes" she responded, sheepishly.

"Did you mean it ?"


"Of course not, silly" she replied.

"Good " i said, climbing onto the bed. "So ... if i just move this afterbirth a little to the left and you spread those legs a bit wider..."
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Old 09-23-2013, 01:57 PM   #14
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Unhappy I'm going too hell

A husband and wife are lying in bed just talkin' about love, God, sex.

The husband just wants too fuck , but as usual the wife tries too turn it into a love thing

She makes a statement that marriage is a heavenly institution and God watches married couples having sex.

So the husband, confused, repeats and asks "God watches married people having sex ?"

The wife replies, "Well, God watches everything"

The husband replies, "So we're just porn for God, he watches us and jerks off"
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Old 09-24-2013, 10:15 AM   #15
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Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

A: Slow down and use a lubricant.

(Taken from Score Magazine).
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Old 09-25-2013, 12:19 AM   #16
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Twisted jokes that will send us ALL to hell? What if we don't go on this thread...oh crap.
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Old 09-25-2013, 12:31 AM   #17
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Wink OK, I have to tell this one here - Never forget, It's all smoke & mirrors fellas

Why do women wear make-up & perfume?

Because they're ugly & they smell





Last edited by NIN; 09-25-2013 at 10:57 AM..
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:37 AM   #18
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Why do women have legs?
So They don't leave a trail like a snail....
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Old 09-25-2013, 12:50 PM   #19
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Officials have now confirmed that one thousand and seventy three people died during a recent factory fire in Pakistan.




The relatives of both families have asked to be allowed to grieve in private.
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Old 09-25-2013, 02:42 PM   #20
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My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records... till the librarian kicked me out.
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