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Old 04-07-2017, 10:44 PM   #1221
seany65
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Saw rik mayall do this in a yuotube clip earlier:


Why did the pervert cross the road?



'cos he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.
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Old 04-12-2017, 02:51 PM   #1222
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What do you say if your three year old niece accidentally slips the tongue in when you`re kissing her goodbye,
You don't say anything,
You just try to hide the erection.

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Old 04-16-2017, 02:03 AM   #1223
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Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?

Dad: Caus your Mom loves Easter. It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks Dad.

Dad: No Problem Alan.
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Old 05-07-2017, 04:09 PM   #1224
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Red face Hey , I`m being made to post this by Greenman at gun point , honest !

I say we should all embrace that Michael Jackson song,
As it doesn't matter if you're black or white ,
Unless of course you're black.

Do you know what pisses me off most about Africans ,
They`re always grumbling about having to run miles to get water,
Yet never thank us ,
Every time they win Marathons.


See Boko Haram have released 82 of the girls they kidnapped three years ago,
Hardly surprising really ,
Given they'll be screwing all the children they had with them by now.




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Old 05-07-2017, 04:25 PM   #1225
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- It's ok to ask a guy how many inches his penis is But it gets weird when you ask the diameter of a girls vagina

- I love cooking children and dogs...but I hate using commas.

- My Wife: My gynaecologist says I can't have sex for a month. Me: Well, what did your proctologist say?

- Saw the wife at the bank today, not good news. I was hoping she'd wash further downriver.

- I keep making racist jokes about my Dad and his Thai bride. He finds it really annoying... And so does my dad.

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Old 05-08-2017, 03:55 PM   #1226
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What are the similarities between a Jew and a stiff nipple ? ,

They both disappear after a shower.


Want to know how to kill a hundred flies at once ? ,

Smash an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.


What’s the difference between a Priest and acne ? ,

Acne doesn’t come on a boys face until after he’s thirteen.


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Old 05-18-2017, 08:40 PM   #1227
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The wife got me some of that Bishop's finger ale.

"I'm not drinking that" I said, it's probably been up a choir boys arse.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:41 AM   #1228
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Exclamation

Why did so many Jews go to Auschwitz ?,

The fare was free.

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Old 06-15-2017, 01:13 AM   #1229
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Microwave - A hand gesture used by a midget to say hello.
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