What if you lived in Australia?

[palo5]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

You need a ball and chain ,ie sheila, ie, girlfriend, so meet Shaz or Shazza (Sharon)

Thanks, Comrade. Do you have any more?

Btw, I have noticed you are in business, so I am donating to you a top negotiator from our country so you always get the best results

As you can see, his smile is persuasive

[RjG57]

As Estreeter has given you Aussie citizenship a quick induction into Aussie do's and don'ts.

This is our flag.......to be waved at the appropriate events and holidays, not to be burnt or pi*sed on.

Our national icons.
The Opera House & the Bridge........No other description is necessary
Beer......................drink your fill but don't forget to shout your mates
The Rock..................Uluru to the real locals (aborigines)

Do enjoy the wildlife.
Sheilas........no guidance required
Roo............good to eat or feed the dog with
Koala.......nice to look at

Avoid the following
white pointer shark..............
The word comrade is to be replaced with the word mate.....pronounced mayte.

[Estreeter]

I was in a roadhouse today, being a pig as usual .

One of the things I find funny is watching foreign tourists who are not quite used to our way of life, habits or whatever.

While waiting to get served, I watched a tourist, sounded German to me, he was looking at what he wanted to eat.

He looked at something, and asked what it was, so the lady serving told him
"it's a Chiko Roll luv, "



So he bought one. The lady serving him spied me kind of grinning, she knew exactly what I was thinking. When she started serving me I said to her "He's gonna have one, maybe two bites of it and throw it in the bin" She then said "I know, If he comes back I'll give him something else for nicks "

While walking back to the car, there was the tourist, walking away form the the bin

So beware boys and girls

[exfarmer]

It doesn't look that bad, all the ingredients of a meal in one handy roll.

[palo5]

Are any of our friends in SW Australia?

[palo5]

"As they fight for more exposure, female Olympians worldwide will be more covered up at this year's London games.

Or, in the case of Australia's Opals basketballers - who since the Beijing Olympics in 2008 have been lobbying for uniforms that decrease, rather than encourage, the perve factor"



http://www.dailylife.com.au/health-a...329-1vzi5.html

This will ruin my summer - do they really think I watch the Olympics for the sports?

[thyguy]

Imagine opening the door or window and seeing the sky almost black full with, like, condor size black bats.

[palo5]

Originally Posted by thyguy

Imagine opening the door or window and seeing the sky almost black full with, like, condor size black bats.

Don't worry - nothing our Australian comrades can't handle

[Tmee2020]

Originally Posted by thyguy

Imagine opening the door or window and seeing the sky almost black full with, like, condor size black bats.

You can't touch the buggers either, that's the worst part.

They're called Flughund in German, how good is that?

I only know this because a German friend who was staying educated me while they were flappin around out the back of my place.

[palo5]

Originally Posted by tmee2000

You can't touch the buggers either, that's the worst part.

It is not necessary to touch them, comrade - it is possible they are poisonous and you will die in 10 seconds

Use body language like Crocodile Dundee