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October 1st, 2013, 01:46 PM
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#41 |
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Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts
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A six-foot six skinhead was giving me evils in the pub.
I said, "Keep looking at me like that and you'll be spending the night in casualty." He said, "I'd like to see you fcuking try, you little cnut!" So I stabbed his wife.
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October 1st, 2013, 02:15 PM
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#42 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Just received hundreds of thousands of friend requests on FaceBook.
All from Ethiopians. Uploaded a sandwich as my profile picture thirty seconds ago.
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| The Following 32 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post: | andw, baldie, botogames, captpike, dennisomatic, DonnyJoe, electrofreak, Estreeter, fireburning, gbt42dd, Glen Quagmire, Grey Wolf, Hertz, jomama, kenmil4, luddite, Mal Hombre, mameylopez, NIN, nortelman, pabx11, Ritzik, rustler, SanteeFats, SpEffects, zeus64, sweatyhat, Tester2010, trailmaster, tsunamiSD, tygrkhat40, zohn |
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October 1st, 2013, 02:20 PM
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#43 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,106
Thanks: 449,599
Thanked 896,744 Times in 60,308 Posts
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A depressed lady is standing at a cliffs edge, she's trying to get the nerve up to jump and end it all.
A passing hobo stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?" The lady replies "No...get away from me ya bum" The bum turned to leave and muttered "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom then" 
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October 1st, 2013, 02:26 PM
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#44 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Not wishing to brag.
Only i've had sex with countless women. Yet thanks to Rohypnol none of them know it.
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October 1st, 2013, 02:30 PM
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#45 |
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Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts
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I was given some financial good news today.
The child I've been sponsoring in Africa has been mauled to death by a lion.
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October 2nd, 2013, 12:15 PM
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#46 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The 19th hole
Posts: 58,106
Thanks: 449,599
Thanked 896,744 Times in 60,308 Posts
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Q ,What's about 18 inches long, stiff and makes a woman scream at night?
A, Cot death. 
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October 2nd, 2013, 05:39 PM
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#47 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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I can feel the burning pitchforks in my bum cheeks already !.
"How many sexual partners have you had ?" asked my blind date.
"Not that many and anyway a gentleman hates to tell " i said. "Under ten ?" She demanded. "Ok then" i replied " One was eight , another nine and the other half dozen were seven year olds "
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October 2nd, 2013, 05:59 PM
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#48 |
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Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts
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I heard the Queen's got diarrhoea.
Nobody will have seen royal skidmarks as bad as this since that tunnel in Paris.
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October 2nd, 2013, 06:06 PM
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#49 |
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Woodwose
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the mud and rain
Posts: 10,869
Thanks: 97,859
Thanked 187,901 Times in 10,563 Posts
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Jeffrey Dahmer's fridge.
Well, you wouldn't want a warm queer, would you?
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October 2nd, 2013, 06:29 PM
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#50 |
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Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 69,106
Thanks: 372,713
Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts
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Have felt pretty depressed recently, no job, no woman and no prospects.
But then suddenly out of the blue my Muslim neighbour had a quiet word and really cheered me up. Turns out he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
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My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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