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September 10th, 2017, 10:44 PM | #12681 |
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If you ever go out with a schoolteacher,
You're in for a sensational night; She'll make you do it over and over again Until you do it right. - Nipsey Rusell |
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September 11th, 2017, 09:17 AM | #12682 |
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I bet getting a boot on your chest hurt as well!
Last edited by gedly; September 11th, 2017 at 04:43 PM.. Reason: Rephrase |
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September 11th, 2017, 10:57 PM | #12683 |
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Struggling to make ends meet on a minister's salary, the pastor was angry when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this?!" he asked.
"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'" "Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation? I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, 'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'"
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LET FREEDOM WAIT |
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September 14th, 2017, 07:32 PM | #12684 |
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I've been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to shagging...
As I stripped off I said to her: "You must have seen a few cocks where you work? How do you rate mine?" She said: "It's just slightly bigger than most I see" I said: "ahhh thanks babe, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?" "I'm a Midwife" she replied |
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September 14th, 2017, 10:19 PM | #12685 |
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I once met the Sex Pistols in a car park. It was Pretty Vacant.
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September 15th, 2017, 09:18 AM | #12686 |
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Which artist painted "The Brown Finger" ??
Picassole |
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September 15th, 2017, 04:50 PM | #12687 |
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I was at a job interview today. They asked, "Could you just clear up for us, how did you first start out? "Well, as a sperm and an egg", I replied.
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September 16th, 2017, 04:03 PM | #12688 |
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"Well, I got a hold of one of my dad's Playboys..."
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September 16th, 2017, 09:51 PM | #12689 |
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I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day. Said to my Mrs "Let's have a game - I put one on and you try to guess what flavour it is."
She closed her eyes, went down on me under the duvet and said, "Cheesy Wotsits". I said, "For fvck sake, give me time to put one on!" |
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September 17th, 2017, 12:58 PM | #12690 |
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my mate appeared in Court for stealing hay stacks yesterday, he was lucky and got bailed......
Jeez that was awful pmsl |
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