Post your corny jokes - Page 328

Hot Solar · January 7th, 2012, 05:30 PM

Dont know why my wife was unhappy with her Christmas Present

I got her a pack of batteries with a label on the box saying "present not included"

Hot Solar · January 7th, 2012, 06:08 PM

I finally responded to one of the many pop ups on the net, when it said “Bored Housewife would like to do things for you”
So I got her round to do my ironing

**Jeff Vader** · January 7th, 2012, 06:11 PM

I met Sean Connery in a bar last night,

he said he had a question he moustache me, but he was shaving it for later.

**karloschaos** · January 7th, 2012, 08:35 PM

Bob Holdness gets to Heaven. Amy Winehouse comes up to him & says "I'll have an E please Bob"

**Jonno71** · January 7th, 2012, 10:30 PM

I think I need to wash my dick.

The cheese has turned into stilton.

**Mal Hombre** · January 7th, 2012, 11:16 PM

Scrabble,It's all fun and games until someone loses an I

**Acanthus2003** · January 7th, 2012, 11:42 PM

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room he got as a birthday present.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you stay there for
TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOURS delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

**botogames** · January 7th, 2012, 11:54 PM

Rediscovered it today... so here it is --

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening.

Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling “Gama Su!, Gama Su!”. Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwords went to sleep.

The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese.

Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling, “Gama Su! Gama Su!” Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked

“Wrong Hole? What do you mean Wrong Hole?”

**Acanthus2003** · January 7th, 2012, 11:56 PM

Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls!

Why do bunnies have soft sex?
They have cotton balls!

**Jeff Vader** · January 7th, 2012, 11:58 PM

Anyone else find irony in Natasha Giggs entering big brother ?

January 7th, 2012, 06:11 PM	#3273
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	I met Sean Connery in a bar last night, he said he had a question he moustache me, but he was shaving it for later. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

January 7th, 2012, 11:16 PM	#3276
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,176 Thanks: 773,135 Thanked 856,354 Times in 57,607 Posts	Scrabble,It's all fun and games until someone loses an I __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 7th, 2012, 11:54 PM	#3278
botogames Everything in Moderation Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: On VACA - Aloha! Posts: 2,923 Thanks: 143,500 Thanked 42,726 Times in 2,706 Posts	Old joke I heard back when I was 15... That was a long time ago... Rediscovered it today... so here it is -- A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling “Gama Su!, Gama Su!”. Hearing this, the Texan knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwords went to sleep. The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Texan joined in and began yelling, “Gama Su! Gama Su!” Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked “Wrong Hole? What do you mean Wrong Hole?”

January 7th, 2012, 11:58 PM	#3280
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	Anyone else find irony in Natasha Giggs entering big brother ? __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

January 7th, 2012, 05:30 PM	#3271
Hot Solar Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 99 Thanks: 241 Thanked 1,422 Times in 97 Posts	Dont know why my wife was unhappy with her Christmas Present I got her a pack of batteries with a label on the box saying "present not included"

January 7th, 2012, 06:08 PM	#3272
Hot Solar Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 99 Thanks: 241 Thanked 1,422 Times in 97 Posts	I finally responded to one of the many pop ups on the net, when it said “Bored Housewife would like to do things for you” So I got her round to do my ironing

January 7th, 2012, 08:35 PM	#3274
karloschaos Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: East Yorkshire Posts: 748 Thanks: 7,982 Thanked 8,832 Times in 687 Posts	Bob Holdness gets to Heaven. Amy Winehouse comes up to him & says "I'll have an E please Bob"

January 7th, 2012, 10:30 PM	#3275
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,962 Times in 1,503 Posts	I think I need to wash my dick. The cheese has turned into stilton.

January 7th, 2012, 11:42 PM	#3277
Acanthus2003 Who the Trump is fuck? Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Pandora's floating "Hallelujah Mountains" Posts: 1,208 Thanks: 127,132 Thanked 65,963 Times in 1,214 Posts	A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room he got as a birthday present. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOURS delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

January 7th, 2012, 11:56 PM	#3279
Acanthus2003 Who the Trump is fuck? Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Pandora's floating "Hallelujah Mountains" Posts: 1,208 Thanks: 127,132 Thanked 65,963 Times in 1,214 Posts	Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls! Why do bunnies have soft sex? They have cotton balls!