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November 2nd, 2011, 04:45 PM | #11 | |
Long Suffering Bills Fan
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November 4th, 2011, 12:20 AM | #12 |
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Lady Ya Wanna?
*sung to the tune of Lady Madonna* Lady, ya wanna? Feel my fleshy meat? Grab and pull, and then insert, and then repeat. You'll charge me money, 'till it's all been spent While we practice kinky moves that I invent. Saturday we'll do it in Nantucket Sunday morning, anal in Nepal Yank my handle then you'll quickly fuck it Make my nuts raw! Lady, ya wanna? Dress up like a nun? Groan and moan and all in Latin 'till I'm done. Boop oop de--dee-- Boop oop dee--dee-dee-- De dee dum!
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November 12th, 2011, 09:42 PM | #13 |
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Because I'm bored and drinking I re-wrote some lyrics. Sing along to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvsX03LOMhI Hello vodka my old friend I've come to drink with you again Because you taste so lovely When added to Coke or Pepsi And the numbness, spreading throughout my body Goes away So I'll have, another Seems I am drinking alone Lots of drunk texts on my phone Dehydration gives me leg cramp I am a alcoholic champ When my eyes can't focus on the tv screen What does it mean Guess I'll have, another And in my drunken haze I saw A bottle of wine and a straw I raised my glass and said salut Cheers to myself and you When the room does spin and the headache starts to grow Time seems to slow So I'll have, another My speech is slurred, as you can tell In my drunkeness I dwell See me stagger down the street I have the munchies, I must eat But my vodka belly starts to swell Empty glass Means I need, another Then I got down on my knees For I have dropped my house keys And my brain flashed out its warnings I'm not to go on the kiddie swings And the vodka said "listen to the wisdom of veteran alcoholic Drink it quick Then you'll live to have, another |
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November 13th, 2011, 05:05 AM | #14 |
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Hugo, you forgot the intro to that REO song you spoofed...
"Caught it from a friend who, Caught it from a friend who-oo, Caught it from some body who was fucking A-round....." Chorus goes "You take it up the ass, baby Wasn't it a gas bay-by Now my dick is turning brown...." I'li save "McDonaldland" th spoof of Metallica's "Enter Sandman" for another time. Tons of stuff like this on YOOHOOtube, btw.. enter a song with the name and Misheard Lyrics and stand back! |
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November 13th, 2011, 05:51 AM | #15 |
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Here's one I wrote many years ago -- (sung to the tune of "Hot Rod Lincoln")
"RICED OUT NEON" Have you heard the story of the riced-out race, where the Nissan's and Honda's were settin' the pace? That story is true. And I'm sad to say, there was even a fool with a riced Hyundai! I got a Plymouth Neon, it looks really slick. A chameleon paint job makes it look trick! Alteeza's and a fart-can, but that ain't all... I got a wing on the back, four feet tall! Pulled of my 'hood early one night, the windshield nozzles shinin', blue and bright. Head to the freeway, get on I-10, drive to LA, go cruisin' again. All of a sudden, in the blink of an eye... an SUV passed us by! My friends in the back said, "What the fuck? You just got smoked by a Cadillac truck!" They said, "Yo' man, wassup with that? That shit ain't right, we thought you was phat!" "Go catch that Caddy, and show 'em who's boss! Or does this piece of shit only run on NOS?" I don't take that crap, not while I'm alive, so I dropped that Neon into overdrive! Stomped my foot, mashed the gas to the floor, my speedometer topped out at eighty-four! Smoke was coming outta the back, as I started to gain on the Cadillac! Knew I could catch 'em, and slip right past. Neon don't need NOS, just premium gas! Motor was whining, man what a ride! Neon and Caddy, side by side! I yelled "Look out Bee-yatch! Hang up your cell phone!" And the Caddy pulled over, and left us alone! Subwoofer in the trunk was really thumpin', my posse in the back started jumpin'! Looked out the back, and no one smiled... the cops pulled us over - we've been profiled! They arrested me, and threw me in jail. Called my parents to post my bail. My Pop said "Son, I'm gonna start sniffin' Freon... if you don't stop drivin' that RICED...OUT...NEON!! |
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December 2nd, 2011, 06:16 PM | #16 |
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Here's one We used to sing at School...
I was born under a Playtex bra, I was born under a Playtex bra, Balls were made for rubbin', Rubbin' on the grass, Stick Yer head between Yer legs, And whistle up Yer arse, I was born ....etc To tune Wandrin' Star.
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December 4th, 2011, 04:40 AM | #17 |
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Why They Don't Write Car Songs Anymore....
Jan and Dean are spinning in their graves At 12,000 RPM....
Driving in my YU-GO Late one night When a dork in a Civic Pulled up on the right He rolled down his window And raved like an ass "I'll bet mine goes further on a tank full of gas"! I said "You're on Buddy my cars running prime I filled up at the Citgo And 7th and Vine"! ....... And I can't even figure out how to end the damn thing. I'm guessing they couldn't either... fell free to add on if you want. The only thing sadder than this is a Smart Car Club meeting I saw at our local Sonic Drive-In... I am NOT making that up unfortunately! By the way, Otter, that song rules.. but it's so, so sad... SHF |
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December 5th, 2011, 08:48 PM | #18 |
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Steely Dan
Rikki Don't Lose That Number = Rikki Don't Chew That Lumber
Rikki don't chew that lumber You don't want to fall nobody's elm Sand it up with some lacquer for your shelf Rikki don't chew that lumber Don't yank a sapling from the loam Cos' no wants a human termite To chew their home Rikki doent chew that Rikki don't chew that Rikki don't chew that lumber
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December 17th, 2011, 08:30 PM | #19 |
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Yes
Leave It = Cheese It
I can feel no sense of Cheddar No more Gouda as we taste Wedges of ripe Limburger Chowing down the Brie we make In wheels. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Cheese it!
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December 17th, 2011, 09:28 PM | #20 |
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The Carpenters.
Close to you = Over you Why do pervs suddenly appear every time you are near just like me they long to pee over you. |
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