Stupid movie cliches and impossibilities - Page 6

edward126 · August 9th, 2009, 06:40 PM

Big fight. loads of punches to face. No blood, cuts or brusing.
Nobody ever really uses the lavatory.
Steven Segal getting work.
What's the point of having doors when they are so easy to kick in.
Beards never grow.
Women never have periods.
When your house or flat has been broken into the door is always open or ajar.
Little steroes with club like volume and music clarity.
Checkins at airports are always hassle free and airport workers are always friendly and helpful.
Socks and underwear are never changed,
Kevin Costner getting work.
Cars never run out of fuel or tyres never blow during chases.
You will always outdrive the police as they are crap drivers and will always crash into each other.
Nobody farts or burps.
"Can i come to" yeh your not going to die first are you.
Nobody says goodbye while on the phone, they just hangup. Rude bastards.
In westerns animals never need to have a crap or piss.
Non smokers always seem to carry matches or a lighter.
Steven Segal or Kevin Costner getting work.
People forgetting that they have just been shot and carry on regardless of the injuries.
Nobody ever goes into shock after being shot, witnessing an accident etc.
Everybody starts shagging regardless of who they are or what situation they are in.
Everybody knows first-aid.
Everybody knows how to drive, ride a motorbike or a horse.

**bawjaws** · August 9th, 2009, 06:52 PM

HellBoys sawn off horns are all wrong .Horns are fairly hollow things,especially where his are cut off

Sam Spade · August 9th, 2009, 07:31 PM

Star Trek...

How come when an away team transports to an alien craft, or to a planet of an extinct species and the Captain says "see if you can get main power online/the computer working/the coffee machine running" the engineer glances at the control panel, which uses a language that he has never encountered before and just jabs at a few buttons and hey presto, everything works, when in real life most folk take 20 minutes to find the "On" switch of the stereo in a new car.

And why does he insist on taking all the senior staff on every dangerous away mission, leaving the ship/space station in control of a few ensign's and the tea lady.

BAH!

**Mal Hombre** · August 9th, 2009, 08:16 PM

When somebody turns off the lights,it only gets slightly darker even when it's pitch black outside

**rotobott** · August 9th, 2009, 08:31 PM

Everyone wants to follow the hero into battle,even though he's the only one who ever survives.Me I'd rather take on this big bastard robot on my own with me walking stick,at least then I might stand a chance.

**spitalhouse** · August 9th, 2009, 09:27 PM

People in bars who leave most of their drink or never collect their change.

Women who twist their ankles when being chased by baddies.

Cars that don't start when trying to escape the baddie.

Cars that don't start when trying to chase the baddie.

When the whole solution to cracking a complex case ultimately relies merely on one of the suspects letting slip something that only the guilty person would know. The cop says: 'How did you know that?'. The suspect replies: 'I must have read it in the newspaper'. And the cop says: 'It was never reported in the newspaper'. And the suspect says: 'You must have mentioned it the other day'. And the cop comes back with: 'But I only found out myself a few hours ago'. Etc, etc.

Kids who endanger everyone by going back to save their pets.

Successive waves of German soldiers who run into a room/corridor only to be met by a hail of bullets from behind a barricade. Are all German soldiers deaf - were they unable to detect the sound of gunfire that met the previous wave of Germans who entered the room/corridor before them?

Regards.

edward126 · August 9th, 2009, 10:46 PM

People walk around in bloody clothes with a face looking like they have just gone ten rounds with Tyson and nobody bats an eyelid.
Sex is always good, romantic and everybody orgasisms.
Police are always superfit olympians.
Nobody ever finishes a meal.
Flights are never delayed and trains always run on time.
Women always look immaculate first thing in the morning.
Phones are never recharged.
When somebody stabs another person they never seem to get any blood on themselves.
People always just buzz somebody in they never ask who's there.
Food delivery people always find your address.
There's always a doctor, nurse, midwife or pilot around when needed.
Everybody's a mechanic.
Taxi's always turn up at the appointed time.
Everybody knows how to fight and is a master with any weapon that comes to hand be it a gun, bat or toothpick.
Everybody knows how to dance and wants to dance.
Everybody in the world speaks english to an extent.
There's always drugs available when needed.
Someone will always wake up when there is an unusual noise in the house.
A car door is strong enough to stop any bullet from passing through it.
Nobody ever forgets anybody's name.
Nobody ever suffers from vertigo.
Nobody ever gets pissed on a flight and wants to fight.
Cars will always run no matter what damage you do to them but will always explode when you wave a gun at them.
Steven Segal & Kevin Costner are still getting work.

**TCO95** · August 9th, 2009, 11:02 PM

Star Trek:
No matter how violent the alien they have warp capability. How could these warrior races ever work together long enough to develop warp technology? If they couldn't develop it then who would be dumb enough to give it to them?

All spaceships conform to human specs. Star Trek Voyageur once encountered a race of 'evolved' lizards with the usual claws, etc. how did they build a ship and why was the furniture, etc. all fit for humans?

They never get sick breathing the air, drinking the water, eating the food and Kirk never gets an STD.

**gmcbee** · August 9th, 2009, 11:18 PM

When removing duct tape from someone's mouth you always have to rip it off with an extreme amount of force, the faster the better. Funny thing is, nobody ever loses a piece of lip or a moustache along with it.

**gmcbee** · August 9th, 2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TCO95

Star Trek:...

Another thing about Trek: every single damn thing on the ship beeps or whistles or whooshes or clicks or chimes. You'd think they'd learn how to turn the sounds off by the 23rd century, eh? Enough to drive a Vulcan crazy.

August 9th, 2009, 07:31 PM	#53
Sam Spade *Administrator* Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 15,926 Thanks: 139,826 Thanked 303,376 Times in 15,466 Posts	Star Trek... How come when an away team transports to an alien craft, or to a planet of an extinct species and the Captain says "see if you can get main power online/the computer working/the coffee machine running" the engineer glances at the control panel, which uses a language that he has never encountered before and just jabs at a few buttons and hey presto, everything works, when in real life most folk take 20 minutes to find the "On" switch of the stereo in a new car. And why does he insist on taking all the senior staff on every dangerous away mission, leaving the ship/space station in control of a few ensign's and the tea lady. BAH! __________________ We recommend you use a variety of hosts for your pictures Read and follow the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and everything will be sweet. Use the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. button to show appreciation. Use the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. facility or the A-Z's before starting a new thread. Play nice. If you find any dead images in any of my celebrity posts, please PM me with details.

August 9th, 2009, 08:16 PM	#54
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,144 Thanks: 772,750 Thanked 855,841 Times in 57,575 Posts	When somebody turns off the lights,it only gets slightly darker even when it's pitch black outside __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 9th, 2009, 09:27 PM	#56
spitalhouse Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Past caring Posts: 768 Thanks: 2,080 Thanked 12,555 Times in 747 Posts	People in bars who leave most of their drink or never collect their change. Women who twist their ankles when being chased by baddies. Cars that don't start when trying to escape the baddie. Cars that don't start when trying to chase the baddie. When the whole solution to cracking a complex case ultimately relies merely on one of the suspects letting slip something that only the guilty person would know. The cop says: 'How did you know that?'. The suspect replies: 'I must have read it in the newspaper'. And the cop says: 'It was never reported in the newspaper'. And the suspect says: 'You must have mentioned it the other day'. And the cop comes back with: 'But I only found out myself a few hours ago'. Etc, etc. Kids who endanger everyone by going back to save their pets. Successive waves of German soldiers who run into a room/corridor only to be met by a hail of bullets from behind a barricade. Are all German soldiers deaf - were they unable to detect the sound of gunfire that met the previous wave of Germans who entered the room/corridor before them? Regards. __________________ Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. (Einstein) Last edited by spitalhouse; August 9th, 2009 at 09:49 PM..

August 9th, 2009, 06:40 PM	#51
edward126 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Cesspit Tewkesbury, Glos. Posts: 72 Thanks: 40 Thanked 585 Times in 71 Posts	Big fight. loads of punches to face. No blood, cuts or brusing. Nobody ever really uses the lavatory. Steven Segal getting work. What's the point of having doors when they are so easy to kick in. Beards never grow. Women never have periods. When your house or flat has been broken into the door is always open or ajar. Little steroes with club like volume and music clarity. Checkins at airports are always hassle free and airport workers are always friendly and helpful. Socks and underwear are never changed, Kevin Costner getting work. Cars never run out of fuel or tyres never blow during chases. You will always outdrive the police as they are crap drivers and will always crash into each other. Nobody farts or burps. "Can i come to" yeh your not going to die first are you. Nobody says goodbye while on the phone, they just hangup. Rude bastards. In westerns animals never need to have a crap or piss. Non smokers always seem to carry matches or a lighter. Steven Segal or Kevin Costner getting work. People forgetting that they have just been shot and carry on regardless of the injuries. Nobody ever goes into shock after being shot, witnessing an accident etc. Everybody starts shagging regardless of who they are or what situation they are in. Everybody knows first-aid. Everybody knows how to drive, ride a motorbike or a horse.

August 9th, 2009, 06:52 PM	#52
bawjaws Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 972 Thanks: 13,819 Thanked 12,970 Times in 958 Posts	HellBoys sawn off horns are all wrong .Horns are fairly hollow things,especially where his are cut off

August 9th, 2009, 08:31 PM	#55
rotobott Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 32,111 Thanks: 174,792 Thanked 634,668 Times in 31,432 Posts	Everyone wants to follow the hero into battle,even though he's the only one who ever survives.Me I'd rather take on this big bastard robot on my own with me walking stick,at least then I might stand a chance.

August 9th, 2009, 10:46 PM	#57
edward126 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Cesspit Tewkesbury, Glos. Posts: 72 Thanks: 40 Thanked 585 Times in 71 Posts	People walk around in bloody clothes with a face looking like they have just gone ten rounds with Tyson and nobody bats an eyelid. Sex is always good, romantic and everybody orgasisms. Police are always superfit olympians. Nobody ever finishes a meal. Flights are never delayed and trains always run on time. Women always look immaculate first thing in the morning. Phones are never recharged. When somebody stabs another person they never seem to get any blood on themselves. People always just buzz somebody in they never ask who's there. Food delivery people always find your address. There's always a doctor, nurse, midwife or pilot around when needed. Everybody's a mechanic. Taxi's always turn up at the appointed time. Everybody knows how to fight and is a master with any weapon that comes to hand be it a gun, bat or toothpick. Everybody knows how to dance and wants to dance. Everybody in the world speaks english to an extent. There's always drugs available when needed. Someone will always wake up when there is an unusual noise in the house. A car door is strong enough to stop any bullet from passing through it. Nobody ever forgets anybody's name. Nobody ever suffers from vertigo. Nobody ever gets pissed on a flight and wants to fight. Cars will always run no matter what damage you do to them but will always explode when you wave a gun at them. Steven Segal & Kevin Costner are still getting work.

August 9th, 2009, 11:02 PM	#58
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,804 Times in 5,130 Posts	Star Trek: No matter how violent the alien they have warp capability. How could these warrior races ever work together long enough to develop warp technology? If they couldn't develop it then who would be dumb enough to give it to them? All spaceships conform to human specs. Star Trek Voyageur once encountered a race of 'evolved' lizards with the usual claws, etc. how did they build a ship and why was the furniture, etc. all fit for humans? They never get sick breathing the air, drinking the water, eating the food and Kirk never gets an STD.

August 9th, 2009, 11:18 PM	#59
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	When removing duct tape from someone's mouth you always have to rip it off with an extreme amount of force, the faster the better. Funny thing is, nobody ever loses a piece of lip or a moustache along with it.