What Have You Learned Today ? - Page 3

**grossnex** · July 5th, 2011, 08:39 PM

Today I learned the best way to dispose of nosy neighbors.

Or so says the guy I paid to dump the barrel.

OK, OK... so today I learned that there's multiple ways to say "room" in German & I learned how to get rid of the Live Jasmine popup with Firefox 5. All thanks to my brothers at VEF.

**billybunter** · July 5th, 2011, 08:59 PM

I found how to relax. I know it sounds silly; but I could lie down and relax. I even slept without pills.

**mizlaplan** · July 5th, 2011, 09:59 PM

Today, I learned that the UK, which invented the railways, and is increasingly reliant on them, no longer makes trains.
Sad.

**keefriff** · July 5th, 2011, 10:14 PM

Since I worked today and I didn't learn anything can I say what I learned yesterday? Please, please, please Greenskull. Please!!

Thanks.

I could sense your consent. You're easy that way.

Okay so what did I learn yesterday. I learned yesterday that Leo my dog really hates firecrackers. Man, I mean he just does not like them. No matter how many I set off in his kennel he just never seemed to get in the holiday spirit. What a party pooper.

Or just a pooper in general as that's what he seems to do in abundance when he hears firecrackers. He will soon be entering a behavioral modification program to correct him of his weaknesses.

I also learned that alcohol and my GF's family are not always a good mix.

Um......how can I put this. I had to physically restrain a distant female cousin of said GF from attacking another family member.

Yeah that's right...I put a smiley at the end of it. Because it was one of the funniest things I had seen in awhile.

Pure comic gold.

She arrived angry, got angrier as the drinks started to flow and pounced like a puma when she sensed a threat. The threat being her equally drunk cousin insinuating something about somebody having had too much too drink. I personally did not hear it as I tend not to listen to nonsensical ramblings of inebriated half-cousin/wits. But I guess she-monster cousin Frazier has super hearing or something cause she jumped out of her chair, kind of unsteadily, and charged like a drunken rhino. Arms swinging like a whirling dervish, m 'effers flying like the Springer show, liquor spilling....and that is where I drew the line.

I had to grab her by her rather large waist to prevent her from reaching her cousin and administering a severe beating.

She tried to swing on me but with my cat like reflexes I was able to deflect and evade her punches. Because of the shrill screams, people ran into the backyard where they see that Wrestlemania 24 has broken out and find me holding she-monster aloft while her legs still are moving. Spinning her wheels so to be speak. Kind of like when you pick up a child. Or a middle aged drunken woman at a 4th of July BBQ.

I sent her back to her corner where, after some brief consultation w/ either her aunt or a cut man, she settled down into a less angry drunk. Still very drunk and steadily more obnoxious, but not quite as angry. Very interesting end to the weekend.

So me and the GF are driving home and I say to her "What the f--- is up with your cousin Frazier (not her real name

)?" Her response: "She drinks too much." My response: "Good thing you didn't tell her that"."

PS. One of these stories is not true so please do not call PETA or ASPCA or tell me what an a-hole I am for teasing my poor defenseless dog. He clearly asked for it and was giving me an attitude all day so sometimes things happen. Don't judge until you have walked a trillion miles in my shoes.

**theequestrian** · July 6th, 2011, 06:34 AM

I learned that there's a big difference between a hair net and a nair hat

MaxJoker · July 6th, 2011, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alibabababy

...that Frankie Boyle in concert (on dvd) is not as funny as I thought he would be.

That`s a bit like saying the vomit contained more diced carrot than expected .

Quote:

Originally Posted by keefriff

Since I worked today and I didn't learn anything can I say what I learned yesterday? Please, please, please Greenskull. Please!!

Sure you can mate , and that goes for any of our fellow members who`ve suddenly realised they`ve learned something a day too late

Quote:

Originally Posted by keefriff

Thanks.

I could sense your consent. You're easy that way.

Oh so you`ve read my business card

**billybunter** · July 6th, 2011, 07:59 PM

I must confess it has been a few years since i launched a pavement display

As you all know there is no stopping it. I'm a very LOUD person when I throw up. And take ten minutes to complete. I used to fall into a garden and sleep it off. Now I drink tea.

P37 · July 6th, 2011, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

I must confess it has been a few years since i launched a pavement display

As you all know there is no stopping it. I'm a very LOUD person when I throw up. And take ten minutes to complete. I used to fall into a garden and sleep it off. Now I drink tea.

just 'cos it says Tetleys does not make it Tea

**billybunter** · July 6th, 2011, 08:29 PM

We don'y get much English beer over here. Which is a shame, because I always loved an English ale

MaxJoker · July 7th, 2011, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

because I always loved an English ale

Yeah providing you`re not paying

Today i learned , or re-learned that once my finger nails start stinging that`s probably the key to stop biting them

Look i don`t drink during the week and as you can plainly am still awake not off in the land of sweet snoozes , so of course i`m going to bite my nails.

July 5th, 2011, 08:59 PM	#22
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	I found how to relax. I know it sounds silly; but I could lie down and relax. I even slept without pills. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 5th, 2011, 10:14 PM	#24
keefriff Torn and Frayed Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: The 612 Posts: 7,025 Thanks: 79,624 Thanked 131,515 Times in 5,993 Posts	Since I worked today and I didn't learn anything can I say what I learned yesterday? Please, please, please Greenskull. Please!! Thanks. I could sense your consent. You're easy that way. Okay so what did I learn yesterday. I learned yesterday that Leo my dog *really* hates firecrackers. Man, I mean he just does not like them. No matter how many I set off in his kennel he just never seemed to get in the holiday spirit. What a party pooper. Or just a pooper in general as that's what he seems to do in abundance when he hears firecrackers. He will soon be entering a behavioral modification program to correct him of his weaknesses. I also learned that alcohol and my GF's family are not always a good mix. Um......how can I put this. I had to physically restrain a distant female cousin of said GF from attacking another family member. Yeah that's right...I put a smiley at the end of it. Because it was one of the funniest things I had seen in awhile. Pure comic gold. She arrived angry, got angrier as the drinks started to flow and pounced like a puma when she sensed a threat. The threat being her equally drunk cousin insinuating something about somebody having had too much too drink. I personally did not hear it as I tend not to listen to nonsensical ramblings of inebriated half-cousin/wits. But I guess she-monster cousin Frazier has super hearing or something cause she jumped out of her chair, kind of unsteadily, and charged like a drunken rhino. Arms swinging like a whirling dervish, m 'effers flying like the Springer show, liquor spilling....and that is where I drew the line. I had to grab her by her rather large waist to prevent her from reaching her cousin and administering a severe beating. She tried to swing on me but with my cat like reflexes I was able to deflect and evade her punches. Because of the shrill screams, people ran into the backyard where they see that Wrestlemania 24 has broken out and find me holding she-monster aloft while her legs still are moving. Spinning her wheels so to be speak. Kind of like when you pick up a child. Or a middle aged drunken woman at a 4th of July BBQ. I sent her back to her corner where, after some brief consultation w/ either her aunt or a cut man, she settled down into a less angry drunk. Still very drunk and steadily more obnoxious, but not quite as angry. Very interesting end to the weekend. So me and the GF are driving home and I say to her "What the f--- is up with your cousin Frazier (not her real name)?" Her response: "She drinks too much." My response: "Good thing you didn't tell her that"." PS. One of these stories is not true so please do not call PETA or ASPCA or tell me what an a-hole I am for teasing my poor defenseless dog. He clearly asked for it and was giving me an attitude all day so sometimes things happen. Don't judge until you have walked a trillion miles in my shoes. __________________ You Can't Always Get What You Want But If You Follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. You Just Might Find You Get What You Need To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 6th, 2011, 06:34 AM	#25
theequestrian Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: A hop, skip & a jump from Daytona Beach, Florida Posts: 1,177 Thanks: 4,807 Thanked 11,707 Times in 1,156 Posts	I learned that there's a big difference between a hair net and a nair hat __________________ 'If we could read each others minds, we'd all sleep with loaded guns' -theequestrian

July 6th, 2011, 07:59 PM	#27
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	I must confess it has been a few years since i launched a pavement display As you all know there is no stopping it. I'm a very LOUD person when I throw up. And take ten minutes to complete. I used to fall into a garden and sleep it off. Now I drink tea. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 6th, 2011, 08:29 PM	#29
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	We don'y get much English beer over here. Which is a shame, because I always loved an English ale __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

July 5th, 2011, 08:39 PM	#21
grossnex Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Between the swamps of Jersey & NYC Posts: 2,571 Thanks: 34,428 Thanked 91,570 Times in 2,857 Posts	Today I learned the best way to dispose of nosy neighbors. Or so says the guy I paid to dump the barrel. OK, OK... so today I learned that there's multiple ways to say "room" in German & I learned how to get rid of the Live Jasmine popup with Firefox 5. All thanks to my brothers at VEF.

July 5th, 2011, 09:59 PM	#23
mizlaplan Good show! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Marches Posts: 2,526 Thanks: 102,981 Thanked 31,897 Times in 2,528 Posts	Today, I learned that the UK, which invented the railways, and is increasingly reliant on them, no longer makes trains. Sad.

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