Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 27

**Mal Hombre** · February 21st, 2014, 07:44 PM

Why did the gay boy leave home?
He didn't like the way He was reared..

**rustler** · February 22nd, 2014, 06:49 AM

Little boy comes home from school and goes straight into the kitchen, "Mum, I had sex with the geography teacher today!", the excited little boy says beaming.
His mum is horrified, "Go and tell your father, NOW!" she yells.

The little boy goes into the sitting room where his dad is sitting reading the paper....

"Dad, I had sex with the geography teacher today."
"Did you son", says the father smiling, not a little proudly. "Well in that case you big enough for that new bike you wanted then" he says smiling.

"Oh, not now dad, my bum hurts!"

**rustler** · February 25th, 2014, 07:37 AM

This county's steadily becoming more and more Muslim, and personally I welcome it.
I didn't really want to rape that gorgeous 11 year old down the street......

and now it looks like I don't have to!

**rustler** · March 1st, 2014, 08:27 AM

A young teenage girl goes in to see her dad.....

'Dad, can I borrow twenty quid?', she nervously asks.
'Of course you can!', he replies, 'but you know the rules, only if you give me a blow job first.'

She shrugs her shoulders, gets down on her knees, unzips his trousers , pulls his cock out and proceeds to suck him off.....

'Fcuking hell dad, your cock tastes like sh*t!', she gasps.

'Oh yeah', he says, 'your brother wanted to borrow my car earlier!'

**ManofKent** · March 4th, 2014, 08:58 PM

This is the stand-up comedian Paul Eastwood referring to the Olympics:

"Poland did well. They took home Bronze, Silver, Gold, Lead, Copper-anything they could get their hands on.
Team Somalia, they did well, didn't they? They had to apologise. Didn't realise that sailing and shooting were two different things..."

**rockernut** · March 4th, 2014, 09:19 PM

How do you know that your sister's having a period ?

Daddy's penis tastes blood.

**rustler** · March 5th, 2014, 07:14 AM

I was walking down the street the other day when a man came running up to me, one hand clutching the seat of his trousers and the other holding his stomach.
'Please mate', he asked, 'where can I get a sh*t?'
'Down the street, second on the right, then first on the left and then first right.' I told him.
'Awwwwwww, thanks' he groaned as he ran off in that direction, still holding the seat of his trousers......

'But that was some minutes ago', I yelled after him, 'somebody's probably stood in it by now!'

MaxJoker · March 5th, 2014, 05:41 PM

Lately I'm struggling to find any of my usual favourite Online porn.

As whenever I Google "fucked African amputee" all I get are stories about bloody Oscar Pistorius.

Who was the most well known Jewish cook ?.

Adolf Eichmann.

What's the difference between slavery and fences ?.

Black people can get over fences.

**rustler** · March 8th, 2014, 09:16 AM

It's been a terrible week, I had to give poor Sarah some really awful news......

'Come in and sit down', I said to her gently, 'I am afraid I have some terrible news for you. The results of your tests have come back.'

She looked deeply saddened and worried....

'Yes', she replied.

'First I am going to examine your breasts again one last time', I told her as I gently felt first the right breast, then her left breast, then her right one again. Gently feeling the nipples......

'Yes', I said, 'you've got D+ in your Home Economics exam!'

MaxJoker · March 8th, 2014, 02:46 PM

Once almost asked a Jewish girl for her number.

Thankfully soon realised I didn't need to.

She`d already rolled her sleeves up.

What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson ?....

Shinless Lisp.

February 21st, 2014, 07:44 PM	#261
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,198 Thanks: 773,472 Thanked 856,588 Times in 57,629 Posts	Why did the gay boy leave home? He didn't like the way He was reared.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 22nd, 2014, 06:49 AM	#262
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	Little boy comes home from school and goes straight into the kitchen, "Mum, I had sex with the geography teacher today!", the excited little boy says beaming. His mum is horrified, "Go and tell your father, NOW!" she yells. The little boy goes into the sitting room where his dad is sitting reading the paper.... "Dad, I had sex with the geography teacher today." "Did you son", says the father smiling, not a little proudly. "Well in that case you big enough for that new bike you wanted then" he says smiling. "Oh, not now dad, my bum hurts!" __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 25th, 2014, 07:37 AM	#263
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	This county's steadily becoming more and more Muslim, and personally I welcome it. I didn't really want to rape that gorgeous 11 year old down the street...... and now it looks like I don't have to! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 1st, 2014, 08:27 AM	#264
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	A young teenage girl goes in to see her dad..... 'Dad, can I borrow twenty quid?', she nervously asks. 'Of course you can!', he replies, 'but you know the rules, only if you give me a blow job first.' She shrugs her shoulders, gets down on her knees, unzips his trousers , pulls his cock out and proceeds to suck him off..... 'Fcuking hell dad, your cock tastes like sht!', she gasps. 'Oh yeah', he says, 'your brother wanted to borrow my car earlier!' __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.*

March 5th, 2014, 07:14 AM	#267
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	I was walking down the street the other day when a man came running up to me, one hand clutching the seat of his trousers and the other holding his stomach. 'Please mate', he asked, 'where can I get a sht?' 'Down the street, second on the right, then first on the left and then first right.' I told him. 'Awwwwwww, thanks' he groaned as he ran off in that direction, still holding the seat of his trousers...... 'But that was some minutes ago', I yelled after him, 'somebody's probably stood in it by now!' __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.*

March 4th, 2014, 08:58 PM	#265
ManofKent Vintage Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: U.K Posts: 1,130 Thanks: 10,125 Thanked 13,836 Times in 1,113 Posts	This is the stand-up comedian Paul Eastwood referring to the Olympics: "Poland did well. They took home Bronze, Silver, Gold, Lead, Copper-anything they could get their hands on. Team Somalia, they did well, didn't they? They had to apologise. Didn't realise that sailing and shooting were two different things..."

March 4th, 2014, 09:19 PM	#266
rockernut Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 6,958 Thanks: 69,674 Thanked 73,323 Times in 6,969 Posts	How do you know that your sister's having a period ? Daddy's penis tastes blood.

March 5th, 2014, 05:41 PM	#268
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,907 Times in 69,067 Posts	Lately I'm struggling to find any of my usual favourite Online porn. As whenever I Google "fucked African amputee" all I get are stories about bloody Oscar Pistorius. Who was the most well known Jewish cook ?. Adolf Eichmann. What's the difference between slavery and fences ?. Black people can get over fences. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 8th, 2014, 09:16 AM	#269
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,563 Times in 4,955 Posts	Poor Sarah... It's been a terrible week, I had to give poor Sarah some really awful news...... 'Come in and sit down', I said to her gently, 'I am afraid I have some terrible news for you. The results of your tests have come back.' She looked deeply saddened and worried.... 'Yes', she replied. 'First I am going to examine your breasts again one last time', I told her as I gently felt first the right breast, then her left breast, then her right one again. Gently feeling the nipples...... 'Yes', I said, 'you've got D+ in your Home Economics exam!' __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 8th, 2014, 02:46 PM	#270
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,907 Times in 69,067 Posts	Once almost asked a Jewish girl for her number. Thankfully soon realised I didn't need to. She`d already rolled her sleeves up. What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson ?.... Shinless Lisp. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.