Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 118

**MemoryHunter** · September 12th, 2017, 12:12 AM

A transgender man with terminal cancer visits his doctor knowing he has only 9 months left to live.

"Doctor, all my life I've wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. Can you make my wish come true?" The doctor thinks for a while and then says, "Yes, given your condition I think I can make that happen" The patient is delighted and the operation is set for the following week.

As he comes round from the aneasthetic the first face he sees is the doctor's. "Will I now find out what it's like to be pregnant?" The Doctor smiled and said, "You should do, I've sewn your arse up."

**MemoryHunter** · September 15th, 2017, 02:24 PM

It's quiz night at the pub, and one team is a man short to enter. There's a guy at the bar on his own, so they decide to ask him of he wants to join them.

After introductions talk turns to work and it turns out the new guy is on the bins.

Then the quiz starts and the new guy is a revelation, art, science, literature, history, this guy knows the answer to most of the questions. They end up winning the quiz, and having split the prize money, they get chatting again as they celebrate.

"With all that knowledge you must be able to get a better job than binman"
"Well I used to be a gynacologist, but I gave it up."
"Why?"
"I wanted to do something less disgusting."
"What! So you chose garbage over being a doctor?"
"Think about it, most of my patients were either old or infected, often both."
"But still, it can't have been that bad."
"You ever pulled open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

**AmateurEmale** · September 15th, 2017, 06:02 PM

Since this is getting to be a little more gynecological:

Q. What's grosser than gross?

A. A Bloody Mary with a string attached.

**AmateurEmale** · September 16th, 2017, 01:02 AM

If you listen to hard rock bands from the '80s, it's hair metal.

If you listen to them while looking at Playboy, it's hare metal.

And if you are a polygamist, it's harem metal!

~~}[eywood~~ · September 16th, 2017, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flembo

I was going to hell anyway. I'm 25% German. So I had nothing to lose.

I'm not afraid of Hell. My body is what feels pain from things like fire. My soul is just electricity. No nervous system = no pain. Threats of lakes of fire cause me no concern at all. Count me in on the trip to Hell.

Besides, Heaven is where all the religious nuts are. You think they're a pain in the ass down here, imagine every religious nut that ever lived all at once. Hell's starting to sound pretty good, eh?

**Arturo2nd** · September 17th, 2017, 07:44 AM

Welcome to Hell! Tonights Social - Reminiscing Old Times with your Exes.

Colonoscopys will follow the social.

**ball7** · September 17th, 2017, 11:01 AM

My first visit to Harlem went well.
Until I disrobed.

MaxJoker · September 18th, 2017, 05:40 PM

Why is it Jesse Jackson never got the black vote ? ,

He promised to create jobs for them if elected president.

What`s better than an eager eighteen year old ? ,

Two drugged nine year olds.

What do you call a black hitchhiker ? ,

Forever stranded.

**ball7** · September 21st, 2017, 01:50 PM

The missing minutes of the Nixon tapes
explains how former President Nixon saved the whole world from an alien attack and how the whole Watergate was a clever cover up.

MaxJoker · September 21st, 2017, 04:42 PM

Do you know why I stopped dating transvestites ? ,

They`re harder to beat up than regular women.

My best mate complained about the actors in the porno I lent him having pixilated faces ,

Well didn't think he`d have enjoyed it as much if knew it was me with his mum.

September 12th, 2017, 12:12 AM	#1171
MemoryHunter Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Sleepy Old Sussex, England Posts: 1,157 Thanks: 20,218 Thanked 18,256 Times in 1,144 Posts	A transgender man with terminal cancer visits his doctor knowing he has only 9 months left to live. "Doctor, all my life I've wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. Can you make my wish come true?" The doctor thinks for a while and then says, "Yes, given your condition I think I can make that happen" The patient is delighted and the operation is set for the following week. As he comes round from the aneasthetic the first face he sees is the doctor's. "Will I now find out what it's like to be pregnant?" The Doctor smiled and said, "You should do, I've sewn your arse up." __________________ If you can ID a Model in one of my posts, let me know, I'll update it, and credit you too. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for a favourite, but you don't know her name? There's a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , that may help. It's for known models only, don't post requests, or you will be 'Mod-ified.'

September 15th, 2017, 02:24 PM	#1172
MemoryHunter Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Sleepy Old Sussex, England Posts: 1,157 Thanks: 20,218 Thanked 18,256 Times in 1,144 Posts	It's quiz night at the pub, and one team is a man short to enter. There's a guy at the bar on his own, so they decide to ask him of he wants to join them. After introductions talk turns to work and it turns out the new guy is on the bins. Then the quiz starts and the new guy is a revelation, art, science, literature, history, this guy knows the answer to most of the questions. They end up winning the quiz, and having split the prize money, they get chatting again as they celebrate. "With all that knowledge you must be able to get a better job than binman" "Well I used to be a gynacologist, but I gave it up." "Why?" "I wanted to do something less disgusting." "What! So you chose garbage over being a doctor?" "Think about it, most of my patients were either old or infected, often both." "But still, it can't have been that bad." "You ever pulled open a grilled cheese sandwich?" __________________ If you can ID a Model in one of my posts, let me know, I'll update it, and credit you too. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for a favourite, but you don't know her name? There's a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. , that may help. It's for known models only, don't post requests, or you will be 'Mod-ified.'

September 16th, 2017, 01:02 AM	#1174
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	If you listen to hard rock bands from the '80s, it's hair metal. If you listen to them while looking at Playboy, it's hare metal. And if you are a polygamist, it's harem metal! Last edited by AmateurEmale; September 16th, 2017 at 01:02 AM.. Reason: typo

September 17th, 2017, 07:44 AM	#1176
Arturo2nd Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Oakland, California, United States. I have a beautful view of the BART tracks and I-980 Posts: 8,955 Thanks: 103,061 Thanked 151,470 Times in 8,946 Posts	Welcome to Hell! Tonights Social - Reminiscing Old Times with your Exes. Colonoscopys will follow the social. Last edited by Arturo2nd; September 17th, 2017 at 07:48 AM.. Reason: addition

September 18th, 2017, 05:40 PM	#1178
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Why is it Jesse Jackson never got the black vote ? , He promised to create jobs for them if elected president. What`s better than an eager eighteen year old ? , Two drugged nine year olds. What do you call a black hitchhiker ? , Forever stranded. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 15th, 2017, 06:02 PM	#1173
AmateurEmale Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: The 513 Posts: 1,825 Thanks: 16,644 Thanked 15,794 Times in 1,755 Posts	Since this is getting to be a little more gynecological: Q. What's grosser than gross? A. A Bloody Mary with a string attached.

September 17th, 2017, 11:01 AM	#1177
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	My first visit to Harlem went well. Until I disrobed.

September 21st, 2017, 01:50 PM	#1179
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	The missing minutes of the Nixon tapes explains how former President Nixon saved the whole world from an alien attack and how the whole Watergate was a clever cover up. Last edited by ball7; September 21st, 2017 at 03:16 PM..

September 21st, 2017, 04:42 PM	#1180
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell Do you know why I stopped dating transvestites ? , They`re harder to beat up than regular women. My best mate complained about the actors in the porno I lent him having pixilated faces , Well didn't think he`d have enjoyed it as much if knew it was me with his mum. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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