Post your corny jokes - Page 1190

dazza2 · December 20th, 2016, 08:10 PM

As its nearly the end of the year people have been posting apocolyptic statuses like there's no tomorrow

dazza2 · December 20th, 2016, 08:12 PM

My trousers are a bit baggy so i was going to tie all my watch straps together to make a belt, but to be honest it'd probably be a waist of time

**captpike** · December 20th, 2016, 09:24 PM

I have had enough !!!! I'll never help anyone again....... EVER!!!
Either I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid...❄❄❄❄❄...
Yesterday it was so cold, and my heart ran away with me once again. I took a snowman in out of pity. I felt so bad for him, he looked so cold, the poor thing.
But this morning, he had just vanished without a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him. The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor. That's the thank you I get for being good to someone. ❄❄❄❄❄❄

**gedly** · December 20th, 2016, 09:55 PM

I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustman. He does give me a great blowjob though.

**captpike** · December 22nd, 2016, 03:57 AM

**tygrkhat40** · December 22nd, 2016, 03:10 PM

Sean and Paddy were at the pub when Sean asks, "Where's Seamus? I haven't seen him in a while." Paddy says, "Haven't ye heard, he moved to Toronto." "Why'd he do a daft thing like that?," asks Sean. Paddy says, "He saw an advert that said 'Drink Canada Dry.' He took it as a challenge."

**gedly** · December 22nd, 2016, 06:31 PM

My wife and I have just spent our second honeymoon in Chernobyl. She's come back glowing.

**Mal Hombre** · December 22nd, 2016, 06:45 PM

I just found out that I have a doppelganger,I'm beside Myself..

**gmcbee** · December 23rd, 2016, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

I just found out that I have a doppelganger,I'm beside Myself..

If anyone would like to contribute, I'll start a gofundme page to earn money to transport us to Mal Hombre's place, where we can all line up to slap him, then make the transport costs back by charging the general public for the same privilege. We'll probably make enough extra to get a few kegs and some racks of ribs.

Anyone?

~~}[eywood~~ · December 23rd, 2016, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmcbee

If anyone would like to contribute, I'll start a gofundme page to earn money to transport us to Mal Hombre's place, where we can all line up to slap him, then make the transport costs back by charging the general public for the same privilege. We'll probably make enough extra to get a few kegs and some racks of ribs.

Anyone?

I volunteer to hold him in place!

December 20th, 2016, 09:24 PM	#11893
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,303 Thanked 47,305 Times in 1,164 Posts	I have had enough !!!! I'll never help anyone again....... EVER!!! Either I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid...❄❄❄❄❄... Yesterday it was so cold, and my heart ran away with me once again. I took a snowman in out of pity. I felt so bad for him, he looked so cold, the poor thing. But this morning, he had just vanished without a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him. The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor. That's the thank you I get for being good to someone. ❄❄❄❄❄❄ __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 22nd, 2016, 03:57 AM	#11895
captpike Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: TALOS IV or South Carolina Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 80,303 Thanked 47,305 Times in 1,164 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Looking for more of or about her? Due to recent changes I will be limited on my reups lost most of my collection To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 22nd, 2016, 03:10 PM	#11896
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,323 Times in 9,629 Posts	Sean and Paddy were at the pub when Sean asks, "Where's Seamus? I haven't seen him in a while." Paddy says, "Haven't ye heard, he moved to Toronto." "Why'd he do a daft thing like that?," asks Sean. Paddy says, "He saw an advert that said 'Drink Canada Dry.' He took it as a challenge." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 22nd, 2016, 06:45 PM	#11898
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,127 Thanks: 772,558 Thanked 855,631 Times in 57,558 Posts	I just found out that I have a doppelganger,I'm beside Myself.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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December 20th, 2016, 08:10 PM	#11891
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	As its nearly the end of the year people have been posting apocolyptic statuses like there's no tomorrow

December 20th, 2016, 08:12 PM	#11892
dazza2 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK Posts: 192 Thanks: 6,564 Thanked 2,853 Times in 189 Posts	My trousers are a bit baggy so i was going to tie all my watch straps together to make a belt, but to be honest it'd probably be a waist of time

December 20th, 2016, 09:55 PM	#11894
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	I get up when I want except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustman. He does give me a great blowjob though.

December 22nd, 2016, 06:31 PM	#11897
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,879 Thanked 69,305 Times in 3,171 Posts	My wife and I have just spent our second honeymoon in Chernobyl. She's come back glowing.