|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
May 8th, 2017, 04:58 PM | #12211 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention?
Posts: 5,198
Thanks: 79,034
Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts
|
- Standing at the bar when this small Chinese guy walks in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?" He says "No, why the f*** you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?" "No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick."
__________________
Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to ruffroundedges For This Useful Post: | captpike, dbailey, DoctorWho, effCup, gedly, gmcbee, Isegrim, jomama, Mal Hombre, MaxJoker, mrfixit, Mudmonster, rewbear, SpEffects, Tester2010, trailmaster, tygrkhat40, WURZ, zzzz |
May 9th, 2017, 06:21 PM | #12212 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention?
Posts: 5,198
Thanks: 79,034
Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts
|
A Father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. "Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side." Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting..
__________________
Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to ruffroundedges For This Useful Post: | Aaron, bloke57, bp666, captpike, effCup, gedly, Isegrim, jomama, Mal Hombre, MaxJoker, Mudmonster, rewbear, sparky10, SpEffects, Tester2010, trailmaster, tygrkhat40, WURZ |
May 9th, 2017, 07:06 PM | #12213 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,094
Thanks: 8,200
Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts
|
Education is essential
|
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Isegrim For This Useful Post: |
May 10th, 2017, 10:07 PM | #12214 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,234
Thanks: 19,883
Thanked 69,317 Times in 3,171 Posts
|
Of course, I went to a fee paying school. The headmaster paid me a fee to stay away.
|
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post: |
May 10th, 2017, 10:10 PM | #12215 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention?
Posts: 5,198
Thanks: 79,034
Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts
|
A teacher gave her student some homework to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Desert Storm and his plane was hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it would not break and then his parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. He shot fifteen of them with the gun until he ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'till the blade broke and then he killed the last Iraqi with his bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story? "Stay the hell away from Uncle Bob when he's been drinking!
__________________
Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to ruffroundedges For This Useful Post: |
May 11th, 2017, 12:49 AM | #12216 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention?
Posts: 5,198
Thanks: 79,034
Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts
|
- If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. But if a guy does the same thing, then he's gay, definitely gay.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too hi She looked surprised. - A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey girls," says the brunette. "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after their boss. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss. She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
__________________
Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to ruffroundedges For This Useful Post: |
May 11th, 2017, 01:27 PM | #12217 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Unaffordable housing
Posts: 4,923
Thanks: 31,646
Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts
|
Islamic terrorists have begun to attack rural communities by sending in cattle laced with explosives.
A NATO report described the tactic as "a-bomb-in-a-bull". |
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to bloke57 For This Useful Post: |
May 11th, 2017, 01:39 PM | #12218 |
Vintage Idiot
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: History
Posts: 22,136
Thanks: 226,724
Thanked 356,765 Times in 21,631 Posts
|
|
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to effCup For This Useful Post: |
May 11th, 2017, 01:42 PM | #12219 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Unaffordable housing
Posts: 4,923
Thanks: 31,646
Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts
|
|
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to bloke57 For This Useful Post: |
May 11th, 2017, 01:43 PM | #12220 |
Vintage Idiot
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: History
Posts: 22,136
Thanks: 226,724
Thanked 356,765 Times in 21,631 Posts
|
|
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to effCup For This Useful Post: |
|
|