Best Cure for a serious hangover? - Page 13

BLUEDINGO · October 25th, 2011, 10:14 AM

Forget your hangover troubles & a have drink. (You know, the hair of the dog that bit you…only in this case, it’s a rabid Rottweiler!) Yes, doctors, dentists, psychiatrists & eastern mystics agree; so do lawyers, witchdoctors, plumbers, freemasons, nuns, head-hunters, used dildo salesmen, burnt out cult heroes & hospital patients. Anyone will tell you that the best way to obliterate both your hangover & the human personality permanently is to drink alcohol frequently & large quantities.

But how to make this loathsome liquid palatable to your digestive system? Easy; stick it up you’re a$$! But seriously, here are some stunning recipes that you’ll want to try very soon…and hopefully, you might just live to tell about it.

Araldite And Tonic.

Here’s a magic little number that’ll stop you and your fun crowd dead in your tracks. (I recently force fed this one to Eminem & he hasn’t spoken since, so it must be good!)
1. Empty the contents of the convenient Araldite twin-packs into mum’s washing machine. (Don’t bother removing that huge load of dirty nappies.)
2. Next, add an agricultural sized wheelbarrow of Cold-Power, two lightly blackened car batteries, the dog next door, mum’s handbag (remove the cash first), mum, dad & Aunty Brian. Then stir in two mature gum trees & the ex-family lawn-mower.
3. Put the machine onto spin dry cycle for 10 minutes & then serve at 3000°C in Venetian asbestos goblets. (And yes, I was only joking about the tonic.)

Brandy Alexander.

Now many people believe that this traditional Tasmanian brain remover only attains it’s full, true flavour by using an actual Alexander. Not so; I made one with a Daryl the other day & they tasted fine. (Daryl is a schizophrenic.) Anyway, here’s how to do it.
1. You must quieten Daryl (or Alexander -not Bruce), with a quick game of ‘Spin The Shotgun’; make sure he ‘wins.’ (A sawn off pump-action should keep the brains intact.)
2. Place the brains in the blender with 4 litres of marine quality white paint. This provides an excellent base & prevents the other contents from burning through the glass. By this stage, there isn’t a lot left of your ancestral home to choose from, so add the home entertainment centre, all the carpet & the floorboards. Mix in the Kingswood Special, the speedboat & the front lawn. Stir with a brick pier into your backyard's below ground swimming pool; make sure it’s chlorinated water. (I find that salt water gives a bitter aftertaste, unless you’re substituting tequila for the brandy.)
3. The brandy bottle is probably lost somewhere in the rubble, but no matter; the police will have arrived by now. Just tell them you’re a drug addict & they will go lightly on you. In fact, offer them a drink; as they’ll refuse, then offer the drink the policemen.
4. Next, gather together the remaining family heirlooms, the electrical wiring, pots, pans, old boots, the decorative water bison and the rubbish bin so as to carefully blend in. Allow 3 to 5 seconds for it all to clot, then dive in; it’s all yours.

The Bluedingo’s Special.

You’ve all heard the expression, ‘Let’s have one for the road!’ or rather, ‘Lesh ave wun phour thhhe woag!’ There are many variations on this tired cliché, such as: ‘One for the gutter’, as the say in Tibet; ‘Let’s have one for the morgue!’ as in Columbine high school; ‘I think I’m going to be sick!’ as said by Katy Perry during sex; and ‘I’m sorry, but it won’t come up!’ as said by Russel Brand in proving his manhood. But however you say it, wherever you live & whichever god you pray to, this next little number is guaranteed to leave you face down in the mud, even during a drought.
1. Go straight down to your local liquor-mart & bring it home –the liquor-mart. Place carefully in your bedroom so as not to arouse all the other piss-pots in the house. Next, remove all the irate customers & the lifeless body of the owner/manager/licensee. Search the hand-woven shoulder bag of that unshaven new age zombie for any money that he clearly won’t need. There should also be a bottle of combat sherry hidden under his goulamine bead cardigan. (Punishment for this is optional; you may not have time.)
2. Build a large funnel, attaching your face to the narrow end & the liquor-mart to the other, but first remove unwanted roofing materials & masonry; they don’t taste nice.
3. Now take a deep breath, a Bex & a good swig of the combat sherry before immersing your face. Once in, you should begin to feel slightly giddy about…now…and perhaps confident…now, yes, this is normal, you think you could rule the world…now, and…now you feel nothing. Congratulations, you have just drowned internally.

Well, I did say you might live through these drinks; come to think of it, the hangover might be much more preferable...

**otiscleotus** · October 26th, 2011, 06:53 AM

After having done my own experimenting with the kinds of beverages found at www dot bumwine dot com I came to the conclusion that the winos that live on that stuff are just poor souls that having gone through the hangover from those brands once vowed to never suffer through another one; so next time they imbidded in one of those tasty wines they just decided it was least painful to stay drunk on it forever.

**Ennath** · October 27th, 2011, 12:13 PM

Never found anything that really helps. Anyway (since an epic 36-hour hangover), I no longer drink until I get drunk; the moment I really start to feel it, I stop.

**scoundrel** · October 11th, 2014, 03:25 PM

Feel like you're going to die (you shouldn't mix beer and wine in the same session); post here. Remember, you are not really in trouble until, when you think you are going to die, the thought actively cheers you up. Russian vodka might not be the best thing either, though Comrade Palo is still here.

I haven't drunk heavily for many years, though when I was a student it was an integral part of the scene and after all, everyone has to have at least one vice, and I have never smoked. I do have vivid recollections of the consequences of drinking to excess though, because some things you don't forget. I distinctly recall cleaning the floor of my room in student halls after a spectacular technicolour yawn. It took a while, it was about 2am and the halls were still full of wide awake students (Saturday night) and everyone I met as I fetched yet more soap and water commiserated: "Scoundrel, you look like death warmed up..." It was true, as I could see every time I passed a mirror. But I felt fantastic.

I didn't feel quite so good 12 hours later, when I woke up. But the cleaner thnked me for having the good manners to clean up after myself. Two other blokes had the same experience that evening and just went to bed and left it for the cleaner to deal with.

The only thing I could think of to do was to abstain from food and drink cold water most of the next day.

What should I have done?

Estreeter · October 11th, 2014, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scoundrel

What should I have done?

Take the female birth control pill.... You'll be so worried about any bad effects on your body that you'll forget ya had a hangover

Sorry

TheFool · October 11th, 2014, 04:27 PM

Of course the best advice is to drink a lot of water before sleeping but assuming it's too late for that ... Lucozade sport, or any other sports energy drink will rehydrate you and raise your blood sugar. Something like Dextrosol or Kendall Mint Cake (both just sugar basically) will also help. For solid food, scrambled eggs or an omelette are easy to digest as is bread/toast for carbs. Meat takes much longer to digest so I'm sceptical of the traditional fry-up approach.

**rustler** · October 11th, 2014, 04:43 PM

The 'hair of the dog'! Always seemed to work well in my.................. erm,...... very limited experience!

And why shouldn't it, after all they make anti-venom from the poison don't they!

Seriously, a little hair of the dog I find is a good start. A big fry up, no, not unless you want to clean up the technicolour carpet.

The best thing that I have ever had is Underberg! It's brilliant, Kill or cure. It'll either make you feel much better, and quickly too, or you'll talk to God on the big white telephone, almost immediately. Either way you'll feel much better!

Failing that, Alka-Seltzer XS, brilliant stuff! Don't leave home without it!

Right Dr. Rustlers surgery is now closed........the pubs are open!

Cheers!

**billybunter** · October 11th, 2014, 04:44 PM

Sleep and sips off water. You will feel very ill, but it will pass. Next day stay in bed and quaff water.

BB

Estreeter · October 11th, 2014, 04:56 PM

Not meant to be a joke, Vegemite is one of the richest sources of Vitamin B

And that's what's lacking in a dehydrated alcohol filled, sweaty, smelly body

Though I wouldn't know, never tried it but others I know have , all I ever have is gallons if any ice cream and left over pizza

**rustler** · October 11th, 2014, 05:05 PM

The ice cream and the left over pizza sounds ok, but please don't in a drunken stupor mix the two - doesn't bear thinking about!

BTW. I learned about the Underberg when I was in Ireland, where one was either in church (Not me!) or in the pub (Me!). My girlfriend, who was a nurse, always carried a few in her bag when she went back home to Ireland for a few days!

View Poll Results: What your cure for a serious hangover?
Another alcoholic drink	10	8.93%
caffine i.e. tea/coffee	7	6.25%
stay in bed and try & sleep through it	20	17.86%
A big greasy fried breakfast	13	11.61%
A big greasy fried breakfast & another alcoholic drink	9	8.04%
Asprin, painkillers, etc	12	10.71%
a 5km jog and /or a good work out in the gym	7	6.25%
do nothing and suffer it until it ends	13	11.61%
go down the pub and get rat-arsed all over again	6	5.36%
I don't drink - therefore do not know what a hangover is	15	13.39%
Voters: 112. You may not vote on this poll

October 25th, 2011, 10:14 AM	#121
BLUEDINGO Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: TRIGGS, WEST AUSTRALIA Posts: 557 Thanks: 14,092 Thanked 6,429 Times in 538 Posts	Bluedingo's Bar-room Beverages. Forget your hangover troubles & a have drink. (You know, the hair of the dog that bit you…only in this case, it’s a rabid Rottweiler!) Yes, doctors, dentists, psychiatrists & eastern mystics agree; so do lawyers, witchdoctors, plumbers, freemasons, nuns, head-hunters, used dildo salesmen, burnt out cult heroes & hospital patients. Anyone will tell you that the best way to obliterate both your hangover & the human personality permanently is to drink alcohol frequently & large quantities. But how to make this loathsome liquid palatable to your digestive system? Easy; stick it up you’re a$$! But seriously, here are some stunning recipes that you’ll want to try very soon…and hopefully, you might just live to tell about it. Araldite And Tonic. Here’s a magic little number that’ll stop you and your fun crowd dead in your tracks. (I recently force fed this one to Eminem & he hasn’t spoken since, so it must be good!) 1. Empty the contents of the convenient Araldite twin-packs into mum’s washing machine. (Don’t bother removing that huge load of dirty nappies.) 2. Next, add an agricultural sized wheelbarrow of Cold-Power, two lightly blackened car batteries, the dog next door, mum’s handbag (remove the cash first), mum, dad & Aunty Brian. Then stir in two mature gum trees & the ex-family lawn-mower. 3. Put the machine onto spin dry cycle for 10 minutes & then serve at 3000°C in Venetian asbestos goblets. (And yes, I was only joking about the tonic.) Brandy Alexander. Now many people believe that this traditional Tasmanian brain remover only attains it’s full, true flavour by using an actual Alexander. Not so; I made one with a Daryl the other day & they tasted fine. (Daryl is a schizophrenic.) Anyway, here’s how to do it. 1. You must quieten Daryl (or Alexander -not Bruce), with a quick game of ‘Spin The Shotgun’; make sure he ‘wins.’ (A sawn off pump-action should keep the brains intact.) 2. Place the brains in the blender with 4 litres of marine quality white paint. This provides an excellent base & prevents the other contents from burning through the glass. By this stage, there isn’t a lot left of your ancestral home to choose from, so add the home entertainment centre, all the carpet & the floorboards. Mix in the Kingswood Special, the speedboat & the front lawn. Stir with a brick pier into your backyard's below ground swimming pool; make sure it’s chlorinated water. (I find that salt water gives a bitter aftertaste, unless you’re substituting tequila for the brandy.) 3. The brandy bottle is probably lost somewhere in the rubble, but no matter; the police will have arrived by now. Just tell them you’re a drug addict & they will go lightly on you. In fact, offer them a drink; as they’ll refuse, then offer the drink the policemen. 4. Next, gather together the remaining family heirlooms, the electrical wiring, pots, pans, old boots, the decorative water bison and the rubbish bin so as to carefully blend in. Allow 3 to 5 seconds for it all to clot, then dive in; it’s all yours. The Bluedingo’s Special. You’ve all heard the expression, ‘Let’s have one for the road!’ or rather, ‘Lesh ave wun phour thhhe woag!’ There are many variations on this tired cliché, such as: ‘One for the gutter’, as the say in Tibet; ‘Let’s have one for the morgue!’ as in Columbine high school; ‘I think I’m going to be sick!’ as said by Katy Perry during sex; and ‘I’m sorry, but it won’t come up!’ as said by Russel Brand in proving his manhood. But however you say it, wherever you live & whichever god you pray to, this next little number is guaranteed to leave you face down in the mud, even during a drought. 1. Go straight down to your local liquor-mart & bring it home –the liquor-mart. Place carefully in your bedroom so as not to arouse all the other piss-pots in the house. Next, remove all the irate customers & the lifeless body of the owner/manager/licensee. Search the hand-woven shoulder bag of that unshaven new age zombie for any money that he clearly won’t need. There should also be a bottle of combat sherry hidden under his goulamine bead cardigan. (Punishment for this is optional; you may not have time.) 2. Build a large funnel, attaching your face to the narrow end & the liquor-mart to the other, but first remove unwanted roofing materials & masonry; they don’t taste nice. 3. Now take a deep breath, a Bex & a good swig of the combat sherry before immersing your face. Once in, you should begin to feel slightly giddy about…now…and perhaps confident…now, yes, this is normal, you think you could rule the world…now, and…now you feel nothing. Congratulations, you have just drowned internally. Well, I did say you might live through these drinks; come to think of it, the hangover might be much more preferable... __________________ And to quote 'Silence Of The Lambs' Buffalo Bill: "It rubs the lotion on the skin -or else it gets the hose again!"

October 11th, 2014, 03:25 PM	#124
scoundrel Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: England Posts: 26,239 Thanks: 162,401 Thanked 278,502 Times in 26,184 Posts	Hangovers and how to cure them Feel like you're going to die (you shouldn't mix beer and wine in the same session); post here. Remember, you are not really in trouble until, when you think you are going to die, the thought actively cheers you up. Russian vodka might not be the best thing either, though Comrade Palo is still here. I haven't drunk heavily for many years, though when I was a student it was an integral part of the scene and after all, everyone has to have at least one vice, and I have never smoked. I do have vivid recollections of the consequences of drinking to excess though, because some things you don't forget. I distinctly recall cleaning the floor of my room in student halls after a spectacular technicolour yawn. It took a while, it was about 2am and the halls were still full of wide awake students (Saturday night) and everyone I met as I fetched yet more soap and water commiserated: "Scoundrel, you look like death warmed up..." It was true, as I could see every time I passed a mirror. But I felt fantastic. I didn't feel quite so good 12 hours later, when I woke up. But the cleaner thnked me for having the good manners to clean up after myself. Two other blokes had the same experience that evening and just went to bed and left it for the cleaner to deal with. The only thing I could think of to do was to abstain from food and drink cold water most of the next day. What should I have done? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 11th, 2014, 04:43 PM	#127
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	The 'hair of the dog'! Always seemed to work well in my.................. erm,...... very limited experience! And why shouldn't it, after all they make anti-venom from the poison don't they! Seriously, a little hair of the dog I find is a good start. A big fry up, no, not unless you want to clean up the technicolour carpet. The best thing that I have ever had is Underberg! It's brilliant, Kill or cure. It'll either make you feel much better, and quickly too, or you'll talk to God on the big white telephone, almost immediately. Either way you'll feel much better! Failing that, Alka-Seltzer XS, brilliant stuff! Don't leave home without it! Right Dr. Rustlers surgery is now closed........the pubs are open! Cheers! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 11th, 2014, 04:44 PM	#128
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	Sleep and sips off water. You will feel very ill, but it will pass. Next day stay in bed and quaff water. BB __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 26th, 2011, 06:53 AM	#122
otiscleotus Proprietor of the Baulsaglough Nuclear Waste Dump Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Minnebraska Posts: 5,424 Thanks: 26,442 Thanked 103,763 Times in 5,473 Posts	After having done my own experimenting with the kinds of beverages found at www dot bumwine dot com I came to the conclusion that the winos that live on that stuff are just poor souls that having gone through the hangover from those brands once vowed to never suffer through another one; so next time they imbidded in one of those tasty wines they just decided it was least painful to stay drunk on it forever.

October 27th, 2011, 12:13 PM	#123
Ennath Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 6,814 Thanks: 26,902 Thanked 80,771 Times in 6,813 Posts	Never found anything that really helps. Anyway (since an epic 36-hour hangover), I no longer drink until I get drunk; the moment I really start to feel it, I stop.

October 11th, 2014, 04:27 PM	#126
TheFool Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 137 Thanks: 2,781 Thanked 4,941 Times in 135 Posts	Of course the best advice is to drink a lot of water before sleeping but assuming it's too late for that ... Lucozade sport, or any other sports energy drink will rehydrate you and raise your blood sugar. Something like Dextrosol or Kendall Mint Cake (both just sugar basically) will also help. For solid food, scrambled eggs or an omelette are easy to digest as is bread/toast for carbs. Meat takes much longer to digest so I'm sceptical of the traditional fry-up approach.

October 11th, 2014, 04:56 PM	#129
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,891 Times in 60,322 Posts	Not meant to be a joke, Vegemite is one of the richest sources of Vitamin B And that's what's lacking in a dehydrated alcohol filled, sweaty, smelly body Though I wouldn't know, never tried it but others I know have , all I ever have is gallons if any ice cream and left over pizza __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

October 11th, 2014, 05:05 PM	#130
rustler Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: South of the North Pole Posts: 4,977 Thanks: 47,583 Thanked 84,530 Times in 4,955 Posts	The ice cream and the left over pizza sounds ok, but please don't in a drunken stupor mix the two - doesn't bear thinking about! BTW. I learned about the Underberg when I was in Ireland, where one was either in church (Not me!) or in the pub (Me!). My girlfriend, who was a nurse, always carried a few in her bag when she went back home to Ireland for a few days! __________________ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." - Shelley Winters Please read and follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.