The VEF Members Novel

[otokonomidori]

...I suddenly changed to the First Person because I knew that I wouldn't have to put so much descriptive crap in and instead I could restrict the narrative to an internal monologue as the book reviewers like to call it.

But i was too tired to think. I had to get some sleep. And there was something I would have to do when I woke up.....

[Greenman]

You get better pictures with 'descriptive crap' otherwise in the first person its all me me me, or is it I I I? Anyway if you don't like the way the story has begun, then feel free to change it. I just thought a nice murder mystery would release peoples' creative juices-obviously I was wrong.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by Greenman

You get better pictures with 'descriptive crap' otherwise in the first person its all me me me, or is it I I I? Anyway if you don't like the way the story has begun, then feel free to change it. I just thought a nice murder mystery would release peoples' creative juices-obviously I was wrong.

......when all of a sudden, an 8 foot diameter giant chocolate and cream donut came hurtling down the hill, Greenman wasn't looking and splattttttt. Not a pretty sight, Greenman was in mortal danger when blondifan appeared from a phone booth still wearing his scuba gear. Blondi hesitated for a moment, laughed at what seemed a silly situation to be in getting crushed by a donut and called the police and ambulance.

38 minutes and 17 seconds later the police arrived, a little angry at themselves that they stopped on the way to buy their own donuts when in fact at the scene of the appalling crime they had 3 tonnes of free donut.

Could the ghost of GreenSkull have pushed the donut down the hill or was Estreeter just having another nightmare and going too wake up again and have too book another session with his phycopathigist

Nobody knows where this story flows my friends......

To be continued.....

[Night Haunter]

..... Estreeter woke with a start and sat bolt upright, he was covered with sweat and something else.... ''aaargh!.. whats this inside my jimjams!!'' he screamed delving his sweaty palm inside the front of his pyjama bottoms..
Something wet and sticky clung to his fingers as he removed his hand.. he tentatively put his fingers to his nose and sniffed! ''Hmmm Vanilla!'' he exclaimed. Then slowly he stuck out his tongue and tasted a finger! ''Vanilla cream and Chocolate my favourite!'' Once again Estreeter realised he'd been sleep walking and had committed the deadliest sin.. he'd raided the Refridgerator and stuff numerous flavoured donuts down the front of his pin-striped jamas in the vain hope of cooling down his already inflamed testicles... there was only one thing for it, he would have to visit the Professor first thing in the morning......

[Estreeter]

2:39 am in the land down under, Estreeter was hard at work at his desk trying too make sense of what was going on in the forum and earning a moderators complete lack of pay .........As usual he got hungry at that hour and ordered pizza,

He answered a few PM's too blondifan, sweatyhat, ultrawildcat and another PM from a member who seems too be a leech so he disregarded it.

The doorbell rang...........PIZZA IS HERE Estreeter almost yelled out, He went too get it , but then there was nobody at the door Estreeter then went outside too investigate but found nothing.............he then disappeared , so who pressed submit reply for this post ? Was it the leech he disregarded ? A member he recently banned ? Did palo5 actually invade Oz and take him hostage ? Help him brothers

[TCO95]

...he screamed as he awoke with a start. Wow talk about your strange dreams. No more pepperoni pizza before bed for me. "In fact" he yelled "no more pizza at all. From this day forth it's fresh fruit and vegetables, daily exercise and definitely no porn." Completely dismayed by his friends declaration Blondifan walloped him a good one upside the head with a frozen 'roo. As his life flashed before his eyes, replaying every scene ever done by Raquel Darrian, he asked "Did she ever do anal?" In disgust Comrade Palo5, who earlier had invaded Oz, picked up the frozen 'roo and ...

[Warren G]

..slapped it into the frying pan. "I just love the smell of roasting roo in the morning", Estreeter exclaimed, licking his chops. "To hell with this health food, fresh fruit nonsense...slice up that roo and scatter it on a pizza! It's meat and madness for me, brothers"!

Palo stepped back...as if by premonition, he could sense what was about to transpire. Estreeter attacked the roo-pie with a hysterical glee usually attributed to sociopaths. Chunks of cheese, spatters of sauce, and remnants of roo flew about the room in wild abandon, as he ravaged the pizza, a crazed, wild-eyed glaze on his grease sodden face. As he swallowed the last bite, he turned his maniacal glare to poor Palo...Palo..who now felt himself frozen, unable to move, unable to scream, his life flashing before his eyes, when suddenly..the door burst open, and...

[Sir Spender]

In walked Ant & Dec.
`I divvenna whats ganning on here bonny lads`, they exclaimed in unison.( & their bestest Geordie)

`This is the bushtucker trial, for Celebrities only, & who the f*ck are you two`s anyway?

Realizing that Estreeter was having some difficulties understanding what was happening at that moment ( either trying to translate the jovial North-east accent of the new arrivals, or was it the unpleasant taste of fried roo`s testicles ? , he wasn`t sure), but seizing his chance, Palo burst out of the room, knocking over 2 cameramen in the process.

`Fuck me` said one cameraman ( who was actually a woman, so technically a `camerawoman` ) , as her kit crashed to the floor.

`not now love if you don’t mind` replied Palo, escaping as quick as he could.

` But I`ll give it a go`, said Estreeter, ` if the offer still stands? `

Meanwhile Palo is racing across a bridge , with sparkly fireworks going off all around him, , and at the other side, there waiting for him, wearing nothing but a pair of stilettos , was……….

[TCO95]

His childhood hero Nikolai Volkoff, accompanied by his manager Mr. Fuji. Nikolai was angry as he had been offered a "Little Joey" by the street vendor and was hopping mad when Ms. Hetherington had failed to arrive. Finishing what he was sure was rat-on-stick he flung the kebob skewer to the ground and went in search of Vodka. Instead he found a shop keeper, who having arrived from Glasgow only weeks before, spoke little Australian and no Russian. After much shouting and cursing, some of it done by the customer, the now Mad Russian left with a bottle of plonk. But not before extracting an apology from the shop keeper who's much repeated "Thank you Mr. Numpty" placated the wrestler.

Arriving at the airport a little wobbly from drink, Mr Fuji slurred a request for "Two tickets to Wellington." The Texan behind the counter mistook this as "Helsinki, Finland" and printed the tickets. While boarding the plane the two men noticed ...

[RjG57]

...........a pussy. It was black with thick unkept matted hair and had what seemed like a glue-like substance
over some areas of fur, areas of pink skin were also visible. The black minge was hiding between two legs and would occasionally flash into view when ever the legs moved due to the approach of a stranger or the possible welcoming feel or pat from a friend. The legs were strong almost muscular and were well suited for taking on the sometimes heavy exersion of pulling in and out and to and froing which comes with airport furniture.
The minge was suddenly distracted as two unknown legs neared its hiding place, they belonged to a tall busty 38DD blonde woman, her name was SaRenna and she had just arrived from..........