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Old 02-04-2017, 02:55 PM   #12331
gedly
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Originally Posted by jafad View Post
Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night.
He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
I once went on a course on how to deal with negative emotions. I just had to leave. There was just so much bad feelings.
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Old 02-05-2017, 06:13 AM   #12332
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Originally Posted by PJayBr View Post
Yesterday I saw a car with a boot sticker saying, "I'm a vet, so I can drive like an animal."

It was at that moment that I suddenly realised just how many gynaecologists there are on the roads.
Proctologists. In my area, it's proctologists.
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Old 02-05-2017, 09:43 AM   #12333
effCup
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"I'm a vet, so I can drive like an animal."
War can do that to many folks. Funny, though, how they don't simply drive like a bullet-train driver?
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:46 PM   #12334
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I asked my greengrocer why his lettuce stocks seemed so low, and said that three quarters of his icebergs were under the counter....
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Old 02-07-2017, 02:50 AM   #12335
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Did you hear about the new Fleetwood Mac cover band?
Sweetwood Mac.
Fronted by Stevia Nicks, of course...

<running and dodging the tomatoes...>
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:00 AM   #12336
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I've just got a dog that can do magic trickes.

It's a Labracadabra!!!
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Old 02-08-2017, 02:02 AM   #12337
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Why did the anvil have to go to AA?



because it was always getting hammered
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:37 AM   #12338
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Overnight, there was a break in at the Cineworld at Hemel Hempstead. Police estimate that the thieves got away with some 1500 worth of goods: one large popcorn, two hot dogs and a medium diet Coke.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:46 AM   #12339
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What do you call an unpredictable camera

Loose Canon
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Old 02-08-2017, 10:18 AM   #12340
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
What do you call an unpredictable camera

Loose Canon
My kid learned to play Pachelbel's Canon in music class.
He likes to call it Taco Bell's Cannon. He's goofy like that.

Last edited by gmcbee; 02-08-2017 at 10:29 AM..
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