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Old 04-01-2017, 05:33 PM   #12331
bloke57
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What's the difference between a dirty transport terminus and a shrimp with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
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Old 04-01-2017, 05:37 PM   #12332
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Wink

The Mrs has been walking on air smiling happy ,
After I told her this morning she was beautiful ,
and how I loved her with all my heart ,

Don't think she's realises what date it is today.
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Old 04-03-2017, 11:19 AM   #12333
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A male and female antenna met on a roof one night,

They fell in love and got married.
The wedding ceremony wasn’t much to speak about, but the reception was excellent.
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Old 04-06-2017, 04:23 PM   #12334
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-Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

-What is the astronaut's favorite place on the computer?
The space bar.

-What exam do young witches have to pass?
The spell-ing test.

-Who made King Arthur's round table?
Sir Cumferance.

-What was the most popular dance in1776?
The Indepen-dance.

-There's a new band called 1023megabytes.
They haven't had any gigs yet.
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Old 04-06-2017, 05:40 PM   #12335
bloke57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruffroundedges View Post
-Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
I hope it can work them out.
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Old 04-06-2017, 08:55 PM   #12336
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I was out on the front stoop when a man came by walking the dog. It made me sadly nostalgic. I never was any good with yo-yos.
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Old 04-06-2017, 08:59 PM   #12337
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-Bob to Joe, "What the heck, Joe, I’ve just heard your dog meowing. How come?!"
Ah yeah, that’s OK! He is just learning a second language."

-Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a jungle cat?
Chances are it is a cheetah.

-Two cats are sitting in front of bird’s cage and observe a newly arrived green canary.
One cat says to the other, “It really is a strange color for a bird. Maybe he’s not ripe yet.”
- What did the cat say when she was told the canary is off limits? You’ve gotta be kitten me.

-Have you heard about the cat who climbed the Himalayas?
She was a renowned sher-paw.
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Old 04-07-2017, 03:56 AM   #12338
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruffroundedges View Post
-There's a new band called 1023megabytes.
They haven't had any gigs yet.
Oh, now.
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Old 04-07-2017, 11:26 AM   #12339
effCup
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruffroundedges View Post
-Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a jungle cat?
Chances are it is a cheetah.
I'd play. Cheetahs don't live in jungles, only savannahs.
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Old 04-09-2017, 09:35 AM   #12340
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Last night I was in a bar when me and a friend got in an argument with some tough looking guys, my mate quickly whispered to me "Let's pretend we're the police".. Long story short, they kicked the shit out of us before we even got through the first verse of "Roxanne".
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