Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum

Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies

Follow Vintage Erotica Forum on Twitter
Best Porn Sites Meet Our Girls Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-17-2017, 11:38 PM   #12291
gedly
Vintage Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,149
Thanks: 7,789
Thanked 41,906 Times in 2,027 Posts
gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+
Default

So the mechanic said to me. "It's 100 to replace the seal in your car". Do I look stupid? I never kept an aquatic mammal in my car in the first place.
gedly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post:
Old 03-18-2017, 01:14 PM   #12292
tygrkhat40
Long Suffering Bills Fan
 
tygrkhat40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The City of Good Neighbors
Posts: 8,163
Thanks: 245,091
Thanked 104,623 Times in 8,140 Posts
tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+
Default

...the mechanic said that I'd blown a seal. I told him to fix it and leave my private life out of it.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

tygrkhat40 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to tygrkhat40 For This Useful Post:
Old 03-18-2017, 04:39 PM   #12293
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,466
Thanks: 27,270
Thanked 69,198 Times in 2,427 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

"Of course, as an 18 year old, I spend a lot of my time on Facebook.
But are any of you friends with a surprise Facebook racist?
Might be an old school friend or someone that you haven't seen for a while and
than bursts out of nowhere with a racist Facebook post.
I saw one of these things recently, it was an image of a Muslim woman in a burka,
and written across it was:

"IF A MUSLIM WOMAN IS ALLOWED TO WEAR A BURKA, THEN HOW COME I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR A BIG WHITE HOOD AND BURN A CROSS ON AN ETHNIC MINORITY'S FRONT LAWN? IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD! IT'S ONE RULE FOR THE IMMIGRANTS AN ANOTHER FOR THE IMPERIAL GRAND WIZARDS! AND IF EXPRESSING THAT MAKES ME A RACIST IN THE EYES OF THE LIBERALS, THAN SO BE IT!"

I thought; "Mate, that makes you a racist in the eyes of other racists."

I was shocked, I didn't even know my grandma had Facebook!

Jack Carroll
__________________
All credits to original posters
All members please note: Imagebam and Imgbox will NOT be shutting down services. Both are now open once again and all services are available.
photoflex is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post:
Old 03-18-2017, 10:31 PM   #12294
photoflex
Vintage Member
 
photoflex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 2,466
Thanks: 27,270
Thanked 69,198 Times in 2,427 Posts
photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+photoflex 350000+
Default

Do You Have A Dirty Mind?

Just take a good look at this picture...



...if you see anything else than wheat heads, then yes, you've got a dirty mind!
__________________
All credits to original posters
All members please note: Imagebam and Imgbox will NOT be shutting down services. Both are now open once again and all services are available.
photoflex is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post:
Old 03-19-2017, 09:40 AM   #12295
gedly
Vintage Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,149
Thanks: 7,789
Thanked 41,906 Times in 2,027 Posts
gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+gedly 175000+
Default

So I whispered to my wife, "Let's have a feel of your lovely tits", as I gently squeezed her firm buns and ran my fingers over her hard, pert nipples. She giggled and whispered back, "We've forgotten the coffee. Can you dash back to the aisle before I get to the front of the queue?"
gedly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post:
Old 03-19-2017, 10:11 PM   #12296
otokonomidori
緑の男
 
otokonomidori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Glasgow, UK.
Posts: 5,231
Thanks: 28,907
Thanked 76,771 Times in 5,619 Posts
otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+
Default

I was a shit father. I couldn't afford to buy my son much for Christmas.

He went to his mate's house one Boxing Day. The mate was dressed in a new cowboy suit and showed off his new BMX, Scalextric, Hornby railway set, Trivial Pursuit, selection boxes etc.

My son exclaimed "Fuck me! You're one lucky bastard! I wish I had leukaemia!"
otokonomidori is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to otokonomidori For This Useful Post:
Old 03-19-2017, 10:53 PM   #12297
gmcbee
Vintage Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus.
Posts: 965
Thanks: 3,493
Thanked 8,391 Times in 952 Posts
gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+gmcbee 25000+
Default

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.
gmcbee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to gmcbee For This Useful Post:
Old 03-20-2017, 07:58 PM   #12298
otokonomidori
緑の男
 
otokonomidori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Glasgow, UK.
Posts: 5,231
Thanks: 28,907
Thanked 76,771 Times in 5,619 Posts
otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+otokonomidori 350000+
Default

Police came to my door today holding a picture of my wife.

"Is this your wife sir?" the copper asked. 'Yes' I answered.

"I'm afraid it looks like she's been run over by a bus" he said.

"I know" said I, "but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids!"
otokonomidori is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2017, 09:01 PM   #12299
bloke57
Vintage Member
 
bloke57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,559
Thanks: 11,145
Thanked 25,767 Times in 2,568 Posts
bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+bloke57 100000+
Default

My wife is going to be a mummy very soon now.

I've only got her head left to wrap.
bloke57 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to bloke57 For This Useful Post:
Old 03-21-2017, 06:24 PM   #12300
petvictor
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 19
Thanks: 306
Thanked 241 Times in 17 Posts
petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+petvictor 1000+
Default

Paddy goes to the building site dressed as a Red Indian,Mick says, "Why are you dressed like that ?,,Paddy says, Well i heard the boss say he was going to sack all the cowboys,,,
petvictor is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to petvictor For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 12:47 AM.






vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.6.1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.