? for gay members- Scarry story too...

[anklebiter]

So yesterday I was on the road and needed to poop. I was near a metro park, and was ready to eat lunch too. "I know, I'll use the bathroom and have a nice lunch by the river".

I see the bathroom stall had no door, but there was nobody around, and it was clean. About 30 seconds after I was fully committed, I hear this car pull up. Sure enough, some dude walks in and immediately starts chatting.I make it clear I don't want to talk so he walks into my stall, looks me in the eye and asks another question.
From the sitting position I pushed him away and told him to back the F up. I promised if I needed to attack with my pants down it would be extra bad for him. Meanwhile, I'm trying like hell to finish and pull my pants up when he steps back for one more peek.
I jumped off the throne, pants still down, and went for his throat.He got away, and I couldn't give chase till I got my pants up. Quick bastard got away....

The park ranger pulled up as I was going spaz, and took my report. I'm like " Screw the report, chase that fucker down"!!!!!
He radioed someone, but the car got away clean. I gave the report, and that's that. I doubt anything will ever happen.

I know, I said I had a question...


What's the deal here? How do you fellas get off walking in on a stranger? Is there some secret bathroom ritual I accidentally made myself part of? In retrospect, I remember hearing bathroom stories ( George Michael, Pee Wee Herman, etc.)

Why the hell wouldn't no mean no?, and do you consider it OK to just walk right in a guy's stall?
Jesus Christ, even if I did want gay sex in a public toilet, I would at least want an introduction first?
God Dammit!!!!!!

[BlueberryBuck]

Originally Posted by anklebiter

So yesterday I was on the road and needed to poop. I was near a metro park, and was ready to eat lunch too. "I know, I'll use the bathroom and have a nice lunch by the river".

I see the bathroom stall had no door, but there was nobody around, and it was clean. About 30 seconds after I was fully committed, I hear this car pull up. Sure enough, some dude walks in and immediately starts chatting.I make it clear I don't want to talk so he walks into my stall, looks me in the eye and asks another question.
From the sitting position I pushed him away and told him to back the F up. I promised if I needed to attack with my pants down it would be extra bad for him. Meanwhile, I'm trying like hell to finish and pull my pants up when he steps back for one more peek.
I jumped off the throne, pants still down, and went for his throat.He got away, and I couldn't give chase till I got my pants up. Quick bastard got away....

The park ranger pulled up as I was going spaz, and took my report. I'm like " Screw the report, chase that fucker down"!!!!!
He radioed someone, but the car got away clean. I gave the report, and that's that. I doubt anything will ever happen.

I know, I said I had a question...


What's the deal here? How do you fellas get off walking in on a stranger? Is there some secret bathroom ritual I accidentally made myself part of? In retrospect, I remember hearing bathroom stories ( George Michael, Pee Wee Herman, etc.)

Why the hell wouldn't no mean no?, and do you consider it OK to just walk right in a guy's stall?
Jesus Christ, even if I did want gay sex in a public toilet, I would at least want an introduction first?
God Dammit!!!!!!

First of all-YOU back up a bit because what you are saying goes way past offensive. Think about it some more please - and then don't assign blame to every gay person on Earth for the actions of one psychopath. He sure as heck does not represent me or any others I know and if he did the same to me I'd have felt the same way as would any number of the thousands of sane gay people I've know in my life. There are plenty of crazy straight people out there too, that doesn't mean each of you are. If I can learn that after a life of torment from 'you side' then you can open your eyes and learn it too having only had this one bad experience. I'm sorry you had such an encounter but it was the exception-not the rule. Most gay people are not anything like that person, anymore than you are like a rapist or molester. It's honestly offensive to me in this day and age that I'd still have to defend my 'people' against the actions of one deranged nut that just happens to be a homosexual.

And for crying out loud..Pee Wee Herman was wanking by himself in a porno theater to a straight movie. George Michael wasn't imposing himself on anyone for that matter, he was looking for sex in a public place yes-but he wasn't going into the loo as someone is taking a crap and not taking no for an answer. He was at a urinal and a guy came over and pulled it out flirting and he responded and got arrested, may not be great but it's not what happened to you. There is a subculture of people finding sex in public places that stems from years of hiding and doing things on the 'down low' or whatever but those people are just looking for each other and not you. And certainly not while you are going number 2. Judge them if you are so perfect, but remember they also aren't what you encountered. Not even close.

[anklebiter]

Hey Blueberry, please accept my sincere apology. I know better than to stereotype all gays. I was mixing fresh rage with vodka, and as I was typing, I was only getting madder. I have gay friends, and I know the gay community, same as the straight folks, have deviant subcultures that the rest don't have an answer for.

That said, I know there is that deviant subculture, and I am trying to direct my question to those people.I know this goes on in parks, I know it happens in adult theaters, and I worked part time in a porno shop years ago, and I certainly saw the "intruders" just walk into someones booth expecting an encounter.Dozens of times I had to ask people to leave.

So, If you partake in that type of meeting, what are you thinking? Because someone is in a certain place you have the right to act sexually aggressive? And like I asked before, is there a level of expectation that goes on if a person is somewhere?

In the adult bookstore, NEVER would a woman walk in on a guy. If a guy walked in on a woman, he'd be arrested for assault, but this community of gays thought it was normal activity. I just want to understand why?

[crimpo]

You are assuming this guy is part of a 'community'. Seems just as likely he's a lone operator. Either way - he needs to be caught and stopped.

Blueberry - in all honesty I think the OP had a bit of an excuse for over reacting. This event could have ended very badly.

[hifive]

Anklebiter, the issue is unfortunately not black and white nor simple nor does it fall into one category. Some people just don't know the meaning of 'no'. They think it means 'try harder'. Ask yourself how many times when a woman said no did you think she was just playing hard to get and tried again. Perhaps you've never done this yourself but you might know other men who have. I have talked with many women who have had this kind of experience. I have also been on the receiving end of this kind of behavior and I don't like it one bit, whether it's a public place or a private date - when I say no I mean no and that is not someone's cue to try harder.

This is not a green light to react with violence however. Many men were unfortunately raised to believe not only that it is okay to beat up gays but that they should be beaten up because after all they're just all fags and perverts and have no place in decent society. Though times have changed this program still runs subliminally and subconsciously in many men just the way fear of blacks used to (and unfortunately still does) in white society. And back in the day one could beat up a "fag" and get away with it because that was amazingly an acceptable action. Thankfully it isn't 'acceptable' anymore but it still goes on every single day.

As for there being some "community" of gays that engages in this type of behavior, please toss that idea into the garbage. Yes, there are lots of gays who engage in public park and restroom sex and for many reasons. But there are just as many straight men who are part of this scene who are looking for sex on the DL with other men and want it totally anonymous. I personally have had many a wedding banded guy blow me in my time. For many men the public scene is the only outlet they have for sex with other men. Having just completed a long road trip there were many places (like out in the middle of Wyoming for example) where the only possible chance of a hookup was at the nearest highway rest stop because hardly anybody actually lived there.

This guy's actions were completely inappropriate and you had absolutely every right to be pissed. I would have been. I agree with the other posters though that this guy was an individual who didn't respect your (or probably anybody else's) boundaries. You shouldn't label him as part of any group other than that. Most guys I know who are into public sex are discreet and respectful of others, and this guy could even have been married with kids for all anyone knows. You yourself know from experience that there is that subset of people of all kinds who just can't take no for an answer and violate others' boundaries. They ruin it for everyone.

Oddly many public men's restrooms have the stall doors taken off for the sole reason of preventing 'homosexual' activity from happening - but obviously it doesn't. It just encourages others who are so inclined to approach you. If you'd have had a stall door that latched allowing you to do your business in private the whole incident would probably never have occurred. At best he might have sat down in the next stall and stuck his foot over into yours or something but your privacy wouldn't have been violated in the way it was. I have never understood the removal of stall doors in men's restrooms. It's just plain stupid and I myself hate being exposed that way while I'm on the toilet.

To answer your questions:

"So, If you partake in that type of meeting, what are you thinking? Because someone is in a certain place you have the right to act sexually aggressive? And like I asked before, is there a level of expectation that goes on if a person is somewhere?"

For some people the answer is yes. Adult theatres/bookstores, parks and public restrooms are the three main venues for public sex. Many men have expectations that if you're at one of these places (and especially if it is known as a hot action spot) then you must know the score or are even there specifically to find some action. It doesn't give them the right to act sexually agressive or have those expecations, but it's just how they think because this is part of their world.

Why some people engage in this behavior is another complex answer. For some, it's the thrill of doing something taboo and of being seen or "caught". For others it's the danger factor. The danger of putting themselves at risk of being arrested or even being assaulted is a high stakes gamble that can be a very powerful aphrodisiac for some. For others they just like the total anonymity of public sex - it's quick, to the point and you don't even have to talk to the other person. It's sex at its most basic level. Wham bam without the thank you ma'am. And for others it is the only outlet they have for sex with other men. Most of these fall into the closeted and married types who can't be open in their private world about their same sex needs, so they go to an anonymous public location (which seems to make little sense, but there it is). And some people just simply like sex in public places with total strangers.

One could go on and on but I hope this gives some insights at least.

I also have to address Crimpo's comment. Perhaps you had a bit of an excuse for over reacting and the situation could have indeed ended very badly but you wouldn't have been the one hurt. The other guy could have been hurt badly (or even killed if your anger had gotten that out of control) and you would probably be facing charges of assault or murder despite the other guy's actions. So I'm glad for both of you that things didn't end that way.

To anyone who is ever approached in a public place: a simple "no thanks " or "not interested" usually does the trick. Be annoyed if it annoys you but let it go. Unfortunately sometimes a firmer verbal response is required. If necessary scream your head off at the top of your lungs if you need to get him to back off (and hopefully this will scare him off as well) but never threaten or engage in physical violence. In the end it is likely you who will pay the price for it.

Whether or not sex in public places should or shouldn't go on unfortunately doesn't change the fact that it does and sooner or later I think we all run up against it in some form. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to deal with it. We can only try to keep a good head on our own shoulders - most especially when others can't.

[chupachups]

hope you washed your hands before eating

[billybunter]

Originally Posted by anklebiter

So yesterday I was on the road and needed to poop. I was near a metro park, and was ready to eat lunch too. "I know, I'll use the bathroom and have a nice lunch by the river".

I see the bathroom stall had no door, but there was nobody around, and it was clean. About 30 seconds after I was fully committed, I hear this car pull up. Sure enough, some dude walks in and immediately starts chatting.I make it clear I don't want to talk so he walks into my stall, looks me in the eye and asks another question.
From the sitting position I pushed him away and told him to back the F up. I promised if I needed to attack with my pants down it would be extra bad for him. Meanwhile, I'm trying like hell to finish and pull my pants up when he steps back for one more peek.
I jumped off the throne, pants still down, and went for his throat.He got away, and I couldn't give chase till I got my pants up. Quick bastard got away....

The park ranger pulled up as I was going spaz, and took my report. I'm like " Screw the report, chase that fucker down"!!!!!
He radioed someone, but the car got away clean. I gave the report, and that's that. I doubt anything will ever happen.

I know, I said I had a question...


What's the deal here? How do you fellas get off walking in on a stranger? Is there some secret bathroom ritual I accidentally made myself part of? In retrospect, I remember hearing bathroom stories ( George Michael, Pee Wee Herman, etc.)

Why the hell wouldn't no mean no?, and do you consider it OK to just walk right in a guy's stall?
Jesus Christ, even if I did want gay sex in a public toilet, I would at least want an introduction first?
God Dammit!!!!!!

Fit some doors for a start. Don't engage knock him out. Then have a word in his ear

[pharoahegypt]

I had a bad experience due to a toilet door once... but was due to a dodgy lock rather than no door at all. sometimes, when you need to go, you need to go; as i did during a visit to the largest/newest hospital in my city. i thought the door was secure, but with the cheap wobbling dividers shaking each time someone came in or out the toilets, and with me needing to take longer than i had intended; i had just 'wiped', and had stood up to pull up my trousers, when the cubicle door swung open; and i stood staring back at a female cleaner, mopping outside my cubicle at just the wrong time, as i still had my tackle hanging out in front of me......

It was an 'interesting' three hours in the hospital's police suite, where i had to convince two officers, one of each sex if it matters; that i wasn't no sick flasher; and had just chosen to finish my shit at a bad time; and that it was the cubicle doors that needed hanging more securely, and not me...!!!! After finally getting them to allow me to show them the offending door, and how badly the partition walls moved when they opened or closed the door; they saw sense; and i was let go with a stern warning (they said 'piece of advice') to choose some other place to take a dump the next time.......

Worst thing was, i had waited three months for my appointment, and missed it due to shoddy cheap workmanship...... now i gotta wait another three months and go back again... id rather shit my pants than use their toilets again though,..... so i hope they've got a pack of wet wipes handy for then...!!!!

[crimpo]

hifive - I was perhaps too laconic for clarity. You make good points. All I will question is your attitude to taking 'no' for an answer. In this scenario I'd have thought it was essential. I don't know what this man's story is and I'm really not judgmental. However, if he keeps acting in this way there is every chance he will get himself badly messed up or he will seriously mess someone else up. Its really not defensible.

[Foxbark]

Not wishing to tread on too many toes here, but how can anyone possibly ever associate sexual activity with a unknown, strange male caught in mid-defecation?
Isn't the thought (and smell) enough to revolt?
- I cannot speak for gays, as I've never been that way inclined, but isn't it a universal passion-killer - that elicits deep-seated limbic system disgust, that 'overrides' the libido switch?