Most absurd argument with GF, wife, etc. - Page 2

**sydney1** · January 7th, 2011, 12:58 AM

Whilst holidaying in Itay, jumped into the car one beautiful morning, feeling ace after purchasing some rather tasty Tramezzino's (Excellent Italian sarny's) from the camp-site deli; put them on the dashboard for safe-keeping, where Ms Sidney1 espies them..."What's that?" she cries accusingly.
I say in a noncommital reply:"Oh, they had an offer on at the deli on the camp-site and they're really good". Cue major strop, ,much profrane language ect.. Then the immortal question: "You know I don't like sandwiches, why did you buy them?"

Followed by:" I thought that we were going to go to a ristorante to eat"

20 minutes of Frozen silence later: "What's in them?" I told Ms Sidney the contents to keep the peace.. "Can I have a bite?" said she, O.K. said I and passed her the bag with the sarny's in. Concentrating on avoiding pyschotic Italian drivers, I asked for the bag of sarny's back after ten minutes of her hissy-fit. I received an empy paper bag, senza sandwiches.

"Where's my f******g sandwiches?" demanded I.. "Oh, they were really nice and I couldn't help myself and I ate them", "What, both of them?" "Yeah!"

At that moment, it was the closest I've ever come to commiting G.B.H.

oden · January 7th, 2011, 01:42 AM

bit of a stupid one, but did end up with her in a strop for a week

ex mrs ) "can you put petrol in the car ?
me ) "yeah ill get it when i go out"

2 hours later i come back and she heads out with the car

crack open a beer start watching tv, she comes barrelling through the front door.........

ex mrs) "thought you said you would fill the car up with petrol"
me) "i did put it in"

ex mrs) " well the fuel needle is reading zero"
me) "did you start the car when you seen the needle at zero ?"

ex mrs) "fuck you arsehole" *storms out*
me) *howling with laughter*

she ignored me for a week, and i was away for 3 weeks after as i was a truck driver, shoulda divorced her arse sooner

**keefriff** · January 7th, 2011, 02:16 AM

All of them but especially the last one.

Most absurd....that's tough. Once my ex picked up a movie for us to view one pleasant night. After watching 30 minutes of it I expressed my opinion that it was a pile of compete dung. You would have thought she was the writer, producer, director and star of the movie with the way she reacted.

X: I picked it up so that you and I could enjoy it together!
ME: But I am not enjoying it. In fact it sucks.
X: Spending time with me sucks?!!
ME: No sweetheart love of my life, the movie sucks. It has nothing to do with you. I just don't like the movie.
X: That's not what you said! (Crying...followed by slamming doors....and dialing phone for a call to Mom to tell her what an a-hole I am)

Didn't speak to me for two days after that. God I am glad she is out of my life.

Dave666 · January 7th, 2011, 09:15 AM

My ex-wife accusing me of having an affair with every woman in the office??!. When I went out to see a band it was because I was meeting someone, including when I saw a band with the bloke she worked with. The argument would start first thing in the morning continue in the car to work (we worked in the same office) at mid day I would get a phone call asking "what I had been up to" and her face would appear in the door window at regular intervals during the day. This would then continue in the car on the way home and for the rest of the evening. If I worked overtime it was apparently so I could shag other women in the office. This cumulated in her phoning up and accusing a very suprised workmate of having an affair with me suprised because she wasn't aware of this affair. Needeless to say that is why she is my ex-wife. "Can I play with madness?"

Estreeter · January 7th, 2011, 09:38 AM

Many of us have more than likely had this one or similar

Enemy Does this look good on me ?
Me Everything looks good on ya, but nothing on ya looks even better

(being truthful and nice)
Enemy You're just sayin' that
Me No I'm not, you asked for my opinion so I gave ya an answer
Enemy If you're not going to answer truthfully, then don't answer at all
Me So what you're asking me to do is tell ya it looks terrible.....OK it's terrible then.
Enemy Get out

End of discussion

, for the rest of the day

Peau Peep · January 7th, 2011, 11:36 AM

lol at all the answers on this thread!

I can imagine me and my missus in all the situations mentioned!

Women eh? Never, EVER try to second guess them.

They are all mental, this is a known fact.

But they are lovely as well.

buggeration · January 7th, 2011, 12:42 PM

When I'm shopping for clothes I aways ask the wife: 'Do I like that?'

**HugoHackenbush** · January 7th, 2011, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peau Peep

lol at all the answers on this thread!

I can imagine me and my missus in all the situations mentioned!

Women eh? Never, EVER try to second guess them.

They are all mental, this is a known fact.

But they are lovely as well.

LOL. For those of us who are older it gets even worse.

I took a script to the chemist to get it filled.
He looked at me and said, "They give this to menopausal women."
"Yes, it's for my wife. See the name on the script?"
"Ah yes. But what has the Doctor prescribed for you?"
" A helmet." I replied.

**vo1v0d** · October 8th, 2012, 02:47 PM

Due to lapses in memory and general cantankerousness I tend to be the guilty party in absurd arguments.
Me; we are not, as in no fuckin way, going down the pub tonight.
She- What do you mean ' tonight'?
Me - We were there last night
She -last night you were a hundred miles away with wotsisface
Me- Oh yeah...........the night before
She - The night before I was at a gig with my brother and you were at your parents
Me - Oh yeah...............well the night before that
She - I went to a concert with my mother and you had a chinese meal with mates who dont drink.
Me - Oh yeah..............well we still aint going to that fuckin pub again tonight

There were a few times when I knew she was better than I deserved. How many women would let me get away with the fact that I had forgotten we had not seen eachother for three days?

**billybunter** · October 8th, 2012, 02:47 PM

I now refuse to go shopping with birds. Always ends in a row. How can they spend all day at it

I retire to the pub, though I only drink soft drinks now. Then she appears with loads of bags and bores me with every bloody detail.

January 7th, 2011, 02:16 AM	#13
keefriff Torn and Frayed Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: The 612 Posts: 7,025 Thanks: 79,624 Thanked 131,668 Times in 5,993 Posts	All of them but especially the last one. Most absurd....that's tough. Once my ex picked up a movie for us to view one pleasant night. After watching 30 minutes of it I expressed my opinion that it was a pile of compete dung. You would have thought she was the writer, producer, director and star of the movie with the way she reacted. X: I picked it up so that you and I could enjoy it together! ME: But I am not enjoying it. In fact it sucks. X: Spending time with me sucks?!! ME: No sweetheart love of my life, the movie sucks. It has nothing to do with you. I just don't like the movie. X: That's not what you said! (Crying...followed by slamming doors....and dialing phone for a call to Mom to tell her what an a-hole I am) Didn't speak to me for two days after that. God I am glad she is out of my life. __________________ You Can't Always Get What You Want But If You Follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. You Just Might Find You Get What You Need To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 7th, 2011, 09:38 AM	#15
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,890 Times in 60,322 Posts	Many of us have more than likely had this one or similar Enemy Does this look good on me ? Me Everything looks good on ya, but nothing on ya looks even better (being truthful and nice) Enemy You're just sayin' that Me No I'm not, you asked for my opinion so I gave ya an answer Enemy If you're not going to answer truthfully, then don't answer at all Me So what you're asking me to do is tell ya it looks terrible.....OK it's terrible then. Enemy Get out End of discussion , for the rest of the day __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 7th, 2011, 11:36 AM	#16
Peau Peep Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: The Sunny South Coast of England Posts: 653 Thanks: 1,960 Thanked 5,859 Times in 612 Posts	lol at all the answers on this thread! I can imagine me and my missus in all the situations mentioned! Women eh? Never, EVER try to second guess them. They are all mental, this is a known fact. But they are lovely as well. __________________ A porn website on which I can talk about football. I've died and gone to heaven.

January 7th, 2011, 12:42 PM	#17
buggeration Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Halfway between here and there! Posts: 296 Thanks: 281 Thanked 2,510 Times in 277 Posts	When I'm shopping for clothes I aways ask the wife: 'Do I like that?' __________________ We don't grow up; we just grow old.

October 8th, 2012, 02:47 PM	#19
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,244 Thanks: 42,269 Thanked 60,713 Times in 7,461 Posts	Due to lapses in memory and general cantankerousness I tend to be the guilty party in absurd arguments. Me; we are not, as in no fuckin way, going down the pub tonight. She- What do you mean ' tonight'? Me - We were there last night She -last night you were a hundred miles away with wotsisface Me- Oh yeah...........the night before She - The night before I was at a gig with my brother and you were at your parents Me - Oh yeah...............well the night before that She - I went to a concert with my mother and you had a chinese meal with mates who dont drink. Me - Oh yeah..............well we still aint going to that fuckin pub again tonight There were a few times when I knew she was better than I deserved. How many women would let me get away with the fact that I had forgotten we had not seen eachother for three days? Last edited by vo1v0d; October 8th, 2012 at 02:47 PM.. Reason: speling

January 7th, 2011, 12:58 AM	#11
sydney1 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,378 Thanks: 10,562 Thanked 27,962 Times in 1,357 Posts	Whilst holidaying in Itay, jumped into the car one beautiful morning, feeling ace after purchasing some rather tasty Tramezzino's (Excellent Italian sarny's) from the camp-site deli; put them on the dashboard for safe-keeping, where Ms Sidney1 espies them..."What's that?" she cries accusingly. I say in a noncommital reply:"Oh, they had an offer on at the deli on the camp-site and they're really good". Cue major strop, ,much profrane language ect.. Then the immortal question: "You know I don't like sandwiches, why did you buy them?" Followed by:" I thought that we were going to go to a ristorante to eat" 20 minutes of Frozen silence later: "What's in them?" I told Ms Sidney the contents to keep the peace.. "Can I have a bite?" said she, O.K. said I and passed her the bag with the sarny's in. Concentrating on avoiding pyschotic Italian drivers, I asked for the bag of sarny's back after ten minutes of her hissy-fit. I received an empy paper bag, senza sandwiches. "Where's my f******g sandwiches?" demanded I.. "Oh, they were really nice and I couldn't help myself and I ate them", "What, both of them?" "Yeah!" At that moment, it was the closest I've ever come to commiting G.B.H.

January 7th, 2011, 01:42 AM	#12
oden Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 21 Thanks: 7 Thanked 119 Times in 15 Posts	bit of a stupid one, but did end up with her in a strop for a week ex mrs ) "can you put petrol in the car ? me ) "yeah ill get it when i go out" 2 hours later i come back and she heads out with the car crack open a beer start watching tv, she comes barrelling through the front door......... ex mrs) "thought you said you would fill the car up with petrol" me) "i did put it in" ex mrs) " well the fuel needle is reading zero" me) "did you start the car when you seen the needle at zero ?" ex mrs) "fuck you arsehole" storms out me) howling with laughter she ignored me for a week, and i was away for 3 weeks after as i was a truck driver, shoulda divorced her arse sooner

January 7th, 2011, 09:15 AM	#14
Dave666 Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 29 Thanks: 2,382 Thanked 356 Times in 28 Posts	My ex-wife accusing me of having an affair with every woman in the office??!. When I went out to see a band it was because I was meeting someone, including when I saw a band with the bloke she worked with. The argument would start first thing in the morning continue in the car to work (we worked in the same office) at mid day I would get a phone call asking "what I had been up to" and her face would appear in the door window at regular intervals during the day. This would then continue in the car on the way home and for the rest of the evening. If I worked overtime it was apparently so I could shag other women in the office. This cumulated in her phoning up and accusing a very suprised workmate of having an affair with me suprised because she wasn't aware of this affair. Needeless to say that is why she is my ex-wife. "Can I play with madness?"

October 8th, 2012, 02:47 PM	#20
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	I now refuse to go shopping with birds. Always ends in a row. How can they spend all day at it I retire to the pub, though I only drink soft drinks now. Then she appears with loads of bags and bores me with every bloody detail. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.