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Old 09-04-2005, 02:52 PM   #1
Swiss T
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Big Grin Post your corny jokes

A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"
The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."


Ouch.
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:27 PM   #2
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When I was younger I used to get sick of aunts and uncles poking me in the ribs at family weddings and saying. 'Your next.' Now I'm older I get my own back at family funerals by poking them in the ribs and saying 'Your next.'
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Old 09-21-2008, 04:35 PM   #3
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What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?

Wipe it off,and say your sorry!
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Old 09-21-2008, 05:24 PM   #4
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Aardvaark walks into a bar. Barman says: 'Why the long face?'
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Old 09-24-2008, 03:58 AM   #5
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China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos...
there are so many Wing's and Wong's in THE DIRECTORY,
people were always winging wong numbers.

I felt you needed to know this...
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Old 09-27-2008, 06:31 AM   #6
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What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association.
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Old 09-28-2008, 01:47 AM   #7
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At 85 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding
she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that
her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire
night together.

After the wedding festivities Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected
'knock' on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85
year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one.

All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep.

After a few minutes, Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and
it's Wally.

Again he is ready for more 'action.'

Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling.

When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight
and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it..... Wally is
back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready
for more 'action.'

And, once again they enjoy ! each other.


But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am
thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good
once. You are truly a great lover, Wally.'



Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Anne and says: .......'You mean I
was here already?'


The moral of the story:


Don't be afraid of getting old, senior moments have advantages
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Old 10-03-2008, 12:58 PM   #8
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A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the
birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.
'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no
Easter Bunny' speech.

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid,
I'll have nothing left to live for.'
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Old 10-12-2008, 03:30 PM   #9
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Default

A woman was standing in a crowded elevator of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast.

The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me."

So the woman replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."



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Old 10-15-2008, 12:41 AM   #10
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Default I Was 18 50 Years Ago



Sorry it just seems funny to me, not as funny as they guy through a grenade at a clown, or a guy popping a bag behind an eod tec
(btw if you have good copies of those that would be great
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