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Old 08-08-2018, 02:26 PM   #13931
PJayBr
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My parrot died yesterday. He was 12 years old and very obese.

I thought I'd be upset but to be honest it's a weight off my shoulders.
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Old 08-08-2018, 03:41 PM   #13932
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Red face "And that`s how corny this post waaaaaaaaaaas"

What`s an astronauts favourite board game ? ,

Moon- Opoly.

Did you hear about the Circus fire ? ,

It was intense.

Why can't a nose be twelve inches long ? ,

Because it`d be a foot
.

What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames ? ,

A blazer
.



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Old 08-08-2018, 10:37 PM   #13933
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Statistics show that after playing Russian roulette, 5 out of 6 people said they enjoyed the game.
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:06 PM   #13934
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The wife came in to the lounge wearing not very much whilst I was watching the Grand Prix.

"Fancy taking me upstairs and fucking me senseless?" She asks.

"Not just now." I reply. "I'm watching the motor racing."

"You do realise you can record it"

"Ok you grab the camcorder I'll be up when the Grand Prix has finished"

Last edited by PJayBr; 08-09-2018 at 04:44 PM..
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:23 PM   #13935
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What do you call a Pig that does Karate ? ,

A pork chop
.

When is a cigar like fish ? ,

When it`s smoked.

I have two mouths , five eyes and three ears , what am I ? ,

Bloody ugly.


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Old 08-09-2018, 11:57 PM   #13936
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Why do gypsies walk funny?

A: Because they have crystal balls.
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Old 08-11-2018, 02:08 PM   #13937
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Lost all my hair aged eighteen ,

What a card game that was !
.


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Old 08-11-2018, 02:48 PM   #13938
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Every kids learned of the birds and the bees from their parents

But I was the only kid whose parents reenacted it
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Old 08-12-2018, 03:11 PM   #13939
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 08-12-2018, 03:29 PM   #13940
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Did you hear about the contortionist who had a fatal heart attack while on stage ? ,

He died in his own arms
.

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