your best performance ? take a bow

[Flowerpot Man]

Originally Posted by Warren G

Well, boasting about my sexual prowess and picadillos is quite unseemly I must say.




But yeah, I was pretty awesome.




Of course, nowadays things have gone a bit south, unfortunately.

I brought it up at my doctor's office, so he put me on testosterone. He promised to make me perform like never before. So I told him, "yeah, well I don't want to get on the sexual predator list or something"..

He replied.."oh no, you're going to get a community service award"....




True story, actually....

As well the doctor should. We all deserve an award for moving our culture from a place where a "quickie" in order to breed was common, to today, when multiple positions, partners, role-playing and pleasure all count for something.
--panache

[Sir Honkers]

Over the course of my sixty two years, I've had sex with twelve women. But they've all been one at a time.

[Dennis346]

Only managed a foursome once - a long time ago. I was only twenty (so lots of energy), and my girlfriend and I, and another couple of friends, got a bit intimate one hot Sunday evening. The four of us helped each other, but full intercourse was only with our individual partners. Still, I remember it as an absolute turn-on!!!
PS The other couple are still happily married more than 30 years later!!

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by Dennis346

Only managed a foursome once -

I managed a onesome at least four times does that count

[HugoHackenbush]

I still find it quite strange that on a site devoted to all things sexual, that VEF has a "best wanking experience" thread that goes on for 25 pages , but a thread devoted to best sexual experiences can't barely get out of the starting gate.

I tried once to start a "best sex ever" thread and it failed miserably. I think I was the only one who ever posted in it.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by HugoHackenbush

I tried once to start a "best sex ever" thread and it failed miserably. I think I was the only one who ever posted in it.

I think I know why HH, VEF is really no different to the real world.
If my real world Mates are any kind of guide or comparison to VEF , we'd just prefer a laugh. My mates when we get together now and then don't really wanna know how good she was or you were ..... They wanna know how you fucked it all up for their amusement and fuel to make fun of each other of We still even after 30 years of dating, one night stands, old GF's and so on still have a monumental laugh at some major failures with women and sex

That's just my opinion and probably close to right I suspect.
Mate, I could tell a dozen at least of the ones I missed out on because of my own stupidity, If I told ya of my best actual ones I'd feel like I'm kind of bragging, I'd rather just make ya laugh for greater enjoyment

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by HugoHackenbush

I still find it quite strange that on a site devoted to all things sexual, that VEF has a "best wanking experience" thread that goes on for 25 pages , but a thread devoted to best sexual experiences can't barely get out of the starting gate.

I'll take up your baton Hugo.

Not a matter of numbers in the bed or hanging from chandeliers but a performance that turned things round against all the odds.

It took place in Tasmania of all places. I was visiting with my ex just at the time when all her doubts, worries and insecurities were beginning to bubble to the surface (crap marriage to some adulterous old perve and now widowed - so very dicey situation full of trust issues).

Anyway, she had been tearful all day and was saying our relationship was doomed and she should end it - "It's me not you" etc..

At first she turned away my advances but I persisted - everso gently and with maximum (genuine) tenderness. Eventually she did start to warm up...and then fire up. I put in my best ever performance, every trick in the book, finding all the right spots and making it last.

Okay, so she is my ex now - but that night gave me an extra year of very satisfactory bonking and I pat myself on the back for that.

[rewbear]

I'm with Estreeter on this one. It's not big to brag about one's own prowess in any activity, but in sex, well, that's just uncouth. For a start, if you are on a boys night out, coming out with lines such as "We had it 6 times and once in the taxi" makes you out to be a total fantasist, and I personally think it disrespectful to the lady, and playing it down can lead to the sort of ribbing that Estreeter refers to - the sort you never live down and no-one forgets.


But here on VEF I've found, we do enjoy a light-hearted story that is self-deprecating - and anonymised - because, and I'm speaking for myself here, I sympathise with the poster, and I do love a good laugh.

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Over the course of my sixty two years, I've had sex with twelve women. But they've all been one at a time.

That was then 10-17-2014 , what`s the score now Goose

I say seventeen

Although Fellow Forum Fella`s of course know that the number of women we've had sex with isn't as important , as the number of times you have sex with them

Worst ever for me was Emma
Dated five months and slept together three times
Because almost without fail was usually "Too stressed" from work
Stressed
She was a receptionist at a dentists for Mods sake

[Mal Hombre]

Are You sure She wasn't getting Her cavities filled at work ?