Post your corny jokes - Page 222

**Jeff Vader** · September 22nd, 2011, 06:10 PM

Where do you go to find out how heavy pies are?

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Hint: think of the next line of the song...

**TCO95** · September 23rd, 2011, 03:23 PM

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"

In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."

**sweatyhat** · September 23rd, 2011, 05:17 PM

I've decided to follow the celebrity trend of naming our baby after where I was when it was conceived.
Only 2 more months and we all get to meet Cnut.

I was chatting up a bird in a nightclub.
"I think you should know," I smiled, "My mates call me 'The Power Drill'".
"Is it because you're good in bed?" she giggled.
"No." I replied, "If you turn me down expect some hammer action."

My wife's so fat now she's started being rude to everybody who comes near her.
She's reached critical mass.

I had tears in my eyes when my wife said those 3 magic words to me
"I'm a lesbian"

**Jeff Vader** · September 23rd, 2011, 08:35 PM

went bobsleighing last week

...killed 8 bobs

Hot Solar · September 23rd, 2011, 11:31 PM

Playing a party guessing game with her staff, Lady Harrington asks “Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable” ?
“Don’t mind love” replied the Gardener “I’ll screw anything”

**bp666** · September 24th, 2011, 01:34 AM

Q. What do you call a golfing wizard?
A. Harry Putter.

Q. What do you call a dead wizard?
A. Harry Rotter.

Q.What do you call a very tall but unbalanced wizard?
A. Harry Totter.

Q. What do you call a sailing wizard?
A. Harry Yachter.

Q. What do you call a treacherous wizard?
A. Harry Plotter.

Q. What do you call a jogging wizard?
A. Harry Trotter.

**bp666** · September 24th, 2011, 01:35 AM

Me and my mate would like to brag about our time as groupies with The Go-Go's but our lips are sealed.

**bp666** · September 24th, 2011, 01:39 AM

I have an Egyptian pharoah guarding my garage, but everyone knows how to get past him. You just toot and come in.

**Jeff Vader** · September 24th, 2011, 09:35 AM

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the Fresh Prints

**Mal Hombre** · September 24th, 2011, 10:11 AM

More "Harry Potter"
Q.What do You call a wizard who likes to rub His private parts against people ?
A.Harry Frotter

Q.What do You call a wizard Who's got the runs?
A. Harry Trotter

September 23rd, 2011, 05:17 PM	#2213
sweatyhat Woodwose Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: In the mud and rain Posts: 10,869 Thanks: 97,859 Thanked 187,912 Times in 10,563 Posts	I've decided to follow the celebrity trend of naming our baby after where I was when it was conceived. Only 2 more months and we all get to meet Cnut. I was chatting up a bird in a nightclub. "I think you should know," I smiled, "My mates call me 'The Power Drill'". "Is it because you're good in bed?" she giggled. "No." I replied, "If you turn me down expect some hammer action." My wife's so fat now she's started being rude to everybody who comes near her. She's reached critical mass. I had tears in my eyes when my wife said those 3 magic words to me "I'm a lesbian" __________________

September 24th, 2011, 01:34 AM	#2216
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	Some Harry Potter "corny" jokes Q. What do you call a golfing wizard? A. Harry Putter. Q. What do you call a dead wizard? A. Harry Rotter. Q.What do you call a very tall but unbalanced wizard? A. Harry Totter. Q. What do you call a sailing wizard? A. Harry Yachter. Q. What do you call a treacherous wizard? A. Harry Plotter. Q. What do you call a jogging wizard? A. Harry Trotter.

September 24th, 2011, 10:11 AM	#2220
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,703 Times in 57,565 Posts	More "Harry Potter" Q.What do You call a wizard who likes to rub His private parts against people ? A.Harry Frotter Q.What do You call a wizard Who's got the runs? A. Harry Trotter __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 22nd, 2011, 06:10 PM	#2211
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	Where do you go to find out how heavy pies are? Somewhere Over the Rainbow Hint: think of the next line of the song...

September 23rd, 2011, 03:23 PM	#2212
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,803 Times in 5,130 Posts	In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."

September 23rd, 2011, 08:35 PM	#2214
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	went bobsleighing last week ...killed 8 bobs

September 23rd, 2011, 11:31 PM	#2215
Hot Solar Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 99 Thanks: 241 Thanked 1,422 Times in 97 Posts	Playing a party guessing game with her staff, Lady Harrington asks “Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable” ? “Don’t mind love” replied the Gardener “I’ll screw anything”

September 24th, 2011, 01:35 AM	#2217
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	Me and my mate would like to brag about our time as groupies with The Go-Go's but our lips are sealed.

September 24th, 2011, 01:39 AM	#2218
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	I have an Egyptian pharoah guarding my garage, but everyone knows how to get past him. You just toot and come in.

September 24th, 2011, 09:35 AM	#2219
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,019 Times in 6,511 Posts	How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the Fresh Prints