Post your corny jokes - Page 1329

**Mal Hombre** · April 10th, 2018, 08:49 AM

This is a thread for jokes,Penis size is no laughing matter...

**bloke57** · April 10th, 2018, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

This is a thread for jokes,Penis size is no laughing matter...

Not for you maybe - but mine tickles my feet as I walk.

**Staffsyeoman** · April 10th, 2018, 03:14 PM

This guy pulled a gun on me in the street.. I braced in terror, but instead of a bullet, a sign came out saying "BNAG" I thought "That's bang out of order.."

**mrfixit** · April 10th, 2018, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

This is a thread for jokes,Penis size is no laughing matter...

it is a laughing matter for some women

**mrfixit** · April 10th, 2018, 10:39 PM

Two women sitting in the doctor’s waiting room began discussing babies.
“I want a baby more than anything else in the world,” said one. “But I guess it’s impossible.”
“I used to think that,” said the other. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to have a baby in three months.”
“You must tell me what you did.”
“I went to a faith healer.”
“But I’ve tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn’t help at all.”
The pregnant woman smiled and whispered: “Next time, try going alone.”

Aaron · April 11th, 2018, 09:28 AM

A Marvel comic gag:

Thieves stole a shipment of adamantium steel. They knew exactly what they were doing. They shouted, "Stand and deliver!"

**PJayBr** · April 11th, 2018, 02:45 PM

I have piles & piles of washing up. Don't know which is worse....

~~}[eywood~~ · April 11th, 2018, 03:03 PM

Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?"

"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been cold, wet, and damp, and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey."

"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit."

"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and flew away.

A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"

"Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be. There was plenty of fruit and, oh, such huge floral arrangements on every table."

"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.

"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

~~}[eywood~~ · April 11th, 2018, 03:52 PM

Dead parakeet for sale. Not going cheep.

**mrfixit** · April 12th, 2018, 04:46 PM

Three men want to become agents for the FBI. After a day of intensive interviews, they are told there is one more test to prove their dedication to the FBI. The head FBI agent takes the first guy into a private room. He hands him a gun and says, “Go into that room and kill your wife.”
The guy says, “No way” and leaves FBI headquarters.
The second guy goes through the same proceedings. He walks into the second room, but on seeing his wife decides that she is worth more than a good job and he too refuses.
Finally, the third guy is given the gun and told to kill his wife. He walks into the second room and six shots are heard. A few seconds later, the head FBI agent hears crashing and banging from the room. After a few minutes, the guy comes out of the room. “What happened?” asks the FBI agent.
“Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks. I had to kill her with the chair!”

April 10th, 2018, 08:49 AM	#13281
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,694 Times in 57,565 Posts	This is a thread for jokes,Penis size is no laughing matter... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 10th, 2018, 10:39 PM	#13285
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,777 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	Two women sitting in the doctor’s waiting room began discussing babies. “I want a baby more than anything else in the world,” said one. “But I guess it’s impossible.” “I used to think that,” said the other. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to have a baby in three months.” “You must tell me what you did.” “I went to a faith healer.” “But I’ve tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn’t help at all.” The pregnant woman smiled and whispered: “Next time, try going alone.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

April 12th, 2018, 04:46 PM	#13290
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,777 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	Three men want to become agents for the FBI. After a day of intensive interviews, they are told there is one more test to prove their dedication to the FBI. The head FBI agent takes the first guy into a private room. He hands him a gun and says, “Go into that room and kill your wife.” The guy says, “No way” and leaves FBI headquarters. The second guy goes through the same proceedings. He walks into the second room, but on seeing his wife decides that she is worth more than a good job and he too refuses. Finally, the third guy is given the gun and told to kill his wife. He walks into the second room and six shots are heard. A few seconds later, the head FBI agent hears crashing and banging from the room. After a few minutes, the guy comes out of the room. “What happened?” asks the FBI agent. “Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks. I had to kill her with the chair!” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

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April 10th, 2018, 03:14 PM	#13283
Staffsyeoman Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,268 Thanks: 34,177 Thanked 26,750 Times in 2,159 Posts	This guy pulled a gun on me in the street.. I braced in terror, but instead of a bullet, a sign came out saying "BNAG" I thought "That's bang out of order.."

April 11th, 2018, 09:28 AM	#13286
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	A Marvel comic gag: Thieves stole a shipment of adamantium steel. They knew exactly what they were doing. They shouted, "Stand and deliver!"

April 11th, 2018, 02:45 PM	#13287
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,309 Thanks: 41,569 Thanked 13,689 Times in 1,280 Posts	I have piles & piles of washing up. Don't know which is worse....

April 11th, 2018, 03:03 PM	#13288
~~}[eywood~~ Banned! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NY Posts: 548 Thanks: 123 Thanked 3,505 Times in 511 Posts	Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?" "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been cold, wet, and damp, and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and flew away. A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?" "Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be. There was plenty of fruit and, oh, such huge floral arrangements on every table." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

April 11th, 2018, 03:52 PM	#13289
~~}[eywood~~ Banned! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NY Posts: 548 Thanks: 123 Thanked 3,505 Times in 511 Posts	Dead parakeet for sale. Not going cheep.