What's the funniest thing that ever happened while you were having sex? - Page 7

**73north** · January 24th, 2015, 02:10 PM

my only one - was when I was naked and with my girlfriend ( my parents were away for weekend ) and my brother came back far earlier than I anticipated -
luckily I leaped up and managed to hold the handle to the door shut while he tried ( really hard to open to come into the living-room where we were ) - and he was drunk so he gave up and went to bed !!
never had a closer fright than that !

**Dropped52** · January 24th, 2015, 02:57 PM

Me and my wife were in the middle of a good one, I had tied her to our bed and was in the middle of ridding her when out of nowhere I got a major charlie horse (leg cramp if your unfimiliar) and I fell off of the bed and hit my head on my night stand, she couldn't do anything cause she was tied up so I layer on the floor and my hard on quickly disappeared. It sucked!

Squiss · January 1st, 2017, 09:55 AM

Before we got married we often had sex in the car in the driveway of her parents house as we returned home after a night out. At one of those occasions I was laying on top of her as I noticed red lights outside the car. I thought somebody stopped on the street and was looking at us. We looked but didn't see another car. So we continued fucking. But the red lights didn't go away. Then we realised she was pushing with her foot on the breaks. Mystery solved and after a good laugh whe still had a good fuck!

MaxJoker · April 7th, 2017, 05:01 PM

The Rohypnol wore off , a minute too soon

**Mal Hombre** · April 7th, 2017, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

The Rohypnol wore off , a minute too soon

Next time,I'll give You a stronger dose..

BlueVelvet · January 9th, 2018, 12:07 AM

More an amusing situation after the event, but many (many) years ago I spent a weekend in bed with a lovely girl getting up to all sorts of things. But we had one problem - every time we tried to fuck, she would scream with pain.

"I'm so sorry about this, but I'm really small and tight and you're quite big. It's bloody frustrating."

I hadn't come across this before, but her lovely twat was indeed tiny. But almost in compensation, she could orgasm quite easily with the lightest of touches. But we just didn't fuck.

A few years later we bumped into each other at a cafe, where she was sitting with a guy, who turned out to be her new husband.

"Wow - so you're married. That's fantastic."

"Yeah - we're just back from our honeymoon actually."

"Oh, that's great. How was it?" I asked, beginning to wonder.

"We went to New Zealand. It was really beautiful," the guy said, just about to sip some coffee.

"Yeah, it was," she agreed, then whispered in my ear "and the fucking was great, too. He has the smallest cock I've ever seen. It's perfect for me."

"What are you whispering?" her husband asked.

"Just about how great your teeny-weeny cock is for my teeny-weeny pussy" she replied, to which half his coffee spluttered out all over the table.

**sea-man** · January 9th, 2018, 09:39 AM

Shagging this Japanese women, she said "you came inside me".
Well, duh, we were fucking bare back and I love cream pie as it is one of my fetishes.

**sea-man** · January 9th, 2018, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueVelvet

More an amusing situation after the event, but many (many) years ago I spent a weekend in bed with a lovely girl getting up to all sorts of things. But we had one problem - every time we tried to fuck, she would scream with pain.

"I'm so sorry about this, but I'm really small and tight and you're quite big. It's bloody frustrating."

I hadn't come across this before, but her lovely twat was indeed tiny. But almost in compensation, she could orgasm quite easily with the lightest of touches. But we just didn't fuck.

A few years later we bumped into each other at a cafe, where she was sitting with a guy, who turned out to be her new husband.

"Wow - so you're married. That's fantastic."

"Yeah - we're just back from our honeymoon actually."

"Oh, that's great. How was it?" I asked, beginning to wonder.

"We went to New Zealand. It was really beautiful," the guy said, just about to sip some coffee.

"Yeah, it was," she agreed, then whispered in my ear "and the fucking was great, too. He has the smallest cock I've ever seen. It's perfect for me."

"What are you whispering?" her husband asked.

"Just about how great your teeny-weeny cock is for my teeny-weeny pussy" she replied, to which half his coffee spluttered out all over the table.

One of my now ex-regulars, a Thai women with silicone tits (not really my thing) who said she was getting a divorce soon, I though do I care! and suddenly she said "your cock is too big for anal". Very strange indeed.

FlashRetro · January 9th, 2018, 10:44 AM

My cat puked on my girlfriends dress, which she had thrown on the floor.
Nice. She didn't laugh. I did. He never did like her.

superjack · February 24th, 2018, 09:08 PM

Woke up licking my gfs pussy

April 7th, 2017, 05:01 PM	#64
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,513 Times in 69,067 Posts	What's the funniest thing that ever happened while you were having sex? The Rohypnol wore off , a minute too soon __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 9th, 2018, 12:07 AM	#66
BlueVelvet Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 221 Thanks: 2,085 Thanked 10,816 Times in 221 Posts	Perfect match More an amusing situation after the event, but many (many) years ago I spent a weekend in bed with a lovely girl getting up to all sorts of things. But we had one problem - every time we tried to fuck, she would scream with pain. "I'm so sorry about this, but I'm really small and tight and you're quite big. It's bloody frustrating." I hadn't come across this before, but her lovely twat was indeed tiny. But almost in compensation, she could orgasm quite easily with the lightest of touches. But we just didn't fuck. A few years later we bumped into each other at a cafe, where she was sitting with a guy, who turned out to be her new husband. "Wow - so you're married. That's fantastic." "Yeah - we're just back from our honeymoon actually." "Oh, that's great. How was it?" I asked, beginning to wonder. "We went to New Zealand. It was really beautiful," the guy said, just about to sip some coffee. "Yeah, it was," she agreed, then whispered in my ear "and the fucking was great, too. He has the smallest cock I've ever seen. It's perfect for me." "What are you whispering?" her husband asked. "Just about how great your teeny-weeny cock is for my teeny-weeny pussy" she replied, to which half his coffee spluttered out all over the table.

January 9th, 2018, 10:44 AM	#69
FlashRetro Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: Beneath Leia's white gown Posts: 111 Thanks: 2,002 Thanked 1,970 Times in 119 Posts	Nice one kitty. My cat puked on my girlfriends dress, which she had thrown on the floor. Nice. She didn't laugh. I did. He never did like her.

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January 24th, 2015, 02:10 PM	#61
73north Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Scottish Borders Posts: 1,890 Thanks: 16,318 Thanked 39,348 Times in 1,847 Posts	my only one - was when I was naked and with my girlfriend ( my parents were away for weekend ) and my brother came back far earlier than I anticipated - luckily I leaped up and managed to hold the handle to the door shut while he tried ( really hard to open to come into the living-room where we were ) - and he was drunk so he gave up and went to bed !! never had a closer fright than that !

January 24th, 2015, 02:57 PM	#62
Dropped52 Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Az Posts: 928 Thanks: 18,718 Thanked 8,602 Times in 918 Posts	Me and my wife were in the middle of a good one, I had tied her to our bed and was in the middle of ridding her when out of nowhere I got a major charlie horse (leg cramp if your unfimiliar) and I fell off of the bed and hit my head on my night stand, she couldn't do anything cause she was tied up so I layer on the floor and my hard on quickly disappeared. It sucked!

January 1st, 2017, 09:55 AM	#63
Squiss Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 13 Thanks: 20 Thanked 103 Times in 13 Posts	Before we got married we often had sex in the car in the driveway of her parents house as we returned home after a night out. At one of those occasions I was laying on top of her as I noticed red lights outside the car. I thought somebody stopped on the street and was looking at us. We looked but didn't see another car. So we continued fucking. But the red lights didn't go away. Then we realised she was pushing with her foot on the breaks. Mystery solved and after a good laugh whe still had a good fuck!

January 9th, 2018, 09:39 AM	#67
sea-man Vintage Member Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 876 Thanks: 14,074 Thanked 6,796 Times in 833 Posts	Shagging this Japanese women, she said "you came inside me". Well, duh, we were fucking bare back and I love cream pie as it is one of my fetishes.

February 24th, 2018, 09:08 PM	#70
superjack Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 248 Thanks: 6 Thanked 2,355 Times in 228 Posts	Woke up licking my gfs pussy