Collected old threads from Funnies - Page 9

iufrenchman · January 22nd, 2010, 02:33 AM

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

**Welderman** · January 29th, 2010, 04:33 AM

After A Couple Of Pints..The Barman Says..
Here Mate,Did You Know You've Got A Steering Wheel Between Your Legs..
"Yes" Came The Reply..It's Driving Me Nuts...

**Clouddancer** · January 29th, 2010, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by welderman

After A Couple Of Pints..The Barman Says..
Here Mate,Did You Know You've Got A Steering Wheel Between Your Legs..
"Yes" Came The Reply..It's Driving Me Nuts...

Cheers

Excellent joke I thought it merited more than a thanks button.

**Mal Hombre** · January 29th, 2010, 05:09 PM

Bloke walks into a bar and says ouch! It was an iron bar-The late great Tommy Cooper

**Clouddancer** · February 12th, 2010, 02:39 PM

What is a fart??

A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But that farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......?
Sweet old farts like you!

**mrfixit** · February 13th, 2010, 10:22 AM

Very nice but it left a bad smell.

Estreeter · February 14th, 2010, 02:54 AM

Click Here

BOHICA17 · March 11th, 2010, 02:37 AM

Sometimes things just get lost in translation ...

**buttsie** · April 11th, 2010, 02:45 AM

If only it were available

Trunk Monkey..30seconds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee3L9...layer_embedded

**DTravel** · April 11th, 2010, 05:26 AM

There's a whole series of Trunk Monkey videos. Some more:
Military Trunk Monkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK_mbc5v_Jo&NR=1
Trunk Monkey Strikes Again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-fB34sTmls&NR=1 (collection of four Trunk Monkey commercials, including Buttsie's original)

January 22nd, 2010, 02:33 AM	#81
iufrenchman Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NW Indiana Posts: 238 Thanks: 1,676 Thanked 2,536 Times in 228 Posts	Chinese Proverbs Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

January 29th, 2010, 04:33 AM	#82
Welderman Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: County of Champions Posts: 3,707 Thanks: 55,074 Thanked 64,245 Times in 3,729 Posts	Bloke Walks Into A Bar... After A Couple Of Pints..The Barman Says.. Here Mate,Did You Know You've Got A Steering Wheel Between Your Legs.. "Yes" Came The Reply..It's Driving Me Nuts...

January 29th, 2010, 05:09 PM	#84
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,693 Times in 57,565 Posts	Bloke walks into a bar and says ouch! It was an iron bar-The late great Tommy Cooper __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

February 12th, 2010, 02:39 PM	#85
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,623 Times in 809 Posts	A Fart What is a fart?? A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the belly ease, It warms the bed in winter, And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet, A fart can be loud, Some leave a powerful, Poisonous cloud A fart can be short, Or a fart can be long, Some farts have been known To sound like a song....... A fart can create A most curious medley, A fart can be harmless, Or silent , and deadly. A fart might not smell, While others are vile, A fart may pass quickly, Or linger a while...... A fart can occur In a number of places, And leave everyone there, With strange looks on their faces. From wide-open prairie, To small elevators, A fart will find all of Us sooner or later. But that farts are all bad, Is simply not true- We must never forget.......? Sweet old farts like you! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

February 13th, 2010, 10:22 AM	#86
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,812 Times in 9,416 Posts	Very nice but it left a bad smell. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

February 14th, 2010, 02:54 AM	#87
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,784 Times in 60,319 Posts	Click Here __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 11th, 2010, 02:37 AM	#88
BOHICA17 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 69 Thanks: 1,034 Thanked 3,704 Times in 63 Posts	Unintentionally Funny Product Names Sometimes things just get lost in translation ... Last edited by BOHICA17; March 11th, 2010 at 04:06 AM..

April 11th, 2010, 02:45 AM	#89
buttsie Porn Archeologist Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: earth Posts: 12,714 Thanks: 92,252 Thanked 241,294 Times in 12,746 Posts	Car Protection like you wouldnt believe If only it were available Trunk Monkey..30seconds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee3L9...layer_embedded

April 11th, 2010, 05:26 AM	#90
DTravel Lean Mean Screencap Machine Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Better you don't know. Posts: 23,804 Thanks: 10,480 Thanked 207,303 Times in 23,713 Posts	There's a whole series of Trunk Monkey videos. Some more: Military Trunk Monkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK_mbc5v_Jo&NR=1 Trunk Monkey Strikes Again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-fB34sTmls&NR=1 (collection of four Trunk Monkey commercials, including Buttsie's original) __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I rage and weep for my country. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I can reup screencaps, other material might have been lost.

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