? for gay members- Scarry story too...

[hifive]

Originally Posted by Foxbark

Not wishing to tread on too many toes here, but how can anyone possibly ever associate sexual activity with a unknown, strange male caught in mid-defecation?
Isn't the thought (and smell) enough to revolt?
- I cannot speak for gays, as I've never been that way inclined, but isn't it a universal passion-killer - that elicits deep-seated limbic system disgust, that 'overrides' the libido switch?

Unfortunately no. Even though it may be a turn-off for a majority of people, there is no 'universal' when it comes to sexual persuasion, behavior or tastes. And, without going into detail, in fact a great number of people are into things that involve smells, tastes and actions that others would find repulsive, disgusting or downright revolting. Some of those things can even be found on this forum while others are not allowed. Those tastes and behaviors cross all sexual persuasions and - for me - if someone else is into those things with another consenting adult then that's their business.

[hifive]

Originally Posted by crimpo

hifive - I was perhaps too laconic for clarity. You make good points. All I will question is your attitude to taking 'no' for an answer. In this scenario I'd have thought it was essential. I don't know what this man's story is and I'm really not judgmental. However, if he keeps acting in this way there is every chance he will get himself badly messed up or he will seriously mess someone else up. Its really not defensible.

Crimpo - you bring up a good point that leads to an important question. This guy's actions were not defensible and I hope I didn't come across like I was defending him. He totally crossed a line that he shouldn't have and more than once.

The question is what is the appropriate response to that line crossing? Should anklebiter have slugged him or beat him to a pulp? Some guys might have found themselves lying on the floor with a bloody nose at the first suggestion of sexual activity. But is that an appropriate response? Even though it's hard to imagine happening, what if some twisted woman acted that sexually aggressive toward you? Would you punch her in the nose or kick her in the groin to get her to stop? Would you consider that an appropriate response?

The point I am trying to raise awareness of is that we all know what the likely response would be from a lot of men to this guy's actions, but is that the kind of response we should give or are we better than that?

[anklebiter]

Let me give a little bit of insight on why I was so upset.

First- thank you for your input hifive. I understand much more thanks to your posts, and I agree with much of it. Like I said before, I have a couple gay friends, so I don't come from a position of bias or prejudice. Because of my friendships, I've been in situations where dudes hit on me thinking if I'm with him, I must be gay...It don't take long for things to get politely cleared up, and I've never wanted to assault someone for showing interest.



I'm 42 years old, and spent about 26 years active in the martial arts. I was an instructor for about 12 years,and my main focus as both a student and instructor has been street self defense. There is a very fine line between teaching someone to hurt people, and teaching them that hurting people is wrong.I spent a few years developing, and teaching an anti rape seminar that I taught at local universities. I don't like to see people hurt each other, but I strongly believe that when you have to fight, it's no game. You maim, you break, you may indeed have to kill....but to me, twenty behind bars is better than eternity under 6 feet of soil.

Two of the main points of focus is NEVER put yourself in a position of vulnerability to begin with.99% of trouble can be avoided if you just use your head about where you hang out, who you hang out with, and places you go. Generally, a victim is chosen carefully. A predator won't choose a victim that's stronger. I hammered these two points till folks heard it in their sleep.

I wasn't given the opportunity to say no. He walked in, and was within reaching distance. That's why I pushed him.At that point, if I wasn't 'busy' I would have considered it an assault, and reacted violently. As it is, the push was a clear sign for him to get out. Him coming back for a second look made it clear to me I needed to fight my way out. If I could have, I would have beaten him unconscious, or been beaten unconscious myself if he was the better fighter. Either way, diplomacy wasn't an option. This has no bearing on how I feel about gays, but everything to do with self preservation.

After a few hours, and a few drinks, I started questioning how I could have let this happen, how I put myself in that position to begin with, and what could I have done differently? Hence the rage. 26 years of a certain frame of mind, and I thought I was to blame. Maybe immature, but the first thing I did was lash out at others, instead of looking inward.

Now with a rational mind, I don't blame myself. I see he was a freak. I don't think I would handle it any different next time. I'll fight if I feel cornered, but politely say no to anyone reasonable to understand what no means.

[TexMadrid]

Originally Posted by anklebiter

...Is there some secret bathroom ritual I accidentally made myself part of? In retrospect, I remember hearing bathroom stories ( George Michael, Pee Wee Herman, etc.)....

For future reference: Larry Craig Guide To Proper Bathroom Behavior

I just had to!

I used to go to this dance club in DC and hated going to the bathroom; open urinals/troughs with guys standing right next to you and just staring; full on head turn while they peed! Talk about shy bladder, holy crap; in a full public bathroom;

I also walked in on a guy who was whacking off in a changing room/single bathroom; he left the door unlocked. Quite a shocking experience. Even more shocking was that he was not surprised that I had just walked in on him; I quickly turned and walked away.

I have learned that park bathrooms are all about gay sex.

[scoundrel]

Originally Posted by TexMadrid

For future reference: Larry Craig Guide To Proper Bathroom Behavior

I have learned that park bathrooms are all about gay sex.

This phenomenom has been around since the early days of Doctor Who.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfxyvrW-lUs