Post your corny jokes

[silkies]

Originally Posted by Silklover

*** KEEP THE GREY MATTER ACTIVE
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1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10.. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
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Here are the Answers

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

Answer: Johnny of course

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5.. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

Answer: Same as is it now -*Donald Trump* [Oh, come on .....]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd.. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow* [Duh]

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

I only got one wrong, because I figured that there weren't any men in California with wooden legs.

[Silklover]

Originally Posted by Isegrim

Ain't it be strange when some member of an erotic forum denies the very existence of dirty holes?

yes, indeed!

[bp666]

It is not very well known that Raymond Burr had a brother who was lumberjack.

His name was Tim.

[bp666]

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me.

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

[MaxJoker]

What do you call an unemployed Muslim ?

Bin Laidoff.

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

What do you call an unemployed Muslim ?

Bin Laidoff.

Get a job as a dustman - he'd be Bin Laden.

[rewbear]

"Originally posted by bp666. It is not very well known that Raymond Burr had a brother who was (a) lumberjack. His name was Tim."

It is also not very well known that the actress Tuesday Weld was once engaged to the classical actor Frederic March, who, being the grandson of the original Frederic was the 3rd in the family line. If the nuptials had materialised, the bride would of course have been known as Tuesday March the 3rd.

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by rewbear

It is also not very well known that the actress Tuesday Weld was once engaged to the classical actor Frederic March, who, being the grandson of the original Frederic was the 3rd in the family line. If the nuptials had materialised, the bride would of course have been known as Tuesday March the 3rd.

They'd never have got past the dating phase.

[MaxJoker]

How do you stop a North Korean tank ? ,

Shoot the people pushing it.

[troytempest77]

Tomorrow I am doing a lecture called 'People Who Find it Hard to Orgasm.' at our local University.

Let me know if you can't come.