The - Write a Fellow Forum Fella a sick note - thread

[MaxJoker]

Well excuse me for admitting it
No.
I don't want to go into work tomorrow
Ok so those strippers (Yes , mostly female ) will have to oil themselves up instead for once.
Butt then I've already drunk enough to sink the Bismark (While still in dry dock) , am sure to stuff myself on too much rice later and they say it`ll be a hot day tomorrow.
Don't I deserve a day off
Has anybody got an excuse I could use

Hey I`d make up one for you

Just nobody use the "Dear Keith (The Hatchet) Bazzini , I`m afraid MaxJoker won't be coming into work today as caught his penis in the spokes of his bike earlier and severely pulled a muscle "

Because I used that already , when a paperboy

Ps
Feel free everyone to make up excuses for anyone you want

Pps
Indeed.
I also give this thread an hour at best before it disappears into the dead zone

[pharoahegypt]

To Whom It May Concern.

I'm sorry, but Mr Joker will be unable to attend work today, and likely for the foreseeable future, as during a trip to the Markham Lunatic Asylum yesterday evening, he drew the attention of one of their most eminent psychiatrists, who remarked on seeing him "We've been looking for you!" then promptly had him into a restrictive white jacket, & sent down into the dungeons for everyone's well being.

The psychiatric, Dr Emmet Brown (MBa, NFL, B.T.T.F.) explained how an incident with a biscuit barrel nearly a decade ago had left one of his nurses needing therapy for several months afterwards, but Mr Joker had claimed that he had no idea how his penis had gotten lodged into the bottom of the barrel, despite the chisel & lube found in his coat pocket later.

He's asked if you could possibly hold onto his job for a least a week, as he was looking forward to the annual staff outing to Alton Towers next weekend so much.

Yours, Mrs Brown (no, not the one with a moustache)

[mizlaplan]

Max?
Can't believe you haven't cottoned on to the mainstream, down-with-da-kids, guaranteed vacation-for-life method
Just say that you are pregnant
A life of leisure awaits
If any sane, serious, civil servant questions you, just say that you: "Identify as a pregnant female."
(A cushion stuffed up your shirt is a "good visual aid" in said scam).
Miz (14 months pregnant, no it's not a beer belly)

[teaktop]

Dear VEF ,I cannot go into work today as Ive gone blind,
Its sooo true its not a myth it does happen ,was this in the small print ,I cant read the damn small print....
Signed { }
Fill in your fav mod above

[Estreeter]

To whom it may concern

tabler is excused from life today due to a very rare condition in his life known as being sober .... he cannot face reality if not intoxicated. This is just a note for a single day as sobriety is almost foreign to him and never long lasting.

Thank You

[MaxJoker]

Dear Campus Headmistress Vera Von Vulva ,

Concerning your presidential PE teacher Mal Hombre.

Please excuse him from physical duties beginning 30th of May until the 5th of June.
Never more so since he`ll be absent during those days.
As his industrial strength jockstrap broke earlier while he was walking over a bridge this morning. An accident that sadly caused severe helmet bruising and colossus groin strain.
Even worse the council wants him to pay for the section of the bridge that was destroyed. Which as you can understand has caused him added emotional distress. Especially considering the cost of titanium these days.

Sincerely lustfully (Provided you`re under ninety without your own teeth) ,

MaxJoker

[Estreeter]

Dear Forum Members

Please excuse fleetwoodMidori77 from the forum this week, he is ill, if you've ever seen his toilet you'll understand, cannot provide photo evidence as I don't need to write more sick notices for unsuspecting innocent members.

Thanks
E

[footstep]

To whom it may concern

MaxJoker won't be able to work today,
Due to an unknown cause infection.
The impossible is in progress, a priest is expected shortly.
Sincerely, Dr Who.

[bloke57]

Dear Monsieur le Frenchboss,

I regret that Footstep (Marchepied) will be unable to travail today.

He has found an exceptional brie at the back of his fridge and a bottle of fine cognac has also made its way into his well stocked cellar.

Of course this is a pretty lame excuse but I know that you being a true Frenchman will understand that some things must take priority over mere commerce.

Yours sincerely, a friend.

[footstep]

Dear Boss,

bloke57 won't be able to work the next 2 years,
Due to an intensive TV/beers/salt crisps preparation for 2019.

Sincerely, Dr Who.