Post your corny jokes - Page 1362

**mrfixit** · August 2nd, 2018, 05:56 PM

Senior Sex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

**gedly** · August 2nd, 2018, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

To the person who stole my antidepressants ,

"I HOPE YOU`RE HAPPY NOW ! "

As for those people who stole my tranquilisers, I hope they're sleeping well at night.

**Mal Hombre** · August 2nd, 2018, 07:03 PM

As for the person who stole My IKEA flat pack bed,I don't know how You sleep at night..

**ball7** · August 2nd, 2018, 09:21 PM

You know you're really getting old when they discontinue your blood type.
-Ruth Buzzi

**trailmaster** · August 3rd, 2018, 01:40 PM

What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?
Going back in to ask for a coat hanger.
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What did the black guy get on his SAT test?
Barbeque sauce.
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In all seriousness though, I did have a family member die in the Holocaust...he fell off the guard tower.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is disgusting, what they did to my grandfather during the Holocaust was unforgivable. Passed over for promotion time and time again.
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What's so great about about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know she's going to swallow.
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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.

**trailmaster** · August 4th, 2018, 02:11 PM

Why was Stevise Wonder always smiling?
Because he didn't know he was black.
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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
The cops.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do black people have white palms?
Black people have white palms and the bottoms of their feet because when God was painting them they were assuming the position.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do black people smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
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What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach.
What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? Quarterback
What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 100 black guys? Warden.
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What's white and ten inches long?
A black person's criminal record, and that's just his juvenile record.

MaxJoker · August 4th, 2018, 02:37 PM

What did the overly excited Gardener do when Spring finally came ? ,

Wet his plants.

Where would you find flying rabbits ? ,

In the Hare-Force.

What happens when frogs park illegally ? ,

They get toad .

**gedly** · August 4th, 2018, 07:38 PM

Get to know as many mathematicians as you can as a lot of mathematicians add up.

**ball7** · August 4th, 2018, 08:33 PM

My mom always told me she met my dad in a club:
The Mile High Club

**Mal Hombre** · August 4th, 2018, 08:38 PM

My mate has twenty fingers and twenty toes,He's a guy you can really count on...

August 2nd, 2018, 05:56 PM	#13611
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,853 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	Senior Sex The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence." __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

August 2nd, 2018, 07:03 PM	#13613
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,760 Times in 57,565 Posts	As for the person who stole My IKEA flat pack bed,I don't know how You sleep at night.. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 4th, 2018, 02:37 PM	#13617
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	What did the overly excited Gardener do when Spring finally came ? , Wet his plants. Where would you find flying rabbits ? , In the Hare-Force. What happens when frogs park illegally ? , They get toad . __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

August 4th, 2018, 08:38 PM	#13620
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,760 Times in 57,565 Posts	My mate has twenty fingers and twenty toes,He's a guy you can really count on... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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August 2nd, 2018, 09:21 PM	#13614
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,986 Times in 15,731 Posts	You know you're really getting old when they discontinue your blood type. -Ruth Buzzi

August 3rd, 2018, 01:40 PM	#13615
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,248 Times in 60,072 Posts	What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going back in to ask for a coat hanger. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the black guy get on his SAT test? Barbeque sauce. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- In all seriousness though, I did have a family member die in the Holocaust...he fell off the guard tower. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is disgusting, what they did to my grandfather during the Holocaust was unforgivable. Passed over for promotion time and time again. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's so great about about an Ethiopian blowjob? You know she's going to swallow. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

August 4th, 2018, 02:11 PM	#13616
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,248 Times in 60,072 Posts	Why was Stevise Wonder always smiling? Because he didn't know he was black. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cops. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do black people have white palms? Black people have white palms and the bottoms of their feet because when God was painting them they were assuming the position. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach. What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? Quarterback What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by 100 black guys? Warden. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's white and ten inches long? A black person's criminal record, and that's just his juvenile record.

August 4th, 2018, 07:38 PM	#13618
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	Get to know as many mathematicians as you can as a lot of mathematicians add up.

August 4th, 2018, 08:33 PM	#13619
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,986 Times in 15,731 Posts	My mom always told me she met my dad in a club: The Mile High Club