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October 27th, 2017, 12:06 PM | #12781 |
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was constantly in a hurry, thus gaining the nickname "No Time Toulouse."
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October 27th, 2017, 02:44 PM | #12782 |
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Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand......
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A very shy and reserved couple married and went on honeymoon. Neither had seen the other naked. When the man removed his shirt, his wife commented on the size of his elbows.
"I had elbola as a child." "Don't you mean ebola?" "No, elbola, it makes your elbows get big." Then he took his shoes and socks off, and she commented on the size of his toes. "I had tolio as a child." "Don't you mean polio?" "No, tolio, it makes your toes grow big." The he took his trousers off, and she commented on the size of his knees. "I had kneemonia as a child." "Don't you mean pneumonia?" "No, kneemonia, it makes your knees grow big." The he took his underpants off. "You didn't have dicktheria then?" she asked. ""No," he said, "smallcox..........." |
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October 27th, 2017, 03:00 PM | #12783 |
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So my girlfriend said to me, "I'm really looking for a knight in shining armour". So I replied, "Well, have you tried Yell.com?"
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October 27th, 2017, 04:53 PM | #12784 |
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October 30th, 2017, 10:12 AM | #12785 |
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I covered my tackle in black shoe polish this morning!! Then somebody told me I was supposed to turn my clock back.
I hate being dyslexic!! |
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October 30th, 2017, 01:13 PM | #12786 |
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October 31st, 2017, 08:03 PM | #12787 |
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Costume Party
Host "What are you?" Me "A harp" Host "Your costume is too small to be a harp!" Me "Are you calling me a lyre?"
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November 1st, 2017, 10:37 PM | #12788 |
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I went to the doctors and told him I had a small mole on the end of my penis. After he examined it he said " the good news is I can remove that for you. The bad news is, I'm going to have to report you to the RSPCA".
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November 5th, 2017, 11:28 PM | #12789 |
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The latest celebs to be tainted by the Hollywood sex scandal are Lassie, Skippy and Flipper!
But, reportedly, they are all getting help. |
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November 9th, 2017, 08:24 AM | #12790 |
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Very sexist of the political correspondents to keep referring to the resigned minister as Pretty Patel - you don't hear them saying ugly Farage, but perhaps they should.
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